The Mythos of the "Happy People"

A humorously serious look at life’s trials & tribulations,
American politics, religion, and other social madnesses by Beth Isbell.

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The Mythos of the "Happy People"

Post by roxybeast » May 1st, 2009, 9:04 pm

The Mythos of the "Happy People"
©2009 Beth Isbell


Ok, I admit, I'm sometimes late to the game when it comes to picking up on trends in pop culture, but I've been noticing a mythic rise in the cult of the "Happy People." Which is interesting in that it seems to bear a direct inverse relationship to the collapse of the US economy. Lately, I am being bombarded with happy friends sending me waves of "love and light", far more so than usual, and encouraging me to rid myself of all negative persons who may display negative emotions or carry any type of negative energy. Their Mythos teaches that I will be much happier if I surround myself ONLY with happy people with happy thoughts about happy things.

It would be one thing if I was just witnessing my friends engaging in this pleasant silliness from my perch high above the fray, but now these "happy people" have pulled me into their ruckus. Mind you, now, I did not ask to be dragged into their fray or made part of their Mythos.

A fairly close friend recently told me that she had made the decision to distance herself from me, drop me from all social networks, because she characterized me as occasionally giving off negative energy. She labelled me "passive aggressive," because like any good friend should, I actually told her the truth when her breath did not smell good! The straw was apparently after she posted a cute picture of 55 year old pale white skinny self in her bikini on a beach in Costa Rica, I posted a message that I was glad she was having fun & hoped she came back with a nice tan. OMG, I'm a passive aggressive monster with a massively large mean streak posting things I should have known would cause her to despair over her meaning and existence on this planet! She concluded by sending me "love & light."

So I replied saying that she should know that I always think and have thought she is quite beautiful, my comment was innocent and I meant no offense, people often hope their friends come back with tans. And finally, truth was it hurt me a little she dropped me from facebook. OMG, apparently that was being totally "passive aggressive" too (up until that moment, I actually thought I knew what that term meant), and then she proceeded to blister me with attack after attack after attack about how insensitive I was, how this or how that ... brutal, and her attacks weren't unintentional, misinterpreted or even mildly passive, they were purposefully aggressive. But then she concluded this hate filled angry diatribe by sending me more "love & light," which naturally made her feel happy and magically made everything better.

I guess in the Mythos of the Happy People, sending "love & light" is an excellent way to wash any blood off your hands after the attack and to rid your mind of petty guilt. After all, they were a negative ion person, so they deserved it. I mean, it's not like you killed a puppy or anything. I always thought the point of karma was to do good things, but expect nothing in return, and maybe when you most need the favor returned, karma might return it. Maybe that's just watching too much Earl.

So that brings us to today's discussion. There they were. The Happy People. Rearing their happy heads. And off the discussion began.

Sally (my friend): "Out with the rude, critical, ungrateful ones & in with positive, nice, exciting people that bring joy & energy."

Dave: "I hear ya. I'm sending some positive vibes your way."

Sally: "Thanks Dave, I need it. I usually have my own positive vibes, then rude, ungrateful people steal it from me....just for a moment though."

Bob: "when that happens just think to yourself 'I send you love & release you from me' ... release you is like saying i don't judge you and I send love to match your hate -- love wins everytime :-) "

At which point, fearing I might lose another friend to the Happy cult, I jumped in: "omg Bob & Sally, I just lost a really good friend over all this ... I try never to be rude or ungrateful, but I can't always be happy, positive, or mindless all the time either. Sometimes it spills out, mainly all over me. So maybe the answer is not unrealistically insisting that those surrounding yourself must always be positive happy fuzzies, but actually developing a well balanced ego that is less fragile than eggshells that actually realizes YOU are always beautiful despite others thoughts, comments, criticisms or bad hair days."

Bob: "Beth - nothing wrong with emotions. ... Have you heard of the emotional guidance scale? I appreciate negative emotions because like a fuel gauge they remind me that I need to fill up. People say motivation doesn’t last and I agree but neither does bathing and that’s why it’s recommended daily. I appreciate anger --- oh yes – bring it on. I appreciate depression because I know that being powerless is apart of life – but I like the feeling of having power more then the feeling of powerlessness – so I move up the scale towards anger – and I’d prefer to blaime people then feel all that anger Within me but after a while I just get bored but you know what? Being bored feels better then being depressed – and after boredom I move to Something that feels better Ask yourself this question: Is the world getting better or worse? The answer is simple for an inspiration based person. It's getting better because every problem equals a chance. Every cloud has a silver lining and nothing bad happens without something good happening but A desperation based person will tell you that it's getting worse because that's their focus ... happy people live in a happy world ... cruel people live in a cruel world ... it's a choice really: I know the argument is dont' you see all the horrible in the world and the answer is no -- i don't choose to focus on that. I turn away and pick up something more pleasing. It expands in my reality !!! In my reality happiness rules !!!"

