Smile Boy

Post by **myrna minkoff** » November 12th, 2009, 4:02 am

another juxtaposition for you

the gnat, splat, gone

and

eulogy for a wasp

and

another tune I like a lot

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Post by **stilltrucking** » November 12th, 2009, 4:22 am

And

I am hungry too, eating a bagel going back to sleep

And another song

This one for Smileboy

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Post by **SadLuckDame** » November 12th, 2009, 6:36 pm

Jack, I want that avatar.
I got her by the tail. Nothing to do but to keep going.
Wonder if she's just as tasty at the top. Someday I'll let you know.

I can tell you're in tune.

I think I have time travel or mind travel or dream or out of body experiences down pretty strongly by now. It's just like swimming, heck it's like waltzing. Thanks catfish, thanks Magician.

Hey Trucker, we can eat at the next stop. I gots a couple quarters for the jukebox.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjP3d3Nb ... re=related

Post by **stilltrucking** » November 13th, 2009, 8:29 am

They say you can't judge a cover by its book. But it was the snake on the cover that drew me to the book.

"It is not a woman I want―it is all women and I seek for them in those around me, one by one...."

I should have been a snail or a sexless slugg or queer, I would have been happier.
I know longer seek happiness, only to be aware.
and lord help me Jesus I know what I am.

But Satan is a goy.

And god likes jewish virgins.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » November 13th, 2009, 8:58 am

I can't help but to think that by your introducing the snail or slug, you've removed most or more excitement out of the sexual act. Maybe because I'd dreamt of them. I don't knows. But I do knows the discovery is most the fun, to get it in your hands, the chase of, or some tricks or measures you'd lose out on if you had it always there accessible. Not to say to spend the time on one's ownself isn't rewarding, it is and can be, but to go out towards another is something to keep one interested and awake or hmm, I don't know--all first thoughts I should think of this morning.

Post by **stilltrucking** » November 13th, 2009, 9:06 am

I love women dame
I think they are better people then men.
I aggree witht he Colonel, god must have been a fucking genuis to create them. Your bodies are a marvel.

I like George Santayana a lot, I forget how he said it but something like this.

"Perhaps the only true dignity of man is his ability to despise himself"
As far as I can see it the only advantage to being a man is that we get women as our "other"

bad day for me, looking for fight
put um up.

going to see my baby sister
she is in a hell of afix
what can a brother do
she really could use a sister.
but I will do what I can for her
the dog her old dog is shitting and pissing all over himself, he can't eve3n stand up anymore going to put him down. I suppose

don't mind me these are all first thoughts
a day I don't hear from you is a day without shine sun
thanks

Post by **SadLuckDame** » November 13th, 2009, 10:22 am

Putting a dog down is hard to do. It is sad, they're like best friends.

It took me two years to grieve through having my german shepard put down. He'd become so extremely aggressive towards people, even faces just walking past the windows, he wanted blood and it made him sick vomiting every day with his stress. I loved that dog. All of my dresses had holes in the back of them from him holding onto them to follow me from room to room.

Post by **stilltrucking** » November 13th, 2009, 2:57 pm

It is hard, my sister crying my nephew says take a valium that's what I did or I would be crying too. I say what's wrong with crying. Any excuse to pop a pill. Well what ever helps him make it through the day, he is doing better than I was at his age I think. Better living through chemistry. Freud said biochemistry would be the answer to all our neuroses I read. Psychoanalysis just a temporary step on the way to quantum neuro theology.

Meanwhile I was in a foul mood this morning neurotic is us, my sister and all all.

God likes Jewish Virgins, yes I said that somewhere this morning. Thinking about Sister Estelle. I like her a lot I hope she don't read that. Mary is not a popular name for Jewish girls anymore. I don't think I have ever met a Jewish girl named Mary in my last two thousand years.

Strang book I read a long time ago called 'My First Two Thousand Years, by The Wandering Jew' Mousey used to give me heck for not thanking people who read my compulsive scribblings and took the time to reply. Thank you dame. Hungry again, Lean Cuisine, 92 cents a piece, I got money in the bank if I don't give it all away again. I am living high on the hog.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » November 13th, 2009, 3:45 pm

It's been a long time since I was a virgin, but it's experience, I've never been Jewish, only a virgin once. It was a big green Ford truck 1973 I think. It was a tough truck, he was a rough guy.

I didn't cry today. Only felt like it twice, but I swallowed and tried to escape, forgetting the dog, or the motions of the day, forgetting sisters, but I should of thought of sisters, Jack. I should of thought of how mine could feel light and hid under a gazillion blankets. We made a lot of tents. Playing ewoks.

I don't like the real world at all.

People do need sisters and I noticed I do well having brothers.
Thanks too Jack. That book cover is nice stuff, makes for an attractive attention grabber.

