Brushing my tooth and taking a shower

[stilltrucking]

Feeling like my will to live has been restored.

I ought to do that more often.

Just rolled a cigarette. It could be "THE" cigarette, got a good congestion building in my lungs, hocking up green oysters, thinking it would only take one more cigarette to kill the camel. Car horn going off now outside my window. I think I will smoke it now.

[mtmynd]

did you survive this?

green oysters may sound like a Dr Seuss story, but i know what you mean. after i get completely fed up with it all i'm gonna buy myself a fresh bag of bugler and have a smoke-a-thon, praying to the gods for an instant death. i doubt if they'd oblige me. they haven't before. why would they after that bodily abuse..?

dammit. i still got some livin' to do. not sure exactly what that means other than stayin' alive right now. but i have this feelin' that won't go away that someday something i do will earn me a kudo from a stranger with a big, grateful smile. boy... did i need that. nobody will know how much that meant to me. i could probably pass after that. i think i could. fulfilled. no regrets. no fear.

<center>hopscotch john never got over it
but still played his hopscotch
over and over whenever he could
life was preposterously wonderful
and he didn't know how else to say it</center>

[stilltrucking]

Doing what I can
To stay alive
But not bullshiting myself about my intentions anymore.

Take care of yourself Cecil.
and thanks for your comments