(At which point I'm thinking no, real people, live in a real world, choosing to be cognizant of all of it, but choosing a joyous path)

Beth: "Bob - what? if you want to be happy, be happy, ... if you want to share your happiness, share it ... if you're not always happy, that's ok, I'll still like you even at those times when you don't like yourself & hope that you might talk to me. I don't need you to be happy all the time for me to be happy. I do that for myself."

Bob: "nothing is wrong with it -- no right no wrong per say just preference of choice -- if a person brings up negative things to me that brings it to my focus and if it's done enough it can expand into my reality -- ideas are contagious !!! ... if a person talks about the negative news or tells me about problems in there life and they repeatably do it without trying to think better or reach for the next best feeling then they do not bring me anything that I want in my focus so it's a choice to move my attention to something else."

(OK, so as I'm understanding this Mythos, apparently if you're friend is telling you about their bad day or problem, you should choose to ignore them, move your attention to something else, and be a selfish unsympathetic, uncaring bastard, but still pretend to be their friend)

Bob: "perception is not passive -- it's an act of creation

what you focus on expands

what you think about you bring about

you have 100% control over your focus so

you control your life 100% and

watching negative things or talking to negative people

seems harmless but it's not at all -- your choosing your

focus by choosing to allow that into your life.

--> you vibe with people who think like you

happy people vibe with other happy people
sad people get along with sad people
depressed people like other depresseed people

two drunks in a bar make perfect sense to each other !!!
two meth addicts understand each other perfectly

no right
no wrong

just your focus ( your choice )
your alignment is equal to that of your focus"

(You, the reader, have now been fully indoctrinated into the cult of the Happy People. Please pay the $19.95 lecture fee prior to exiting. Be careful as you exit as your mind has undergone a very powerful psychedelic trip and may still be experiencing psychic after-shocks)

Sally: "Thanks for your thoughts. It's helpful. The bottom line for me is that I will not be around people that consistantly criticize me & make me feel less than I am. I do know I am doing a great job in all aspects of life. I will only be around people that uplift me, as I do for people. Also, if I feel unappreciated after helping someone for years, then I will surround myself with other people. I want to let it go & focus on happiness & helping others."

(My friend Sally seems to have a fairly normal view of it all, perhaps the Happy People have not succeeded in indoctrinating her after all)

Beth: Bob - you and I agree on this - you control what you think & focus on & makes you happy. But sad people can & like to vibe with happy people sometimes as it sometimes makes them better - and the reverse is also true - make a sad person feel nice about themselves and it will make you happier ... There is a danger of happy people only associating with happy people; and rejecting all others. It is just silly to think that you have to hide from anything or anyone who is the least bit negative - it is natural to swim towards the light, but we should not be afraid of the dark either. In everything, one must find balance. The fear that another's negativity may rub off on you is only a true sign you have not mastered your ability to control your own emotions or weak ego. If you choose only surround yourself with this type of self-hyper happy world, then you lose your ability to properly deal with tragedy and loss or to help others do so. There is a reason for both the yin & the yang. Perhaps this will clarify - I would much rather choose to surround myself in a room with truly brilliant intelligent thinkers, even if they are sometimes negative and critical, even towards and of me, than a roomful of always happy airheads. Which room offers me a better chance for meaningful personal growth, self-actualization and true lasting fulfillment?"

There, by god, an effective summation. My friend Sally is saved! Yay! The false Mythos of the Happy People has not stolen another of my good friends. She is still able to recognize that perhaps it's ok to also have friends who are both brilliant but have some negative energy too. After all, the world's leading critical minds and brilliant scientists and philosophers need negativity and complaints in their view of the world, to inspire their brilliant solutions to push the world forward. Should we ignore the beauty of the art of Van Gogh because he chopped off his own ear, ... should we ignore the great societal meaning of the philosophical works of Socrates because he committed suicide? I feel elated, relieved, joyous, even triumphant! ...

But then ...

