Poetry Discussion with Lightning Rod

[still.trucking]

There are many exceptions of course and it is an ongoing challenge to merge the personal and maudlin and 'just writing what I feel' diary poetry with the universal.
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.p ... try#p83754

Suggestion: personalize it a little more. You start to do it in the first two stanzas but lose it in the third which starts to sound too editorial or preachy. Needs a tangible symbol to pivot from like the physical letter of redeployment or something like that. Give him a name or give his wife or child a name. Make me feel like you are talking about a person and not a statistic.
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.p ... ead#unread

Oh well
Surfer mike used to have a name for people like me.

[SadLuckDame]

I gots a saying for Jacks like you,

Jack be riddle
Jack be the trick
Jack look out
I'm coming in
to light a candle stick.

Poetry is a good time with friends.
It's a way of communicating,

and for me it's a way of catching a wink or giving one with friends.

[Doreen Peri]

Just a note... I'll probably move this to your artlog, Jack.

(the software doesn't allow me to stop the extraneous posts not in the artlogs so I just left it like this. Maybe I'll make an announcement that only discussions about the artlogs/studios can be posted here. I don't know. I'm new to this software version so trying to figure it out).

[stilltrucking]

I did not mean to put here. I don't know how it wound up here. Sorry