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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » November 18th, 2009, 9:42 pm

It might be a blessing mostly,
but at times it's a curse we've more moon.
Moonlight Sonata

Jack, forgive a girl like me.
And there's no moon tonite, and I'm lost
not hungry, that's odd
making mistakes at work due to transition.
If I could only tap into the flow
than be happy there
be happy with the flow.
Do you ever feel like that Jack?
or is it a woman thing?
On Mount Cyllene in the Peloponnese,[5] as Tiresias came upon a pair of copulating snakes, he hit the pair a smart blow with his stick. Hera was not pleased, and she punished Tiresias by transforming him into a woman. As a woman, Tiresias became a priestess of Hera, married and had children, including Manto, who also possessed the gift of prophecy. According to some versions of the tale, Lady Tiresias was a prostitute of great renown. After seven years as a woman, Tiresias again found mating snakes; depending on the myth, either she made sure to leave the snakes alone this time, or, according to Hyginus, trampled on them. As a result, Tiresias was released from his sentence and permitted to regain his masculinity. This ancient story is recorded in lost lines of Hesiod.
Tiresias

Thinking of my last snake dream, recalled tonight over indulging on myself.

Thinking of your mirrors too. Saw this~
Madame Bovary echoes Tiresias. Emma looking in her mirror, contemplating her death and hearing the song of the blind beggar, reflects her vacillatiing struggle between the masculine and feminine identity.

How long since you've seen her?
Well, it might not be something you want to say or not.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » November 19th, 2009, 9:51 am

One of the most famous snake dreams in the history of chemistry
Kekule dozed in his chair by the fire, trying to solve the riddle. As he nodded, he dreamt of the twining serpents on that old ring, whirling in the flames. Suddenly, in the dream, the serpents caught each other's tail and formed a circle. Kekule saw the answer. The carbon atoms formed an hexagonal ring with alternating single and double bonds. Each one held its own hydrogen atom -- "like charms on a bracelet," says von Baeyer. It was a structure utterly alien to anything else in chemistry.

http://www.uh.edu/engines/epi265.htm

One of the earliest dreams I remember was being taken down through a manhole into an underground hospital where boys were turned into girls.

More about that dream here:
Dreams~Mystic Arts

<center>"We are always the same age inside"
Gertrude Stein</center>

If I see myself as a woman it is as a very old woman with withered breasts hanging down to her knees.
Well in ten years, you’ll be playing soccer with your tits, what do you think of that?
Last Tango In Paris
I read some where that she was raped in the butter sceene. They never told her what was going to happen she never saw that in the script.

I look at my old man legs, my old man face, my old man teeth, my old man eyes and I think I am still a kid. I think age is harder for women to face then men. And I think that is because men are more vain than women. We kid ourselves about age more than women.



I had a homoerotic dream a couple of months ago the first one I ever remembered. They say all men are latent homosexuals. But some of us have a choice. More about the dream Here

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » November 20th, 2009, 8:54 am

Yes, that's been a constant on my mind--biting the tail.

Do you agree with Freud's thoughts on infants? I'm not so sure, but I don't know otherwise, so I just sit back and listen.

That's quite a dream. I think it'd scare me.

Last Tango In Paris
I read some where that she was raped in the butter sceene. They never told her what was going to happen she never saw that in the script.
Do you mean she was raped during filming?

I've only had one lesbianistic type dream once. I'm not sure it was completely what it seemed, I think it was just embracing women, but I couldn't recall enough details to decide.

Last night I'd dreamt of death. I hadn't known the 'guy', his name was Scott, but the people I was with (co-workers) knew him. The 'friend' who announced Scott's passing and horrific accident--I looked at his grief stricken face, I saw wet teary cheeks, then a bubble of blood under his eye. I thought, that's strange, he's crying actual tears and a tear of blood. He'd had both.

I felt uncomfortable there, I'd even considered quietly leaving. They were all very saddened and I was emotionless. I felt awkward in my emotionlessness. I'd found a quiet way to stay though, and was later needed by a co-worker to help her get food to eat, for she was too disheartened to shop, but was starving. I was glad I could help and be given an errand.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Post by SadLuckDame » November 20th, 2009, 9:10 am

Also, I awoke with Autism and Astrology heavily on my mind. I don't know if I was dreaming of it, but at 2:30 am, there it was. I was questioning if the two worked together or not. Had autistic children bi-passed the astrological effects somehow? Were they not truly cancerarian or tauren or sag? My niece is autistic, she's also a sag. I was trying to decide if she'd had sag qualities buried within her autistic nature, if I could pin-point sag as I do the autistic acts and so forth.
I'll ponder on this more later. Just tossing it out there.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Post by stilltrucking » November 20th, 2009, 9:46 pm

Jack Kerouac is Pregnant by Aurelie Sheehan

I like that title a lot
A book of short stories.
I have not read it but I might. Money burning a hole in my pocket, thinking about buying some books.


