Shotgun Logic

[jackofnightmares]

It is a good morning to kill something or some one
The winter is insane here
Comes and goes day by day
hot tamale
chili tomorrow

Even in my darkest pit of despair and depression after crazy mikes death
I never needed an actual shotgun to my head
I could get by on images and bad dreams
I put my arms around their shoulders
and say
"When you put that gun to your head
you are putting it to your mothers head"

Break on through to the other side
the sunny side
"All happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."Leo Tolstoy life goes on
I hope
Midnight Express the movie
the way every one had to get revenge
everybody gets stabbed in the ass.

And I have been a back stabber since the git go.

I must always remember it is a woman's fault
that must be true
I read it in the Bible.
And you know scripture don't lie

[SadLuckDame]

I've missed talking with you lately.
I hope all is going ok there.
I just finished watching it's a wonderful life...that ending gets me.
"Remember no man is a failure who has friends.
Thanks for the wings"
Written on the inside cover in a Tom Sawyer book.
What a good movie.
I liked how Clarence did things.

Anyway, sometimes I'm convinced I have an angel or see them in friends. Once my girlfriend and I were sitting on a big stone wall, she wore this sea colored blue dress and she has amazing blue eyes too. When I looked up at her the moon was over head and I swear I saw an angel wink back at me through her, I swear it. I'll never forget.

[the mingo]

"I must always remember it is a woman's fault "

? Eve was not the first cursed. Check it out. the Lord God came into the situation already knowing the source. And that source was not Eve. Gen.3 - verse 14.

[gypsyjoker]

mingo lingo dingo
hello my old friend
I just come here cause of the lovely chicas that hang out here at doreen's tea party

but then there are all these peckerheads I have to put up with
I never had a dog blow up on me, and my headless roosters were all kosher but but but

You got me spending about forty five minutes coming up with a reply, but at this point this is spontaneous. With footnotes.
Thanks for the inspiration.
I been feeling pretty flat lately
It felt good to feel inspired again.
To re affirm my heretical faith
keep the faith steve'
thanks for being a cyber pal



Footnotes:

But to fully appreciate the dialogue between Eve and the serpent, another point must be born in mind. The serpent, who is reproached by devout souls for his deceptiveness, his antipathy to righteousness, and so on, is actually telling the truth .

that the serpent is an emancipator, a kind of Jewish Prometheus,

http://laingsociety.org/colloquia/psych ... rpent1.htm

[gypsyjoker]

You are a classy dame
dame
I don't know how naked a man and woman can get in public
but I think men have been blessed with more nakedness.
this is my existential strip tease


I missed you too
but I got self censorship issues to deal with.

There is a tasty bit on the end of my fork, my best impression of "old bull" coming back at you. I have never read the naked lunch, but maybe one day I will be that hip too.

Funny I just ran into some word play on the Wonderful Life,

It is pretty got dam ugly for me these days, but were still living so every things okay.
Kind of a shame when some old person has finally figured out how to die peacefully in her sleep that some fucking doctor who forgot about the art of medicine but has a death grip on the science of it cuts her chest open to install a pace maker. Even though her son
this in spite of her family's request that there be no heroics. this was her last request to my homeboy "Please spare me the heroics my dearest son" Okay mom he said.

meanwhile I can hardly cut my nails or wipe my ass
but even so
life is beautiful
wonderful even
I am going to move my scale into my kitchen see if that helps.
thanks for being a cyber pal.

On the upside of that pace maker the up side was that she got to die at home, which I think is what she was holding out for. I am or have come to be grateful for that doctor putting that in her pace maker because it got homeboy so mad he finally brought her home to die. If ever I saw a person at peace with that mighty smitey god of her mothers before her it was Alamo Rose.
The rose of Agudis Acheim
I was hoping that the extra week would have been a chance for my sister to make peace with her mother. But that has taken another twenty five years. Never too late to feel a mother's love, not even for daughters. Sons get off so easy. Ha. Thinking of my nephew putting that shot gun to his head.

Speaking of serpents look what I found thanks to sweetwater's post to the Lit Board

The Bosom Serpent

[SadLuckDame]

I share your sentiments, I was so disgusted with the doctors, staff and I'd planned secret escapes to get my nana and grandmom out alive so they could die peacefully at home. But, I'd not succeeded. I'm relieved you had, I know the weight of it, and their pleading eyes.

