The Tweet & The Gnat

[roxybeast]

The Tweet & The Gnat
©2009 Beth Isbell

I was going to write a well-researched piece on the alarming decline in attention spans and the ability to concentrate, but who would read it. I freak out when I see facebook status messages with more than 140 characters. If it won't fit in a tweet, who needs it. Only geezers read books. I want it now & OMG, keep it short. If you can't speak your mind in less than 140 characters, what's the point in even having one!

Medical researchers now blame everything from low zinc & iron levels to poor diet, ... from obesity to TIVO, ... seriously. I blame Twitter ... tweet, tweet. It's all their fault. Bastards. And they haven't even found a way "to monetize" their idea, as Ashton Kutcher told Larry King! (Frankly, I was more surprised AplusK even knew how to use the word "monetize"). That means to find a way to take money out of your pocket to tweet. Or as Twitter's board members say "TWEET!"

Lloyds of London conducted a study which found that the average attention span had fallen to just 5 minutes, down from 12 minutes 10 years ago. It found today's youth have the attention span of a gnat.

Wake up! This is serious! Sociologist David Moxon, who conducted the survey for Lloyds, says, “Lack of attention has a serious impact on task performance and increases the risk of accidents." Hey morons, this is not funny! 5 minutes of love-making is just not enough for the ladies! Not that 12 was great, but seriously, 5 means no chance for the big O! Guys can have an "accident" in less than 5 minutes & most do! lmao

I realize you can include "links" in your tweets, but come on, if I have to actually click on the link and read the whole article to actually understand what you're trying to say, then you've already lost me. Boil it down to essential headlines, or even less than essential, just funny! Reading is work by God ... and besides my eyes are still blurred from that stuff we smoked last night! OMG, that was the shizz!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, shizz ... no wait, that's not it, well it is "it," but hmmm ... concentrate, brain not working, ... damn gnat!