Diane Arbus

[stilltrucking]

Sometimes she carried her camera around without any film in it, merrily snapping away at things that caught her imagination

http://www.utata.org/salon/38028.php

[SadLuckDame]

A rough day, just sort of emotionless, but stumbled on this and it gave me something to do. I'm loving her work.
Went searching out more, this one not English, but with good photos. I might babblefish it.
More of her pictures

[stilltrucking]

I just woke up to a train passing by, woke from a dream about being in jail. feel like my blood Sugar must must be higher than the dow jones.

Bad feeling out of sorts. Diet shot to hell again.

Stuck in inertia, did not smoke pot yesterday for the first time in a week or weeks. Always a let down but will probably feeling better later.

I ran into her work by accident while I was looking for this guy.
Miroslav Tichý
See also.
Extravagant Disorder: On Miroslav Tichy

His pictures of women. Women women women, and sugar all I think about lately.

And now I was sorry that God had made me a man. The beasts, birds, fishes, etc., I blessed their condition, for they had not a sinful nature; they were not to go to hell after death. . . .
(John Bunyan, Grace Abounding)
http://syvvi.wordpress.com/in-inglese/j ... rol-oates/

[SadLuckDame]

Maybe it's the planet alignment.
If we're out of sorts.
I think the dame died when the shot the moon, though I'm the only only who thinks so. Planets have a lot to do with us.

I didn't mention to you, but I bought the Bell Jar. It should arrive in a few days. Maybe I might like it, but her poetry hasn't quite gripped me much, hoping her book will.

I'll look him over.

[stilltrucking]

If you can read the Bell Jar like you were a 12 year old Jew boy the summer they executed the Rosenbergs you might get into it.
.
I spent a lot of time thinking about her relationship with her mother.
I don't know anything about astrology. I hardly ever see the stars any more living in this surburban sprawl. So many man made lights it drowns out the night sky. But when I do see the night sky I am comforted by a feeling of the tender indifference of the stars. Not sure if indifference is the right word. But it is a tender feeling, a calm feeling. It chills me.

[SadLuckDame]

If I could paint I'd paint you a dark sky full of them. Maybe I'll try that today. I've all the acrylics and stuffs, just no skills But, maybe you won't care, if you consider me your friend.

I found this thinking you'd like it...
Indigo Girls

[SadLuckDame]

Checked out the Tichy article last night, then went to search out some of his pics. I did a search through google. On second page I clicked a site and it gave me a virus. Cleaned it up with my virus protector, but just thought I better let you know too, in case you go searching sites with his pics.

I found him so delightful, but completely creepy too.
Once was gardening and looked up to see a lens pointed at me, unbeknown to me, Oh man! was I ever freaked.
I'm mostly paranoid. But, if not at the end of his lens, well then I found him an artist. How's that for me being screwy.

[stilltrucking]

I found him so delightful, but completely creepy too

Yes they mentioned that in the article about him in The Nation.

My first impression drew me up short: these were the trophies of a hunter, and by looking at them I became complicit in his chronic trespasses against the women of Kyjov!
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20100503/prikryl/2

Sorry about the virus.

[SadLuckDame]

It's not your fault about the virus, wasn't from any of your links. Just from my continued looking was all.
He was very artistic at least, even though a trophy hunter. I really appreciated the blurry and over-exposed, under exposed, blotchy way of it.

[SadLuckDame]

I got The Belljar this afternoon. It is so much smoother reading and easier to digest then her poetry for me, but that's cause I'm terrible about comprehending the images she paints I guess, I do much better with straightforward and simple, prolly.
Honestly, she had intimidated me.


Anyway, I'm half-way through and loving it. There's you in there Doreen (well at least your name) and I'm to the part where she was just handled by the guy with the diamond, so she's home to mama, but we'll see cause just to it.

Reading it while downing a glass of wine.

[stilltrucking]

Yes it is a brilliant novel.
Yes I remember that scene, the woman hater. she left him crawling around in the muck looking for his precious diamond in her black purse, a darkness in the dark.

Somewhere in the seventies she became my muse.
Like thirty years of being in bed with a stranger.

[SadLuckDame]

I had to put the book down last night, it enlivened that lonely feeling too much I had to talk myself down from the cliff in a way and sort of remind myself or convince that I liked making daisy chains and finger painting, etc. Lonely hard thing to be alone with. Thinking about the stranger in bed. Funny, it's easier to be mad at someone than to not have anywhere to direct any emotions except inward.
Thanks for hanging with me, Jack.

Sometimes at 2 a.m. it's just you and me, your twin and mine, then I can sleep. You help me sleep. I don't know what I'd do, you know?

[stilltrucking]

Yes, "beware of thoughts that come in the night"

That bit about "beware of night thoughts" is from a book by "William Least Heat Moon" called Blue Highways. I can't find the exact quote right now but it goes something like this
"beware of thoughts that come in the middle of the night, they don't always arrive right side up"

I will try and find it later that is probably a pretty mangled version from memory.

I like hanging with women. You guys can think just like a man when you wants to

Ester's relationship with her mother was more interesting to me then her relationship with men.

She wrote a poem called "Medusa"

Makes me think of that Cyndi Lauper song
"Oh mother we are not the fortunate ones"

well so much ramble for now.
I got my dishes and laundry done.
Things are looking up.
But "optimism nauseates me" — John Kennedy Toole

You ever want to read something to cheer you up after finishing The Bell Jar check out "A Confederacy of Dunces" a novel by John Kennedy Toole. He wrote my life. Love that book, It gave me such a warm fuzzy feeling at the end.

[SadLuckDame]

When the catfish pointed me to reading this literature years ago, he said start with Jack, and of course I went out and bought On the Road first. Later after I decided I had to buy more, I bought Big Sur. I had this idea that I'd like nothing more than to be alone with myself for a long time, hauled up some where like a stow away, as Jack did. It seemed so romantic, to be alone with one's thoughts, and how much magic could come from it...

But, this vacation seemed entirely too alone and there was no magic without distraction. Instead I felt murderous, of my self and didn't know who I was alone with actually cause she didn't seem like me at all. Freaked me out. Relieved at least my child came home and played Disney movies all night. Relief in some sort of direction with someone other than me and Sylvia Plath whispering to my empty core side.
Almost to the end, about twenty more pages. Plath and Disney, strangely helped. Better than her and wine with the night humm.

.....
I'll look it up, I'd rather be reading about you, keep me there for awhile till this sickness within disappears.

Have three Richard Brautigan books I bought from Amazon, should be here any day. Trout Fishing in America, The Abortion and a bunch other. The one he wrote like a journal before he committed suicide.

If it gets to be too much I'm gonna go re-read Anais and Henry.