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Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 5th, 2009, 5:28 pm

Good grief, but she'd called Porter
who told her to call Irery
whom was busy in the toiletry
so she recalled Porter
he'd not said 1 common word to her
only to return to Irery who smiled
while he pissed on the strap of her best
tan shoes.

no joke, it really went down like that
and now she doesn't have a quarter left.

Post by **still.trucking** » October 6th, 2009, 5:18 pm

Show time:

She had that one hanging on her bedroom wall. She could have posed for it, the body build the hair.

She smiled and said no, it got to be a wrestling match, Oh I wanted to fuck her okay. But I was too much a creep to do it by force. I wonder is that is what she wanted? Later she said I could not look her in the eye. But I looked into her brown eyes long and deep. I saw the smoldering embers, the fire. I could not proceed on a no, let your yes be yes shakespeare or the bible says.

Pissing in the wind jerry jeff

Pissin' in the wind, bettin' on a losing friend
Makin' the same mistakes, we swear we'll never make again
Pissin' in the wind, but it's blowing on all our friends
We're gonna sit and grin and tell our grandchildren

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 6th, 2009, 5:44 pm

Women are strange creatures. I don't know what yours was thinking. I can only tell you all about mine, I never hold back.

Post by **still.trucking** » October 6th, 2009, 6:02 pm

She was beautiful, but it was her roomate I lusted after.
I guess my heart was not in it.

Ah dame

SHit.
I feel like poor old Kaw-liga
Yes it was the room mate I feel in lust with. Such a sweet soul consuming passion. I have a weird probably immature sexual nature or maybe it is innocent

Never think about the sex act when I do fall, always the beattles I want to hold your hand kind of romance. No doubt the fucking thoughts are there too, but back in the recesses, all that is going through my my mind is her got dam teen age pg 13 puppy dog love.

And finally she stopped trying to divert me with her room mate and she closed the door and sat on the bed and smiled at me.
And I stood there like a wooden Indian and never let it show.

Yes women are mysterious
and I am a fool
I felt unworthy of her love.

Reminds me of Bonnie Rait how can they love me when they don't even love themselves.
Poor old Kaw-liga

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She was a princesspesa
and momma told me the princess never marries the butcher boy.
not that marriage had anything to do with it.

I heard Archie is going to marry vampy Veronica not sweet pure Betty. I always thought veronica was more beautiful.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 6th, 2009, 6:58 pm

Amy
I love Amy Wine house.
I guess trucker, you're prolly better off without her.
If you never loved the doll, than ya just can't force a thing like that.
Who knows if love even does exist out there, it could just be a saying.

And damnit! But, he didn't make me laugh, never, ever, ever.

I don't likes him.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 6th, 2009, 7:52 pm

the event horizon of consciousness

I been using that phrase the last couple months. Do you ever google yourself to see if you had an original thought.

I googled that phrase and got two hits on google. The closest to what I am thinking was on a Christian Astronomy website, interesting but not quite what I am thinking

If the first Adam was little more than a sophisticated ape on the event horizon of consciousness with a legacy of millions of years of death and bloodshed behind him then how can Christ be called the redeemer?

Not what I was thinking. Not to do with religion but with the phenenomenology of my consciousness.

The other hit

Classical Work: To the Edge of Dream, for guitar & orchestra
As a whole, the piece seems to proceed from conscious gestures "to the edge of dream" - after the final extended cadenza for the guitar, the orchestra enters with a brief yet stunning coda built of string section harmonics alternating with otherworldly chords played by a double harp/ celesta / vibraphone / triangle / woodwind / trumpet combination, the whole forming a fragmented event horizon of consciousness. ~ All Music Guide

I read something about Eternal Return (Nietzsche) that I just can't access right now. It is just below the even horizon of my consciousness. Somewhere between consciousness and unconciousness.

I will get back to you if it makes through into my conscious thoughts.