That nightmare about being taken down into an underground hosptial where little boys were changed into girls, I think that was about the time my mother was pregnant with my sister. I remember trying to imagine what it would feel like to be pregnant. Pretending I was pregnant. I was about eleven at the time. Somebody wrote a book about the sexual curiosity of children, their theories about sex.

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Post by SadLuckDame » November 21st, 2009, 4:00 am

Jacked up on High Notes of Myself, To Jack.

puff puff
puffing up
like the dragon
I am.
transformation
dragging the monstrous pit
vying per say
within.
he sometimes eats me inside
around and I'm to rattle him
between my ribs.
by the tail
I'll pull his length out
chew bits of ego
bite size
foul in my bosom
fouler than my black throat
my disease of internals.
sir, pent up howls a beast
of enormous wait.
I wrestle through the ha!
thorn his thundering breast
and softly goes bud.
I find me there
with breath,
I've escape.

Thinking of Egotism; or The Bosom Serpent. N.H.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Post by tinkerjack » November 22nd, 2009, 7:01 pm

Thinking of Egotism; or The Bosom Serpent. N.H.
synchronicity
I have never read that story. But I think I should it parallels something I just read in I Am A Strange Loop. "How we live in each other."



I am breaking new ground dame, thanks dame. I picked up a book in a thrift shop about Neuroses. Man I tell you it reminds me of a bit I read in a I. B. Singer short story about crazy people who come to their senses just before they die.

Singer is one spooky writer.

One of my favorite lines from him is this one from a story called Crown of Feathers
''if there is such a thing as truth it is as intricate and hidden as a crown of feathers.''
I will get back to you on the other replies as soon as I sleep on them somemore.

I really like Hesters little poem about Still a fish
Shit she could have wrote my life.



_______________________________________
The Atheist Who Hears God's Voice By ALFRED KAZIN

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A CROWN OF FEATHERS
And Other Stories By Isaac Bashevis Singer.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

East European Jews have produced many stories, narratives, legends, but until our day, very little fiction. In Jerusalem last summer, at a symposium on ''the sources of Jewish creativity'' to which Isaac Bashevis Singer was probably not invited (he embodies so many ''sources of Jewish creatively'' all by himself), the orthodox Chaim Potok admitted that ''It is not possible for an orthodox Jew who was committed to esthetics to be honest to both traditions.''
This should be obvious, but isn't to a great many Jews who still read novels but can't understand why, since he is the one Jewish novelist who can write about the unchanging Jewish struggles through the ages, Isaac Bashevis Singer is just as interested in truth as he was when a young Chassid in gabardine and earlocks timidly looking at the street life in Warsaw.

The historic problem for Isaac Singer--as witness those other children of devout families, Hawthorne, Melville, James, Mark Twain, Stephen Crane--is that whereas the orthodox believe that truth is personified by God and God is the truth, the Jewish novelist who derives from orthodoxy may find truth always protean and amazing because this is the way God actually thinks and moves. God may even be a novelist ceaselessly creating characters who, as Melville said to Hawthorne, must astonish Him as much as He astonishes us.

Isaac Bashevis Singer is an extraordinary writer. And this new collection of stories, like so much that he writes, represents the most delicate imaginative splendor, wit, mischief and, not least, the now unbelievable life that Jews once lived in Poland. But Singer is also a rarity among Jewish novelists. Though necessarily secularized, he still has access to the mystical Jewish theology in which he was brought up by the rabbis on rabbis who were his father, grandfathers, uncles. So the world to Isaac Bashevis Singer still represents the mind of God. Pious folks are obsessed with obeying the will of God. But God, the inexpressible Other, the unfathomable Father who dominates pious lives, is to Singer an endlessly surprising thinker whose uncountable variables of creation are so many that Singer has an amused understanding of classical paganism, made up of irreconcilable spirits who were nevertheless behind every bush. And who rather crowded the world with their busy divinity. But who else would say in his own voice about Israel: ''In the paper before me I read about thefts, car accidents, border shootings. One page was full of obituaries. No, the Messiah hadn't come yet. The Resurrection was not in sight. Orthopedic shoes were displayed in a shop across the way'' and in the same story, ''The Captive,'' have a painter say about Israel: ''Once I had a philosophy about indifference. But here one cannot be indifferent. At night, when the moon is shining and I walk through the narrow alleys, I am enraptured. If I moved to another country I would die from yearning. I stroll along the sea and literally hear the words of the prophets. It's in my imagination. I know, but I'm surrounded by the old Israelites and even the Canaanites and the other nations that preceded Joshua, the son of Nun. I've lived in both Algeria and Morocco. The ghosts there are wild apaches, murderers, maniacs. This land teems with saints and heroes. Although I do not believe in God, I hear His voice. An atavism has taken hold of us Jews and it is even stronger than the instinct for life. Don't you feel it?''

