Stumpy

[stilltrucking]

I had this tenuous hold on reality, I was hanging on to it by a thread, and it broke. And I lost touch with reality.
My little bubble of sanity and reason popped like a soap bubble.

Freaky user names, I think I am going to create another sock puppet goin to call him stumpy.

[stilltrucking]

Slipping through mental health care holes — taking victims down with them

How Do We Stop the Next Aurora?
We need a mental health system that helps men like James Holmes—and Jared Loughner, and Seung-Hui Cho—before it’s too late. . .

as he felt himself falling into his mind’s abyss.

"We really have to be our brother's keeper here and reach out and get them help," victim Randy Gardner said.

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_ ... again.html

[myrna minkoff]

[SadLuckDame]

Thank you for that.
It's at the front of my mind often, how to extend my life and to keep my heart at beat, until I cannot possibly do so any longer. If I'm guilty of planning for anything at all (and I try not to, because it's absurd to plan well if a thing has flee pattern, flight paths, feet to go off on), then it is that I'm planning a lot about how to stay alive, at least for as long as I have option, opportunity.

[zero_hero]

Call me Mr Guilty
Yes the longer you live the more alive I feel
But I don't try hard enough to extend my life
sometimes I can understand Kerouac all too well
he was so young old

turtles and crocodiles from here on down

There is a darkness, a metaphysical or metaphorical or maybe mystical ithe dark sea with us. I should fear it more but somehow I put my faith in it. I just give in to it. So far it seems to be working out just fine. As I struggle with it. I am a mass of contradictions, sunshine and shadow. I have lost my fear. Maybe that is a good thing.

like crawling hundreds of feet into a cave, a pitch black subterranean cavern to paint pictures on walls
eros and thanatos
monotheism is a hard sell
the darkness repells me and draws me forward
all I can do is trust to the light
of my own path before me as it reveals itself to me here

this text box makes no sense, I edit on the run but do not delete, every miss step, every failure to communicate is another step on the way.

Coherency escapes me, am random as a quantum entity, I find meaning where there is none. Becker nailed, the denial of death



all I know for sure is
this road I am on is precious
as I learn to trust myself
and the people i talk/write to are precious to me too