Dream

[stilltrucking]

I never ditched a woman in distress
Never ditched a woman but she ditched me
thank god.

Lost and found in a border town
Anthony Texas/New Mexico
mile marker zero in texas
she came out of the darkness and startled me.
said she was 18 looked about 14 to me
I could see she was scared
"Mister would you give me a ride to San Antonio."
She asked.
Back in the nineties this happened when the women's bodies were first being found in the desert around phar lepht texas.

I thought it might have been that.
But now I think it was just the cops she was running from.

Long story if you want to hear, short version is when we got to Ft Stockton she freaked a lady cashier out who called the cops on her, so she comes running up to my truck where I am fueling up and tells me we got to leave now cause the cops are coming. I told her I was not Rodney King or Burt Reynolds, so she faded into the darkness and I waited around for the cops to catch up


Yeah that woman in the dream was stylish. I would not mind meeting her again.

[SadLuckDame]

I know it was prolly like the time she robbed those tall, dark men on the corner of ninth and Barnacle, cause she liked the smell of their after-shave. Can always tell a girl on the run, and lonesome doves. It's the fresh face.

[SadLuckDame]

It's not like I make it a habit to go into jewelry stores.

[zero_hero]

I don't know what she was into. Running from the man or a man probably. she was pretty dame
Even so I did not want to give her a ride.
But she seemed so desperate

Kind of beat tonight, plenty of humor in the story,
I am sure.

Just not up to it now.

"but he was so young
on a ten city run
in love with a truck stop girl"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRBKcrn9Xlk

[SadLuckDame]

I don't know either, just gonna see if I can embrace this girl of yours long enough to be her for four minutes at the truck stop.

She might be out of the habit, without practice or cents in the pocket, could be as hallucinatory as I so often am...can't believe what's right on the counter and if she were like that, then I can see why she robbed them in pretty daylight...cause then I can hear her inside voices going, "I can't believe I'm doing this."

Yes, I likes that humor, reminds me of the dolls and dark men standing flipping their wallets open and wearing a cocky hat. And her with a twinkled eye. Girls do like men with character. Thinking all those black and whites we watch late at night.

Sleep well, too.

[stilltrucking]

I am trying to be me on that night. Trying to be honest as to my motives for giving her a ride. I resented the fact that she asked me for a ride. I was just a company driver, a hired hand. If I had been caught giving her a ride I could have been fired. That truck was not just a job, it was my life, my home my shelter, my refuge.

She was so desperate to get out of Dodge. So I laid my livelihood on the line for her. Am I a nice guy? or was it because she was pretty and I was hiding ulterior motives?

I will tell this much for sure, she did not trust me and I did not trust her. I told her to get some sleep but she could not close her eyes.

The funniest part was when I said "Who do you think I am? Rodney King" She had some sort of Smokey and The Bandit movie running in her head I guess. Imagine me outrunning the cops in an 18 wheeler. So after she faded into the night I waited for the cops because the lady at the cashier desk told them I brought her.

Slept pretty good, my life is changing, I mean I am considering moving. Got dam me and my fucking altruism.

[one of those jerks]

I suppose I turned out to be her enemy, dropping her off in a small town where I thought she would be safer than a border town like Laredo or El Paso. But she stuck out like a sore thumb in Fort Stockton, She could have disapeared into the San Antonio night. But I am a selfish bastard I did not want to go the extra mile for her, I felt nothing for her. I suppose I should have gone out of my way and gone through san antonio and dropped down to Laredo only a hundred miles out of route but I liked that run across the bottom of texas on old ninety, I loved the darkness, sometimes it seemed like you could see for a hundred miles without a light on a cloudy night.

I must be under sexed, you know real truck drivers would fuck a snake if you held its head.

[SadLuckDame]

She might of been soul searching. You know the type. There could of been thirty men at the truck stop, but mabees none but you had lights on their truck. It's too bad things didn't turn out. Did you lose the truck, lose sleep and she hadn't meant nothing but a pretty face, the sad lives we all fall into or under or on. I hope you didn't lose nothing. Gains are what we wanna go on, but life thinks it's better saddened. Guess it wants to see what will happen too.

I gave her a hug for you, and one to you and there I hugged myself for trying.

[SadLuckDame]

I don't know how to say it except tell a story of a girl I knew, too, prolly similar to your truck stop girl, except the one I knew was a waitress with tips shoved in her stockings. Her name was Sally (we'll pretend).

She interests me, because though it was sad and all, she seemed pretty happy. She was one of those that got pregnant right away, had the house, the kids, a hubby, car, and freedom all day long. A spoiled housewife, ya know.

Anyway, she gave it all away to another female named Joannie, (Joannie with a very large chest, and mouth and I doubt she stopped talking, might screw a snake herself, I'm sure she screwed on schedule)...that got me thinking.

Sally took only the kids and got a tough, dirty job waitressing.

Unbelievable, but I think she smiled and I thought, well that might be the first I'd ever seen her smile before. Was so odd, I mean, women want the house, the car, the hubby, the freedom to houseclean when not napping or so I thought.

She started painting walls in spare time, with a lot of bright colorful moths, like Lunar moths and everyone I knew kept saying she had to of had a boyfriend, cause all of her moths were dancing. She seemed like her heart was like an apple on her breast. But, I only saw her alone on porches, or washing coffee mugs and talking to locals, never saw her kiss anybody or go out to dinners.

She found something that delighted her though
and it wasn't what I thought women were wanting. She threw me off in unexpected ways.

