room for rent
Posted: May 23rd, 2008, 12:55 am
I saw the For Let sign,
went inside, signed
the contract, interacted
with the landlord during
his interview.
He asked me questions
about my personal life.
Did I have a cat or dog?
Was I somebody's wife?
How late do my kids
stay out at night?
Nosy son of a bitch, I thought.
What gives him the right?
But I paid him first month
and last, moved in and invited
the entire cast from last year's
CATS performance.
We played meeeewsic, danced like
purrrfect devils. It was a helluva
party. Invited the neighbors
so they wouldn't complain.
Landlord took my cash.
I woke up with a headache
and a terrible rash. Somebody
stole my stash but I had a place
to call home.
Better to lease than to own.
Who's gonna clean the champagne
spills on the kitchen tile? Who's gonna
fix the leaky faucet? Glad I paid
a security deposit.
I didn't put your name
on the lease
You're not responsible.
Let's duet again
tonight, please!
2
I thought the landlord
had designs on me
but turns out he
had designs on you.
Watch out!
I heard he rents
rooms for a turn
of a screw.
I'd tell him to take a hike.
but if i do, i'd have no place
to store my tv or my bike.
(2006)
went inside, signed
the contract, interacted
with the landlord during
his interview.
He asked me questions
about my personal life.
Did I have a cat or dog?
Was I somebody's wife?
How late do my kids
stay out at night?
Nosy son of a bitch, I thought.
What gives him the right?
But I paid him first month
and last, moved in and invited
the entire cast from last year's
CATS performance.
We played meeeewsic, danced like
purrrfect devils. It was a helluva
party. Invited the neighbors
so they wouldn't complain.
Landlord took my cash.
I woke up with a headache
and a terrible rash. Somebody
stole my stash but I had a place
to call home.
Better to lease than to own.
Who's gonna clean the champagne
spills on the kitchen tile? Who's gonna
fix the leaky faucet? Glad I paid
a security deposit.
I didn't put your name
on the lease
You're not responsible.
Let's duet again
tonight, please!
2
I thought the landlord
had designs on me
but turns out he
had designs on you.
Watch out!
I heard he rents
rooms for a turn
of a screw.
I'd tell him to take a hike.
but if i do, i'd have no place
to store my tv or my bike.
(2006)