Sally: "Here is what I want- brilliant, intelligent thinkers that are happy & nice! I don't think it has to be either/or. Just because one is happy doesn't mean they are an airhead."
Last edited by roxybeast on May 8th, 2009, 8:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Post by roxybeast » May 2nd, 2009, 5:53 pm

So after posting this article & sending it to my friend "Sally" who I genuinely like ... she sent me this message:

"Beth - I do think it's safe to delete you now, because it seems you are one of those people that make me irritated."

The Happy People have closed the mind of yet another ...

I am sad because I have lost my friend & because she does not see ...
But the Mythos of the Happy People is to ignore such sadness, treat it as an evil bad thing, a disease that must be cleansed from their lives.

Why is it that if you tell them you like them, genuinely respect them and their work, actually mean it, and want them to be confident in themselves, their ego, their own beauty & self-worth, the Happy People see this as grounds to justify aggression, attacks &/or end friendships?

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Post by roxybeast » May 3rd, 2009, 1:36 am

"Happy Person" "Bob" has dropped me as a friend after he quoted Dr. Wayne Dyer at me to justify his view that it's best to avoid all conflict, thus when someone disagrees with you "they should change" or "you should release them from your life" ... when I pointed out Dr. Dyer doesn't teach this at all and instead teaches "self-worth comes from one thing - thinking you are worthy" ...

-----------------------------------------------------

Bob: "I am sorry to remove you but you are stepping on my ability to be happy. I have to remove you. I had hoped we could have been friends but I hope you can understand. I must focus on things in my life that bring me joy. I do not dislike you but i can't tolerate someone misleading the facts as you clearly do. You are right it's not your reality it's my reality -- in my reality I simply choose to focus on something better. I do not deny it exists but rather I simply choose to love myself enough to say goodbye to people who enjoy conflict.

to each there own --

I hope your blog readers get a kick out of your sarcastic remarks-- you really are funny and I would have loved to have kept you around but you just like to fight to much.. everyone comes into our lives for a reason -- so i hope you think about the things i said to you.

Life is amazing
I wish you joy
I wish you happiness"

-----------------------------------

Look "Bob", what you are teaching is dangerous, and not consistent with the teaching of Dr. Dyer, whom I admire.

Just because someone disagrees with you does not mean such discussions are unhealthy - think where the world would be with out colleges having employed the Socratic method of teaching for thousands of years - the idea is to be open to the fact that you might be wrong, learn from your mistakes, become stronger, be confident in your self and your worth & never run from challenge to your views or beliefs - hope you learn from our exchange and that you have a great life with much success.

One day you will realize that is important that you dropped me as a friend, not the other way around, feel free to return ...

If you're beliefs are not worth defending ...
they are not worth having ...

Re-read anything I have said, none of it is misleading. Truth.

Peace,
Beth

Again ... Why is it that if you tell them you like them, genuinely respect them and their work, actually mean it, and want them to be confident in themselves, their ego, their own beauty & self-worth, the Happy People see this as grounds to justify aggression, attacks &/or end friendships?

Is this getting through to anyone? Hello? Am I alone?

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Post by stilltrucking » May 3rd, 2009, 7:49 am

Am I alone?


Welcome to Amerika Beth.

Welcome to

The Lonely Crowd
How Our Crowd Got Lonely

n an age that revels in complacency and fragmentation, viewing books as quaint artifacts on the fringe of the entertainment business, we may find it hard to recall that books ever guided national conversations in this country. Sometimes the impact on history has been direct. Upton Sinclair's 1906 polemical novel, ''The Jungle,'' galvanized public sentiment in behalf of the Pure Food and Drug Act. In the early part of the 1960's, ''The Other America,'' ''Silent Spring,'' ''The Feminine Mystique'' and ''Unsafe at Any Speed'' helped the antipoverty, environmentalist, feminist and consumer movements get under way. Sometimes books have mattered not by provoking action but by recognizing patterns, offering big interpretations of life, providing names for what, until the volumes appeared, were nothing more than vague perceptions or diffuse sentiments. A book comes out, crystallizes a fear, a knack or a hope into a big idea, a sweeping interpretation of reality that strikes a collective nerve in a large general public. As in the case of Milton Friedman's ''Capitalism and Freedom'' (1962), a book may become a handbook for a major ideological turn. Rarest of all is the book that penetrates into popular consciousness so deeply that its insights become cliches, its wisdom conventional -- to borrow a phrase devised, in fact, in one such book, ''The Affluent Society'' (1958), by John Kenneth Galbraith.