I'm learning to love my mother because of you. Something I may not have attempted to heal if not for our talks. I'm working through it.

There's a rose tree poem I read once, a classic. The catfish introduced it to me. I'll try to hunt it down for you. You may like it, I adored it but it was when I was just newly introduced. I saved it but by way of mailing it to another boards pm box, a board I no longer visit. At the time it seemed smart to save it there, now I'm regretting it.

[SadLuckDame]

My Pretty Rose Tree
By William Blake

A flower was offered to me,
Such a flower as May never bore;
But I said "I've a pretty rose tree,"
And I passed the sweet flower o'er.

Then I went to my pretty rose tree,
To tend her by day and by night;
But my rose turned away with jealousy,
And her thorns were my only delight.

[stilltrucking]

a thorny mystery
for me
the mother's aura

There is a torn picture of Homeboy
it was taken at a dance
Rose tore off half the picture
the half with his date
Homeboy a better man than me
to stand by the woman he loved


A beautiful poem by Blake
roses are so got dam mystical

mothers who are jealous of the women in their sons lives
"let him marry where and what he will
I only wish that he love me as I love him" quoted from memory a plath poem she wrote for her son.

I got nothing left to loose
I am one step Beyound the pleasure principleThe aim of life is death, and I got issues from here to the cemetary about that. Repression is a bitch as I try to be aware of why I am doing this to myself.

[SadLuckDame]

He only likes roses too, I'm a wild flower girl.
I used to write a lot of good-bye letters, none very effective and often he'd lure me back within five minutes of it. It was good practice. I could of worked up a book of good-byes on the morrow.

Men are tough, and what are women. I'm not much, I figured that out long ago. I've prided myself on motherhood, but who knows, especially raising a daughter. It was different with my son, we were young together, I'd be dead without him and he knows. I'll try not to stress out over the choices in his love life. Almost that time, right now he group dates still.

I still haven't read The Bell Jar. It's on my list.
But, I'd read some of her poetry.

P.S.
Another night in with movies
I rented The Moon (have you seen it yet?)
The Painted Veil

Sleep good u, see you later

[stilltrucking]

Have not seen the movies will check them out
Slept good
thank you
Ah the bell jar
as much about her relationship with her mother as anything else.
I mean it is more than a story about her madness
her mother put the novel down to her daughter's insanity
but I think that was just all the truth she could handle

oh well
interesting book
I forgot how many times I read it nine or 15
In thirty years of wndering it was my rod and staff and comforting
along with the collected poems of Anne Sexton

Men are tough, and what are women.

It beats me dame.

Rose was in her forties when she had a daughter, after three sons she was so happy to have a daughter.

By the time her daughter became a rebellous teen ager Rose was in her sixties and clueless.


going to check out the movies.

[SadLuckDame]

Only had a chance to watch The Painted Veil last night. It was very interesting and enjoyed. I'll go check out The Moon one. It's supposed to be about a man alone in space with only his thoughts and maybe facebook, not positive. Looks like I might likes it. I'll let you know.

I don't know which is easier to raise, the sons or daughters.

I felt bad for my parents having three daughters, it was never easy on the patience in our house.

He'd wanted a son.

Funny thing was the reasons he'd suggested for wanting a son--to go fishing with, play baseball, fix-ups around the house, etc. typical boy stuff. My youngest sister and I did all of those things with him. But, he has two grandsons now, neither with any interest at all in his interests, neither rough, nor dirty, nor athletic or adventurous.

It's a good thing he'd had daughters.

Except, as you say, when the teenage years came
too much trouble then worth
girls more rebellious
more able to bring trouble home
then boys who might keep it outdoors
out of way, maybees.

[stilltrucking]

My sister a teenager in the sixties. It was not something Rose could get her head around.

I censor myself when I try to write about Crazy Mike and my sister. What is strange to me is that she forgave him but held so much hostility towards her mother. She thought Rose did nothing about it. It took us years worth of conversations to reconstruct the events.

I can imagine all sorts of darkness, so many hours with the dead rats and maggots. But theft of childhood I can not do.