slowing

June 2006
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creativesoul
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Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
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slowing

Post by creativesoul » June 5th, 2006, 4:18 am

i had to stop the rollar coaster life today
just went though the piles in my room
one by one,
it seems like i moved here and just kind of through the furniture and the books and the countless papers in boxes and piles all in a semi-vaulable state. then i went to school full throttle
tonight i am celebrating that i finally got the medium
i got the etching process
taking stuff out ;burning with acid
putting things back in
and the tints and shades and shapes formulate an image, an idea that is sometimes so vague, only to be brought back in a ghost like manner, and now the semester is almost over
it was a gift
after all these books and stories and sciences
i had a semester of art
i protested having ugly nails and stained skin
whined about the work it all seemed so much harder than i once imagined
art for pleasure is different then art by demmand
i quit smoking
i couldnt breathe all the solvents and smoke
something had to give
i have to lie about all the artists i have studied
because i could barely focus on anything
i have alot of things i want to read
someday when there is not a healing ceremony or a lodge
when there is not a millon things to do
tonight i had to just brush the dog and watch a wierd movie where denzel wasington plays an angel
i sort of suspected he was an angel anyway
whitney houston sang alot of cool songs
and i snuggled with the cats one by one
i took a nap today
there were boyfriends in my past that tried to get me to take naps
i never could
last night i heard a woman speak about how when you are abused as a child that it is dangerous to get close to people
i resemble that remark
i felt all strange after i heard her talk, and well my firend was all talking loud and laughing so i did not let on
i was driving her home after a parade and down the street a large tennis shoe with ronald mcdonald drove past
i hate ronald mcdonald
all the ambiance of a state prison at mickey d s
driven to distraction
i just keep driving
i let people off at thier house
and i suffered a little disappiontment
i have been told that the people of long ago were mentally stronger
that they did not get disappionted easily. they had suffered drought, persecution and starvation
they were stronger than we are
i avoid discussions about abuse or intimacy because i am posativly terrified that even i will realize the truth
sadness comes in all colors
the stories that i was told when i was a child had nothing to do with reality
black history and native american history are all happening at the same time
at the same time that there were cannons pionted at the natives, slaves were being share cropped
i guess i just am shocked that just like the halocost
there are still people being persecuted
the motives?
greed
:cry:
what can i do?
when i lived in Africa I met some of the most beautiful happy people I have ever known, thier children played with bottle caps
when i came back to america a black man said"hey baby ya got a cigarette"
i was kind of rudely awakened from my american dream
the flag has big gaping holes that missles have been flying out of for years
if you look closely you can see the atomic bomb being dropped out of the 48 state flag, you can see the hawaiian queen being held hostage in her palace until she agreed to sign her country as a united state-
maybe it is best not to look
if i look inside i see that what i want
and what i get are pretty incongruent with what i actully need
the buffalo are roaming
i feel them inside me
tonight i am celebrating that i can feel at all
that i have not tried to deny or change what i feel
that i am alive, privledged to go to school
that is right
see
alot of people would like to do what i am doing
if i can encourage you to go into debt and ruin your credit for a future that you cannot see yet
i would
if i could ask you to dream a larger dream then the one you are cultivating now
i would

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jimboloco
Posts: 5797
Joined: November 29th, 2004, 11:48 am
Location: st pete, florita
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Post by jimboloco » June 6th, 2006, 8:21 am

"hey baby ya got a joint"
this notion of finding it hard to get close to people
it's to th point
i mean
different sufferings
same tough time
i know i waz once so alone
an introvert loose on th streets of detroit
drove light purple cabs
south of eight-mile road
took art classes at wayne state
and shivered in th cold
th long northern industrial winters
an ash can school charm
as i look back now
it was all ok
but i suffered along th way
Image
ah my drawing teacher was puffing away
it was back in th day
strutting about th studio holding sway
she said,
combat vets make th best artists,
i got so red, this intensity and sadness
and anger
swept up thru my head
as you said so well the lies they tell
the masters of war an we was their folly
but not now
we have broken free
it's tyme fer a mutiny
so fasten yer helmet release yer brakes
an attitude of gratitude
thazz all it takes,
an show me yer etchings,
if you please,
with bated breath
sin·cere·ly
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

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