[stilltrucking]

Maybe she was 14, maybe she was a run away. That is what I am thinking now.

I am thinking about H L Mencken for some reason this morning, thinking about my sister and brother in law.

Thinking about my nephew and his struggles to "act like a man" to do the right thing. We have different views on that.
"Up against the wall red necked mothers who have raised your sons so well"

Thinking about my father Crazy Mike and my sister's struggles to "act like a woman"

Silent Woman told me a woman can make a man do anything and I wondered "maybe so but at what cost to herself"

thinking thinking
when perhaps
I should be drinking

[SadLuckDame]

I was bringing it up kind of to ask where were the Joannies, where are all the truck stop prostitutes and I guess I thought there might be a lot of them. I might of missed something though. There just seems to be different types of women, and some gave up a long time ago, their choice and their choice to fix it back up on the inside, until then aren't they being employed at the truck stop inns, and all the other stops along the road.

[stilltrucking]

Thinking about entropy and communication
Oh I thought you were talking about the girl in my truck.
I don't think she was a prostitute

The prostitutes are on the CB radios. They are in cars and trucks. I never wanted no truck with them. I am too vain to pay for sex.

I have had them knock on the door of my truck and ask me if I wanted any "commercial company" they are known to the truckers as "coin operated beavers" never figure out where that name came from.

Prostitutes are very biblical. The patriarchs in the bible were always looking for the harlots by the side of the road I think.

A woman got to do what a woman does
It is a man's world they say
I ain't judging
I just don't go there
except once when I was fourteen years old and was hanging out with an older crowd. It almost ruined sex for me. Took me years to get over that.

[SadLuckDame]

She was a runaway, not knowing who she was and only knew the road wanted her to go, go, go. One of my all time favorite movies was Thelma and Louise. I always had that runaway feel to me. Was easier not to face the issues, the road seemed adventurous enough that I'd forget the bad times, only didn't realize the road might have it's fair share.

If I were a man I'd be out on that road though or something like it.
I'm glad you didn't hurt her Jack,
even if you dropped her off in a small town, she might have a life by now.

[SadLuckDame]

The runaway you picked up reminded me of the one in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, remember her?

Fourteen and fifteen is an interesting age for females. I recollect feeling invincible, had lost touch of the childhood need in guidance, but had not gained a women's sense of fear in the world, a teetering spot, where it must be the sort of way a man feels, to go out in, but we find out the hard way we're not men and then it becomes a women's recollection of her past story and journal, eventually if we survive it.

Thinking of Anais, thinking of Janis, thinking of my fifteen year old self, thinking what I'd uncovered and discovered when ignorant of of women's intuition kicking in yet or sensibilities, etc.
I still see the men leering out their car window, they got that beast look and it was a look I'd not recognized at the young woman age, it's developed through becoming woman.
Got to go to work, talk with you soon.

Thinking more women need to raise their families, extended women raising, all those Aunts, sisters and Grandma's too.

[stilltrucking]

Still thinking about language communication and confusion

Jamming wit da entropy again

14 or 15 year old baby sisters

She a child of the sixties my baby sister

born in 1953

Sometimes our bosom snakes are entwined and entangled

Got a song for you dame

CHRISTABEL

It's been seven long days and seven hard nights
In a sixty-two Chevy with broke taillights
An eastbound man in a westbound lane
A dishwater blonde about sixteen
Was standing on the shoulder with a ribbon in her hair
Her hand on her hip and her thumb in the air
And I pulled off the road and as she grabbed for the door
I knew the wind was cold 'cuz I'd seen it all before
And I was scared

Things ain't never what they seem
When you find yourself livin' in your own dream

Now the moonlight peeked in and out behind the clouds
Now and again on this godless child
And the radio was scramblin', cracklin' in the air
The ribbon she wore looked old in her hair
And I saw the moonlight sliver dead down on her face
I knew it was true she was in the wrong place
In the wrong time, in the wrong tale
I knew when I'd asked her she'd hiss, "Christabel"

Things ain't never what they seem
When you find yourself livin' in your own dream

She was after the man who'd left her alone
With no father beside her and love longtime gone
And the snake deep inside her a hiss in her head
The rest that had been her was dying or dead
And she'd a taste for young women with pearly white skin
She spat on the floor when she spoke of the man who made her like this
Who had written her tale
This medieval maid they call Christabel


Things ain't never what they seem
When you find yourself livin' in your own dream

Then she breathed out the story of her lover to be
A knight'n shining armor on a silvery steed
Who longed to be worthy so he sought the crusade
While she waited, breath bated, in linen brocade
But a pair of black eyes wove 'round her a spell
The snake they call Lydia seduced Christabel
And she cuddled her tender and she poisoned her soul
She stole her young body and made it her own

Things ain't never what they seem
When you find yourself livin' in your own dream

Now the knight would love Lydia in Christabel's arms
And Lydia would have it should he ever return
But Lydia was left with the story undone
No silvery steed no castle no throne
Half woman half serpent entwined in a spell
A barge black and fancy this medieval tale

And she faded at dawn the bird and the beast
Deep in the dreams of those bound for the east
Like me

Things ain't never what they seem
When you find yourself livin' in your own dream

Things ain't never what they seem...


—Robert Earl Keen
from No Kinda Dancer, 1984
http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=781

I was a little taken back when you said not to hurt her,
Ha
I am just glad she did not hurt me
Reminded me of Aileen Wuornos
Who the hell knows what goes on in another's mind? Only the shadow do