There are 24 stories in this collection. The (mostly) Jewish characters who pass through them (not forgetting the thin unsaintly vegetarian who wrote them) do just that--they always just pass through. They are part of a mysterious creation that is the larger, more interesting part of themselves. Their notable temporariness in this world may express their flight through the mind of God. But this ''passing through'' is also a tribute to the larger body of believers, God's people living and dead, whom a Jew calls upon when he prays and who help make up the deeper existence of the individual Jew. But since Singer is the most unsentimental observer of his fellow Jews, this ''passing through'' is also seen as a desperate mutability. It is what his Polish Jews have built into themselves as result of so much hatred in their hearts. They believe the world to be unreal.

Singer's characters are vivid, vociferous, but they are not all together important to themselves any longer. Perhaps that is why there are so many of them. Yet the are not mere victims either, they suffer from their own capriciousness (always a cardinal point with Singer), for they mean to do right, out of habit, but suddenly find their duty in this world indecipherable. And that is something they have against the world, which in their pious youth felt easier to the touch.

In the title story, a beautiful and gifted young orphan, Akhsa, brought up by her wealthy, pious and indulgent grandfather, hears the voice of her dead grandmother scorning the harshly pious suitor her grandfather has picked out for her. Akhsa refuses him, the grandfather is disgraced and dies. Akhsa, alone in the world, now hears her grandmother telling her that Christ is the son of God and to look inside her pillow for the sign. It is a crown of feathers, topped by a cross. Akhsa is so impressed by this communication from the spiritual world that she becomes a Catholic, marries a Polish squire. Eventually she discovers that her ''grandmother'' is being impersonated by the devil. In the last and most remarkable section of this story, she returns to the Jewish community, searches out and marries her old suitor, a religious fanatic who has never forgiven her and who forces her to undergo a series of wild penances that finally kill her. Before her death she still longs for a sign, ''the pure truth revealed.'' But though she guesses that there is another crown of feathers in her pillow and this one bears the four Hebrew letters that stand for the unsayable name of God, Akhsa dies without the assurance that this crown is more a revelation of the truth than the other. The townspeople who find bits of down between the dead woman's fingers can never figure out what she has been searching for, and ''no matter how much the townspeople wondered and how many explanations they tried to find, they never discovered the truth.''

For some reason Singer thought it necessary to add to this story the reflection that ''if there is such a thing as truth it is as intricate and hidden as a crown of feathers.'' This is so much his faith as a novelist, and his practice, that I can only suppose that he wanted to admonish the Yiddish readers of the Jewish Daily Forward, where Singer's stories first appear, and who are now accustomed to more unctuous accounts of Jewish life and belief than they get from Singer.

I do not mean that Singer is a shrew about Jewish life, like certain American Jewish writers who cannot get over mama and can displace her only by reproducing her legendary force of invective. Singer swims happily in the whole ancient and modern tradition of the Jews--Jews are his life. But he would certainly agree with Mark Twain's reply to anti-Semites: ''Jews are members of the human race, worse than that I cannot say of them.'' And he would also say, as Jews know better than anyone, that oppression is not good for people.

In these stories the Polish Jews emerge on a world scale, yet remain parts of a distinctive Jewish environment: Warsaw when it was under Russian rule (the first time), Coney Island, Paris, Tel Avi. They have been through Czarist pogroms, Nazi camps, Communist camps; their intimate family memories go back to the murdering, rampaging Cossacks of the 17th century who buried Jewish children alive. And here they are anywhere but in Poland, with the blue concentration camp numbers on their wrists, up to their lips in one mad love affair after another (Singer is among other things the most rueful and the funniest novelist of the erotic life in Yiddish literature), and above all, bemused by their own obsessions.