Half a century ago, Yale University Press published the first edition of ''The Lonely Crowd,'' by David Riesman with Nathan Glazer and Reuel Denney. The book's subject was nothing less than a sea change in American character: as America was moving from a society governed by the imperative of production to a society governed by the imperative of consumption, the character of its upper middle classes was shifting from ''inner-directed'' people who as children formed goals that would guide them in later life to ''other-directed'' people, ''sensitized to the expectations and preferences of others.'' In Riesman's metaphor, the shift was from life guided by an internal gyroscope to life guided by radar. The new American no longer cared much about adult authority but rather was hyperalert to peer groups and gripped by mass media. Father might know best, but if he did, it was increasingly because a television program said so.



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Post by roxybeast » May 3rd, 2009, 12:03 pm

Actually, Still Trucking, your reply post here much better fits the article I posted recently entitled "The Tweet & The Gnat!" - check it out. Beth

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Post by stilltrucking » May 3rd, 2009, 6:16 pm

Okay I will

I been reading The Art of Happiness conversations between an American psychiatrist and the 14th Dalai Lama for a couple of years now. The more compassionate I become the happier I get. It seems that way.

Don't mind me Beth
please

I am a wordkook, I will sieze on a word and take off in all tangents from the subject. Which I believe was happiness not loneliness

"What I wish for now is no longer to be happy but only to be aware." Camus

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Post by roxybeast » May 3rd, 2009, 7:01 pm

I don't necessarily agree with Camus, I wish for both, ... tends to work out better! :),

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Post by roxybeast » May 3rd, 2009, 8:12 pm

Due to my transition people have said the meanest, cruelest, de-humanizing things of me, about me, to me, laughing at me, ridiculing me, - I have had to live through all of that - I have cried until I can cry no more - what it has done is made me stronger, more confident, I am beautiful and worthy of love and respect, because I know from the depths of my inside that I am. No one can ever make me doubt that again. :)

Beth

ps--just so you know, my breaking point was quite a while ago, so none of the pain is present ... I was just relaying this story to a friend needing help, and thought I would share it with the rest of you too!

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Post by roxybeast » May 8th, 2009, 8:28 pm

Must listen! ... Howard Stern listening to & commenting on this amazing ukulele cover of "Creep" by Amanda Palmer!!!

http://hypem.com/track/780977/Amanda+Pa ... w+not+live

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Post by Nazz » May 9th, 2009, 11:36 am

If you're always happy, then you're basically ignoring shit.
Nothing wrong with that necessarily, but true.

There are some sites I've visited where if you write with any sort of fire and protest, you'll generally get passed over-- the "poetry as a happy happy joy joy social club" thing. On the other hand, maybe it's my poetry writing that isn't skilled enough. And I guess if you're a downer too often, then you can get too far "out of balance" in that direction.

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Post by roxybeast » May 13th, 2009, 4:10 am

cheer up Nazz ... sometimes it's not the poet, but the audience ... now, go write a nice poem about killing something ... real or metaphorical ... that should make you happy! :),

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Post by Nazz » May 13th, 2009, 5:53 pm

Yeah, well I've been more likely to write in protest of that sorta thing-- like the Iraq "Surge" for example. The response is often nil, breaking down roughly as follows:

1. Silence.

2. Dead silence.

3. Generic form of "yeah man, war is bad".

4. "You should change your name to Ahmed, buy a Qur'an, and learn Arabic, you anti-American coward and terrorist supporter"

Things like that.

Although...... come to think of it, I got a pretty good response on Litkicks for "I am the War Machine".

So it all depends.

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Post by still.trucking » May 14th, 2009, 9:42 am

Happiness Is For Children

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"Natural selection, as it has operated in human history, favors not only the clever but the murderous." Barbara Ehrenreich

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Free Rice

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Post by roxybeast » May 14th, 2009, 5:43 pm

Cool Still Trucking ... some quotes I like from Jed Mckenna ...

"I like happiness as much as the next guy, but it’s not happiness that sends one in search of truth. It’s rabid, feverish, clawing madness to stop being a lie, regardless of price, come heaven or hell. This isn’t about higher consciousness or self-discovery or heaven on earth. This is about blood-caked swords and Buddha’s rotting head and self-immolation, and anyone who says otherwise is selling something they don’t have."