But related to a premonition of vague feeling of what I think he meant is this thought

I don't see it as I am better off without her. I see it as she was better off without me.

she was no empty headed doll . A senior in the fine arts department at Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh. I read her seniour paper on Plath. She called Plath failed feminist, a proto-feminist. She was an artist,

Eternal return my life just as it is
the tragic the comic, the sublime, the terror the love the wonder the dread the awe the tender indifference
all that has brought me to this moment.
eternal return
I have come back to the same point in the coversation we are having several times now you have said something that makes me think of it again eternal return.

fuck it I will have leave it hang here till I can articutlate what I am thinking
about the eternal return.

__________________________________
Amy is sublime.
Thanks for the song
She is a great talent
I double dig her voice.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 6th, 2009, 8:19 pm

Maybe you're thinking it's all a big circle. You're talking to just some dumb chica, who done her man wrong in the bedroom department. It's the biting of the tail, it's make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver the other gold. A circle's round, it has no end.

I never google my thoughts, but that's cause I don't have one amazing one worth googling. But, I will someday, I might get to throw out there and see if it's got a match. I do google my name, and my pet names and their names and pet names, stuff like that when I'm bored to tears.

Yes, me too. He's better off without me.
He already thanks me for it. He's got a girl from HS and all is well.
That's destiny.

As to screwing. Screwing is a form of communication, so someone famous said. If communication sucks to begin with, what's the bed scene gonna be like? It wasn't even about him being a terrible screwer, I never said he was or wasn't, never think of it. It was about nada on connection.

the event horizon of consciousness

I don't know what it means. Conscious in the making?

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 6th, 2009, 10:25 pm

Fme pumps

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 7th, 2009, 5:26 am

Joan Crawford Come Fuck Me Pumps

Speaking of original thoughts.
Amy has sure changed but the voice is the same. Thanks for the music.

I had that conversation with bennie2 once. bennie2 is also plane old bennie.

It sure is a pity about what happened in Scotland eight hundred years ago.

I am still dealing with shit that happened to my family during my time on this planet. Everyday something to remind me. Yesterday with my sister, talking about funny stuff that happened in our family. So many funny stories. She has a great sense of humor. I was stoned at the time I should have wrote them down now I can't remember.

In that picture of my grandmother ...She is wearing about six dresses in that picture, and two overcoats. She had a unique fashion sense. My sister named for her sister who vanished in Poland. A family tradition children named for the dead.
I had a wonderful childhood, the occasional dead rat with maggots did not destroy my happiness.

Oh well there he goes talkinga bout those fucking six million dead jews again.
I don't expect white people to relate to it. Just something in my personal history. Just as whites can't relate to the black experience, not deep down not in a visceral sense. Except for Sylvia Plath, I suppose that is what attracted me to her voice. That and the raven haired green eyed woman at Carnegie Mellon in 1973.

PBS does some great history shows.... the blacks in america. Jews in Charleston south carolina celebrating passover their freedom from slavery, while their black slaves attend them serving the passover meal. YOu know I have heard that you can get all the irony you need in your diet by eating Trix, but you have to eat the spoon too.
I was in C.O.R.E. back in the sixties picketing a Jewish Deli in Baltimore. I heard a sweet little Jewish grandmother say "What is wrong with these people, I would not want to go where I was not wanted" Of all the people in the world not to get....it was a shock to my system to realize that Jews could be racist too.
I suppose we are all latent racist.

"One death is a tragedy, a million deaths are a statistic." Uncle Joe said. You remember Uncle Joe, no before your time.

World War II casualty statistics vary greatly. Estimates of total dead range from 50 million to over 70 million.[36] The sources cited on this page document an estimated death toll in World War II of 62 to 78 million, making it the deadliest war ever. When scholarly sources differ on the number of deaths in a country, a range of war losses is given,in order to inform readers that the death toll is uncertain. Civilians killed totaled from 40 to 52 million, including 13 to 20 million from war-related disease and famine. Total military dead: from 22 to 25 million, including deaths in captivity of about 5 million prisoners of war.
http://www.google.com/search?http://www ... urceid=ie7

Fucking is sweet.
But is that all there is?
I hope not

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 7th, 2009, 5:28 am

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 7th, 2009, 7:27 am

Fucking is sweet.
But is that all there is?
I hope not

I was talking 'bout communication, but both are same, I guess that works too.