Post by **stilltrucking** » November 13th, 2009, 4:08 pm

Two years, I think it has been that long since my dog died. I can't even remember. Maybe it has only been a year and a half. I guess I am finally getting over it. Vicious little Pekineese. Belonged to the lady next door she ahd to go into a nursing home and nobody would take him he was so mean. They were going to put him down. He was 14 years old when I got him. I don't think I will ever have another dog. I could not stand it again to lose one.

He bit the shit out of me. I mean he wouldn't just bite me he would tear into me multiple bites. His snarls used to give me the willies. Sounded like a tasmanian devil I think but I don't think i have ever heard a tasmanian devil, maybe on some nature show on tv.

I had some pictures of him posted but Geocities shut down and I lost them all.

thanks for the condolences. And sharing your experience with dog mourning.

We burried Murphy (my sister's dog) near to where we burried Nikko(my dog) .
It was a family affair we all took turns digging his grave.
___________________________

RE:
Nikko

Devil Dog

I look at his picture and realize I am not over him yet.

Post by **stilltrucking** » November 13th, 2009, 5:26 pm

RE: the avatar

What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more' ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.' [The Gay Science, §341]

To comprehend eternal recurrence in his thought, and to not merely come to peace with it but to embrace it, requires amor fati, "love of fate":

Ouroboros

Post by **SadLuckDame** » November 13th, 2009, 6:14 pm

I don't know why it's said animals don't have souls, I can't believe a thing like that when looking in their eyes. Like your little guy there. More soul than most walking, walking zombies.

Please don't forget to put flowers on his grave. Loved that book. It means a lot.

I'd prefer to be exactly myself, living this life over and over. I'd hope to know the same souls in it too. I could do this again, even the challenges and losses. It could be worse. All challenges. But, who I am is who I'd like to be. It's good to know.

Trucker, you've just sparked something happy in that wiki. It's the same wiki the Magician linked me and got me started thinking about biting myself.

I decided tonight I'm gonna leave my body for awhile, I'm gonna try it out. Let me know if you see me walking around Big Sur or some place lovely.

Post by **stilltrucking** » November 13th, 2009, 11:36 pm

Have you ever seen the twilight zone episode about the old man and his dog walking down a country road and they come to a gate with a man standing there?

I am virgin again
I will always be a virgin in my mind
Sexually I may be the most innocent man on studio eight. I have had 29 years of solitude to revirgify myself.

Stuck on the the eternal return, slowy sinking in what it means to me.

I do believe animals have soul. I do believe I have a soul.

Never once in my child hood did I ever hear an adult in my family speak to me of heaven or hell or life after death. No one ever threatened me with eternal damnation for being bad.
or heavenyl rewards for being good
it was all here and now for them.

I wish I could have a poem for you dame, or a painting
All I got is hope
that all is well

Thinking about that fire and brimstone upringing of yours. But I know that is behind you now. I spent a lot of time in the darkness as a child staring into it. With the smell of dead rats and maggots, darkness and maggots, what did i see...

I used to love trucking, staring out that windshiled into the sky. running from my past. There was one hair pin turn on a road in Utah coming down off of Soldier Summit
I loved that road at night on that turn as i curved off to the right you could see a sky full of stars and wonders right before you. Like being on the bridge of a star ship. No trees no houses no power lines nothing to block your view just the night sky and the tender indifference of the universe.

I do believe in eternal life I do believe in a puppy dog heaven and if we are good they let us in too. If not we got to keep on trying till we make it. I think this is it for me. My fate. Going to be a long time before I do this again and next time I will remember it as I am starting to do now. What was the name of that river again. Has to be a native american name The Yough?

Thinking about another river. The river called Lethe

Chapter Eight
The Faith of a Heretic, Walter Kaufmann

"I am te lord and there is no other beside me there is no god....I form light and create darkness, I make peace and create evil;

Satan never gained any great importance in Judaism, least of all in the Hebrew Bible but some of the lesser minds invoked him to solve the problem of suffering."

Post by **stilltrucking** » November 13th, 2009, 11:48 pm

Don't mean thonthing dame
I aim to divert
and amuse
in my autistic way

I been thinking about becoming an Aztec in my later years.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » November 14th, 2009, 2:15 am

The Commonest Things to Hold or Look at.

He kept a good room for her to look about
caught things in his bare hands
showed them up like paintings
the decor and she liked what she saw
there clinging to the walls, sat on tables
hidden in drawers.

She came to him because he was scientific
his different lighting
he pulled the creature from pins.
Then he'd held but a butterfly high up
with transparent wings.
And when she'd stood to look it in the light
the world outside seemed but softened.

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

Smile Boy

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