"The emperor has no clothes, and sooner or later everyone is going to see what’s staring them right in the face. When that happens, perhaps, there will be a major shift—a mass exodus away from the complexity and futility of all spiritual teachings. An exodus not outward toward Japan or India or Tibet, but inward, toward the self—toward self-reliance, toward self-determination, toward a common sense approach to figuring out just what the hell’s going on around here. A wiping of the slate. A fresh start. Sincere, intelligent people dispensing with the past and beginning anew. Beginning by asking themselves, "Okay, where are we? What do we know for sure? What do we know that’s true?"

"Here’s a simple test. If it’s soothing or comforting, if it makes you feel warm and fuzzy; if it’s about getting into pleasant emotional or mental states; if it’s about peace, love, tranquility, silence or bliss; if it’s about a brighter future or a better tomorrow; if it makes you feel good about yourself or boosts your self-esteem, tells you you’re okay, tells you everything’s just fine the way it is; if it offers to improve, benefit or elevate you, or if it suggests that someone else is better or above you; if it’s about belief or faith or worship; if it raises or alters consciousness; if it combats stress or deepens relaxation, or if it’s therapeutic or healing, or if it promises happiness or relief from unhappiness, if it’s about any of these or similar things, then it’s not about waking up. Then it’s about living in the dreamstate, not smashing out of it."

"On the other hand, if it feels like you’re being skinned alive, if it feels like a prolonged evisceration, if you feel your identity unraveling, if it twists you up physically and drains your health and derails your life, if you feel love dying inside you, if it seems like death would be better, then it’s probably the process of awakening. That, or a helluva case of gas."

"Your moments of blackest despair are really your most honest moments—your most lucid moments. That’s when you’re seeing without your protective lenses. That’s when you pull back the curtain and see things as they are."

"Self-realization isn’t about more, it’s about less. The only construction required for awakening is that which facilitates demolition."

"If I were to reduce ... my teachings to their essence, I would say it all comes down to nothing more than this: Think for yourself and figure out what’s true. That’s it. Ask yourself what’s true until you know."

"Spiritual awakening is about discovering what’s true. Anything that’s not about getting to the truth must be discarded. Truth isn’t about knowing things—you already know too much. It’s about un knowing. It’s not about becoming true, it’s about un becoming false so that all that’s left is truth. If you want to become a priest or a lama or a rabbi or a theologian, then there’s a lot to learn—tons and tons. But if you want to figure out what’s true, then it’s a whole different process and the last thing you need is more knowledge."

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The Happy Song

Post by roxybeast » May 16th, 2009, 2:23 am

"Happy"
©2009 Beth Isbell

F Dm C Bb

I like to click to see the numbers change,
Sometimes my fingers google my own name,
I’m such a cynic cause I have my doubts,
You’re always happy, even when you’re soul is running out

I hide sometimes so I don’t feel the pain,
Sometimes I find a bloke who feels the same,
I get my laughs where you find sacrilege,
But your religion’s just a bumper sticker on my fridge!

A Bb
but I still love you ... despite of you!

Dm C G (3x), F G, Bb C/stop
I’m so happy that you’re happy,
Yeah, I can almost feel your pain,
I’m so happy that you’re happy,
But makes me question if you’re sane …
So shut your fucking mouth before I punch your face again!

F Dm C Bb
If I seem mad it’s probably all your fault,
A happy, happy, happy somersault,
Sometimes I part the cloud to fucking fall,
‘Cause I’m a circus freak that sometimes wants to end it all!

My eyes are green, my heart is black,
There’s rotting symbols in my almanac,
No, your happiness is not a sin,
But makes me wonder why your head is up your ass again!

A Bb
but I still love you ... despite of you!

((Dm C G (3x), F G,)) F G (2x) Fstop
I’m so happy that you’re happy,
Yeah, I can almost feel your pain,
I’m so happy that you’re happy,
But makes me question if you’re sane …
I’m glad your life’s so fucking happy,
And you never feel my pain,
I’m so happy that you’re happy,
But makes me question if I’m sane …
So shut your fucking mouth!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Listen to "Happy" - which is the first cut on Beth's new release "Aardvark" ©2009 (6 song solo acoustic indie rock EP): http://www.reverbnation.com/tunepak/1575845

"Aardvark" is now available for download purchase for only $4.99 at:
http://www.mytexasmusic.com/bethisbell/

All individual songs on Aardvark and any of the other songs in any of the listings below are available for purchase as high quality 320kbps mp3 downloads for 99¢ or less at:
http://www.broadjam.com/bethisbell

And to check out the rest of Beth's music catalog, click this link:
http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?t=16212
Last edited by roxybeast on July 3rd, 2009, 10:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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