Singer describes old Kerenskyites in New York (some of them Russian aristocrats) hobbling around each other until one falls dead. ''Bulov took the corpse's wrist and felt for a pulse. He made a face, shook his square head from side to side, and his eyes were saying ''This is against all rules, Count. This is not the way to behave.' Skillfully, he closed the corpse's mouth.'' He describes a Warsaw mother, insanely vain, and her son, a self-destructive prodigy, who in their night clothes dance together in the middle of the night. They will die together in the Warsaw Ghetto. He describes a Yiddish writer so madly in love with a married woman that her enraged husband maliciously made her pregnant. Now ''her son'' regularly comes for handouts to the lover, who supports him in memory of his beloved--and out of guilt for ''causing'' her pregnancy. He describes a woman who unaccountably, maddeningly is always losing things, and finally gets permanently lost herself. She just disappears, like one of her possessions.

Demons, it seems. Demons are a big thing in Singer's fiction, though many of his ''first'' readers complain to him that demons are not to be believed in--a strange complaint indeed when you consider Jewish experience. But on this point the husband of the wife who was always losing things has the perfect comment, addressed to Singer himself, who appears in several of these stories in the most natural and anecdotal sort of way. Memoir here becomes story, and story somebody's memoir.

'''You often write about the mysterious powers. You believe in demons, imps--what have you... Even if demons do exist, they are not in New York. What would a demon do in New York? He would get run over by a car or tangle himself in a subway and never find his way out. Demons need a synagogue, a ritual bathhouse, a poorhouse, a garret with torn prayer books--all the paraphernalia that you describe in your stories. Still, hidden powers that no one can explain exist everywhere... I have had an experience with them. The Yiddish newspapers wrote about it, and the English ones too. But how long do they write about anything? Here in America, if the Heavens would part and the angel Gabriel were to fly down with his six fiery wings and take a walk on Broadway, they would not write about it for more than a day or two. If you are in a rush to go light candles and bless the incoming Sabbath, I will come back some other time,' he said smiling and winking.''

Alfred Kazin's most recent work is ''Bright Book of Life: American Novelists and Storytellers from Hemingway to Mailer.''

http://www.nytimes.com/books/98/01/25/h ... thers.html
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I used to be smart

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Post by stilltrucking » November 25th, 2009, 4:50 pm

"Is does not matter"

Woke up from a nap, a beautiful dream which vaporized on waking leaving me thinking about matter.

Physics seemed so boring
once upon a time.

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Post by SadLuckDame » November 25th, 2009, 5:02 pm

I'd lost my dreams on waking too today trucker.
synchronicity
I have never read that story. But I think I should it parallels something I just read in I Am A Strange Loop. "How we live in each other."
It's just a short, but I got something from it.
I'll have to read In a Strange Loop someday.
I need to visit amazon.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Post by stilltrucking » November 27th, 2009, 9:58 pm

RE" Strange Loop. I can't make much sense out of it. I had a ten dollar gift certificate and in that whole book store there was not one book I wanted to buy. So I just happened on that one because I stumbled on it in a footnote couple of months ago while I was googling for a book about The Wizard of Oz So I figured I would buy it.

This is the book I found the footnote to I Am A Strange Loop
<center>HER OWN BACKYARD</center>

"But it wasn’t a dream. It was a place. And you…and you…and you…and you were there”

Image

The Wizard of Oz as a Secular Myth of America

I have dreamed of elephants, Bombay was in my bedroom I know she was there because I could smell her scent lingering. I have searched for news of her for years until I stumbled on that PETA ariticle about her death. I don't know when she died it might have been about the time I had that dream about her.


I remember my first dream of my mother after her death. It was a good dream but then I was sad for a while when I woke up because I realized she was dead and I would not see her again. But then I realized I would be seeing her again and I have never woke from a dream of her with a feeling of despair..

I have heard a girl's best friend are diamonds and a boy's is his mother.
My mother only broke my heart twice.

.
Last edited by stilltrucking on November 27th, 2009, 10:26 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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Post by stilltrucking » November 27th, 2009, 10:19 pm

More on strange loops and The Wizard of Oz.

What would a child ask

In the early twentieth century, Alfred North Whitehead and Bertrand Russell clarified that mathematics and logic are one and the same thought process. A twist was added to this wisdom when, in 1931, the mathematician Kurt Gödel demonstrated that mathematics would always be incomplete, caught in a recursive paradox that offers no definitive answers. This idea was taken up by Douglas Hofstadter, Professor of Cognitive Sciences at the University of Indiana, in his book Gödel, Escher, Bach, in which he demonstrated this recursive paradox in mathematics, art, and music. He called these never-ending paradoxes “strange loops.” In his latest book, I Am a Strange Loop, Hofstadter explains the childlike capacity to imagine in terms of the strange loops of neurons in our brains that can lead to spontaneous discovery. Speaking of Kurt Gödel’s 1931 incompleteness theorem, Hofstadter reflects about “this insight of his into the roots of meaning . . . that thanks to a mapping, full-fledged meaning can suddenly appear in a spot where it was entirely unsuspected.”

