room for rent

[Doreen Peri]

I saw the For Let sign,
went inside, signed
the contract, interacted
with the landlord during
his interview.

He asked me questions
about my personal life.
Did I have a cat or dog?
Was I somebody's wife?
How late do my kids
stay out at night?

Nosy son of a bitch, I thought.
What gives him the right?

But I paid him first month
and last, moved in and invited
the entire cast from last year's
CATS performance.

We played meeeewsic, danced like
purrrfect devils. It was a helluva
party. Invited the neighbors
so they wouldn't complain.

Landlord took my cash.
I woke up with a headache
and a terrible rash. Somebody
stole my stash but I had a place
to call home.
Better to lease than to own.

Who's gonna clean the champagne
spills on the kitchen tile? Who's gonna
fix the leaky faucet? Glad I paid
a security deposit.

I didn't put your name
on the lease
You're not responsible.
Let's duet again
tonight, please!

2

I thought the landlord
had designs on me
but turns out he
had designs on you.

Watch out!
I heard he rents
rooms for a turn
of a screw.

I'd tell him to take a hike.
but if i do, i'd have no place
to store my tv or my bike.



(2006)

[Doreen Peri]

cracked me up! humorous!
love it!

thank you, doreen

you're welcome.

-doreen