Anyway, I've got nothing solid.

All I knows is, if he and I hadn't had our 'communication' issue, we'd of done ok. Regardless of chemistries, race, religion, favorite instrument.

I go back to an image that sits heavy in my mind.

A young little girl.
White flag.
Still dead.
Neither understood the other.
Communications a bitch.

Post by **stilltrucking** » October 7th, 2009, 8:19 am

"Language is a bitch with an ice pick" somebody on litkicks a long time ago.

Sometimes I am writng for myself.

Sometimes I am writing for somebody else

Ten four on the communication

I have learned to listen better to my sister.

To appreciate her concerns.

They say women have more white matter in their brains
Men more gray
circular thinking and linear thinking
but in the end we seem to come to the same conclusions
if we listen to each other with "hearing hearts"
something Solomon prayed for a "hearing heart"

"A dialogue of the skin" someone on litkicks a long time ago discussing love making

I think about an image I saw in an art museum
of a little girl in a white dress
a dog named nietzsche on a chair.
her face the face of a mature woman.

women's faces like flowers to me
so interesting so beautiful
I was such a vain fool as a young man
summer of 1962
my true love had moved on tired of waiting for me to grow up and act like a man and marry the woman I love. (her idea not mine, she asked me to marry her and I said no) and the last night with my penis in her vagina she said no, and I withdrew. maybe Janis Joplin would say I was a good man to one woman one time. I comfort myself with the thought that she was better off without me.

so there I was walking across campus
Father dead,
sleeping with a rifle to my head (a figurative gun I need to think about every night to get to sleep)

And hear comes Sarah T, so smart, so funny, so kind, but she did not have a pretty face.

But she cheered me up with her humor and good sense. AND like the picture of the girl in the white dress, Sarah's face would grow more beautiful through the years. She was destined to be beautiful in her old age.
ah
"dang me they ought to take a rope and hang me"

Thinking about my Hero Emma Goldman. She has always meant more to me than Golda Meir. Golda left on her own, turned her back on her adopted home, Emma they deported, she did not want to go.

Anyway Emma on her way to speak at a rally against Mr. Wilson's War, recieving death threats. But she wrote in her diary how . It was not the thought of being murdered that sje was afraid of, but the thought of being shot in the face and disfigured.

A male sexist thing I guess
but a woman's face is a rose is a woman's face.
And what wonders i have seen in their eyes.
"Where have all the flowers gone."

And men think about sex every six seconds I have heard
but a woman feels sex.

Silent Woman (aka spider woman) had to smile when she spoke of her husbands attempt to control her through sex.

"the event horizon of consciousness"

I think it was Nazz who had a bit about
"the not quite conscious stuff.

I think is related to the construct of "repression"

Stuff I won't let myself write
about sex

These are my sex tapes
eyes spy on the house of love

My first nightmare or one of the earliest I can remember is of an underground hostpital where little boys were transformed into little girls.
I have read that all men are latent homosexuals.
Maybe so. But I feel I had a choice. Women are dangerous furniture.
That black widow male spider got to be nimble
and jack sprat should eat no fat.

I had a homoerotic dream a couple weeks ago. My first. Or at the least the first time I did not repress it.

Every couple of years I have an erotic dream about the woman in the shadows. Ummmmmmmmmmm. Love that dream.

What the hell were we talking about here?

My mind wanders.

Heal thy self mz dame, you heal your self
me too
with a little help from my cyber pals.

Post by **SadLuckDame** » October 7th, 2009, 5:42 pm

I'm gonna digest the last post, but first trucker I wanna return to this~

I could not proceed on a no, let your yes be yes shakespeare or the bible says.

I say, Oh hey! What about Beatrice?

I'm just re-reading it,

Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

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