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Post by stilltrucking » November 27th, 2009, 10:33 pm

When Albert Einstein was asked how, while working in a menial job in the patent office instead of at a university, he was the one who discovered the theory of special relativity, he replied that he always asked the questions that a child would ask. Noting that by the time most people grew to adulthood and became educated about reality they had stopped their childhood imagining about the wonders of space and time, Einstein, who didn’t converse until he was three, said, “I developed so slowly that I began to wonder about space and time only when I was already grown up.”

In Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s fantasy novel, The Little Prince, after traveling through space and time from asteroids to earth, the Prince says, “Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.” In Charlotte’s Web, a magical children’s book by E. B. White, Mr. and Mrs. Arable become concerned about the sanity of their little girl Fern when she seems able to converse with Wilbur the pig, Charlotte the spider, Templeton the rat, the sheep, the lambs, a gander, a goose, and seven goslings—yet Fern and her childlike characters are able to prevent Wilbur’s death and to rejoice in friendship, love, and the miracle of life. In The Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum, Dorothy is whisked through space by a cyclone from Uncle Henry’s and Aunt Em’s farm in Kansas to the wonderful Land of Oz, where, with Scarecrow, Tin Woodman, and Cowardly Lion, she travels the yellow brick road to the Emerald City only to learn that the great Wizard is nothing but a humbug—and she can return home by simply clicking the heels of her ruby slippers.

These stories, and countless other children’s fantasies, fairy tales, and parables, are also cherished by adults. However, scientific and logical thinking separates this “fiction” from “fact,” meticulously relegating it to being “only in one’s imagination” rather than in the “real” world. Still, we cannot help but notice that these childlike and imaginative ways of knowing, as in the case of Einstein and most great innovators, are keys to creativity in the real world.
ibid

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Post by SadLuckDame » November 28th, 2009, 11:19 am

This makes a lot of sense to me. Both of my children try to logically explain that there is no Santa, nor a Toothfairy, they try to rid me of belief, but I believe because I believe in the imagination being more tangible than the boring unbelief. If I were to write a novel, it'll be of the imagination, which is more lively than anything outside it.
I'm not trying to say I think like the great Albert E., for I've not a stitch of science in me I don't think. I'll not be anything extraordinary
I'll be and stay but plain. Though, though, I'd like to fancy meeting an extraordinary. Anyway, I don't even know what I'm admitting to now. My vanities, prolly.
I remember my first dream of my mother after her death. It was a good dream but then I was sad for a while when I woke up because I realized she was dead and I would not see her again. But then I realized I would be seeing her again and I have never woke from a dream of her with a feeling of despair..

I have heard a girl's best friend are diamonds and a boy's is his mother.
My mother only broke my heart twice.

.
I miss your Mother too Jack. I miss her singing. I hope you won't mind my saying it. But, I felt close to women.
I miss my Grandma, too. I miss her and I look for her in people to watch her do her thing again. Three weeks before she died she was still dancing, still swearing, too. She was so able to seem childlike and alive, that I couldn't believe she was gone. I still find her in me, and in my children, some of her charms flicker and I watch for them to spring to life, briefly but worth it.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Post by stilltrucking » November 29th, 2009, 1:30 am

It is harder for my sister than me to deal with her death.
That bond between mothers and daughters is so hard for me to grasp
The Bell Jar was very interesting to me on many levels, one of the most interesting was the relationship between Plath and her mother. In one poem she refers to her mother as Medusa.

White Bird Sings had a GO called reclaiming MEDUSA

I like to watch you work too
you are a poet
truly

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Post by SadLuckDame » November 29th, 2009, 1:34 pm

I don't know if I've any bond with my mother. Sometimes it hurts to think it. I was never what my mother would have preferred.

I'm an individualist Jack.

I don't want to be like any other woman out there.

I read about the Chinese horoscope stuff, and dragons. It'd said somewhere that especially in the year of the dragons, parents wished for sons, not daughters, because the daughters in dragon years were not good at submission, they'd have trouble and rebel with parents, rebel against their husbands, rebel against churches, religion, society. Too strong willed, too independent.

I don't know if I am very unique,
I get paranoid reading then finding myself, my thoughts in books from other authors. I worry I'm not the individual I so wish to be.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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