Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

I had this tenuous hold on reality, I was hanging on to it by a thread, and it broke. And I lost touch with reality.
My little bubble of sanity and reason popped like a soap bubble.

Freaky user names, I think I am going to create another sock puppet goin to call him stumpy.

Thank you for that.
It's at the front of my mind often, how to extend my life and to keep my heart at beat, until I cannot possibly do so any longer. If I'm guilty of planning for anything at all (and I try not to, because it's absurd to plan well if a thing has flee pattern, flight paths, feet to go off on), then it is that I'm planning a lot about how to stay alive, at least for as long as I have option, opportunity.

Call me Mr Guilty
Yes the longer you live the more alive I feel
But I don't try hard enough to extend my life
sometimes I can understand Kerouac all too well
he was so young old

turtles and crocodiles from here on down

There is a darkness, a metaphysical or metaphorical or maybe mystical ithe dark sea with us. I should fear it more but somehow I put my faith in it. I just give in to it. So far it seems to be working out just fine. As I struggle with it. I am a mass of contradictions, sunshine and shadow. I have lost my fear. Maybe that is a good thing.

like crawling hundreds of feet into a cave, a pitch black subterranean cavern to paint pictures on walls
eros and thanatos
monotheism is a hard sell
the darkness repells me and draws me forward
all I can do is trust to the light
of my own path before me as it reveals itself to me here

this text box makes no sense, I edit on the run but do not delete, every miss step, every failure to communicate is another step on the way.

Coherency escapes me, am random as a quantum entity, I find meaning where there is none. Becker nailed, the denial of death



all I know for sure is
this road I am on is precious
as I learn to trust myself
and the people i talk/write to are precious to me too