Not my kind of fan

The vapor trail of some kind of energy, gathered by Firsty for your reading pleasure
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Not my kind of fan

Post by firsty » April 9th, 2007, 12:36 pm

I invited an old friend over the house this weekend to watch a baseball game. The Mets were playing the Braves, and we're both die-hard Mets fans, but we've never watched a game together before, if you can believe that. For old times' sake, we cracked some cans of Genesee and lit our hair on fire.

I cant remember who won the game. As soon as the first inning started, I couldnt help finding mistakes in our pitcher's mechanics. Robert yelled at me, "Hey! He's on our team. Give him a break!" I had another beer.

Robert started picking on the Braves' lineup. I explained that Bobby Cox is about a hundred years old and completely obsolete, but that he seems like a pretty decent guy, even though I've hated him ever since I learned who to cheer for.

"What are you, Firsty?" he asked, spilling beer on his chin, shocked, etc., "A fucking Braves fan?"

"Of course not. I've been a Mets fan since I was born. You know that."

"Well," he said, cleaning up the front of his shirt, "you're really acting like a Braves fan. Bobby Cox can do no wrong, according to you. I guess you'd like Willie Randolph to get fired, huh?"

"What are you drinking, fool?" I asked him. He seemed to be confused.

"What are you drinking? Fucking Coca-Cola, probably."

"I'd rather be fishing, I think."

When the Mets hit a home run, we both cheered. The camera zoomed into the crowd, and a little girl was crying. She was about 6 and apparently got beaned right on the fucking head with the ball. Robert laughed. I felt bad, but that went away with another beer. "That sucks, man," I said.

"Dude," said Robert. "Look at her hat. She's a Braves fan."

I was about ready to kick this guy out of my house just for being an asshole, but the game was almost over. So we had a philosophical discussion.

"So, Robbie," I said. "Am I allowed to ask you what you think about the Mets' starting rotation? I mean, their lineup is tremendous, but I'm not sure about their pitching this year."

"Christ, Firsty, it sounds like you want the Mets to end up in last place this year."

"Hardly," I said. "1986 was a long time ago, and last year was a tease."

"Well then whats all this anti-Mets talk?"

At that point, my six-year-old son threw an empty beer can at Robert's head and said, "You're a big fucking dummy."

Robert looked at me, waiting for some discipline, but I couldnt stop laughing. "Get the hell out of my house, you big fucking dummy. You're no fun."

Go Mets.
and knowing i'm so eager to fight cant make letting me in any easier.

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Post by Totenkopf » April 20th, 2007, 8:51 pm

Real match-up, 4/20: El Lay vs. Piggsburg. Dodgers will reduce those thugs into kindling. East coast ball, NL or AL, mafia born & bred (excepting maybe red sox). Yeah, so were Dodgerios, but now got some moxie.

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