7 weeks till our due date.....7/4/08

Reality written.
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YABYUM
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7 weeks till our due date.....7/4/08

Post by YABYUM » July 4th, 2008, 11:54 am

My new pet name for you is "stinkbait" dont worry...it's an acronym


been a while since i could find a moment to ramble here at the studio. i am a crazed man these last few weeks closing in on babies due date. besides constant money worry and a serious sense of mortality, all things are fine. money worries and mortality. i have never had either one of these phobias. two years ago i remember a night when i slept in a outhouse and slept sound as a dead man. lately i toss and turn and dream strange dreams about failing as a father, dying, and ex-lusts wanting one last roll in the hay. i truly understand what stress is. when i look back now on where i have been and what i thought was stress at the time, i laugh.

in more ways than i am crazy scared, i am happy in love. i just hate money. i cannot believe i have no choice except to become that guy. that fuckin guy who works his ass off everyday for a paycheck that is comparable to toilet paper sheets. both in what it can buy and what it is best used for. we are behind, we are in debt, we are still keeping each other laughing. i cannot believe i am that guy. that fuckin guy who pays one quarter of his check to benefits i do not need, but just may tomorrow.
i am that guy who loses another quarter to taxes. i have never been a taxpayer. i make a shitty eleven dollars an hour. after all the fuckin bullshit that comes out of my earnings, after hanging on and waiting for each bi-weekly check, i walk away with just under 700 dollars after 80 hours of work. how can a man support a family on this? i waited for my stimulus check, it was really gonna help out with julys rent, instead i got a letter from the irs letting me know that my 600 dollars was confiscated to pay the 643 dollar back tax i owed because of the temporary employment agencys error in my deductions. do i sound bitter?

oh, i shall stop the rant......i could fill pages right now.

baby news.....the nursery is finished. stinkbait did a fantastic job. she has amazing eyes for color. being that her friends and family are on two opposite sides of oregon, baby mama gets two baby showers. the first one was kind of a bust, in my opinion. got lots of diapers, clothes, a diaper genie and thats about it. the second shower is early august. this is gonna be the one daddy is looking to hit yahtzee on. we cannot afford a crib. we still need a stroller. someone bought us shitty car seat the first shower around, but thats returnable. look at me, starting to get ranty again.

today should be rant free. Super Terrific Intelligent New Klemple Bride Amazing Intimate Teamate and I are packing up the cooler and going to the river. Around dusk we'll take our pick-a-nick luch and large blanket to the riverside and set up for an evening of trout fishing and fireworks. hopefully i can catch some trout and fill the freezer with meat.

hope you have a good weekend. stay off the highways. hug your family and dont worry about money. you'll never have enough and you cant spend what you have when you're dead.
http://frombeerstobabies.blogspot.com/

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Dave The Dov
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Post by Dave The Dov » July 10th, 2008, 5:49 am

I await your joy!!!!
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judih
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Post by judih » July 10th, 2008, 6:54 am

climb back from the status quo. Try to stay away from normal stores, 'bargains', modern thought.
You can do it.
i guess you can't compare, cause our kid was born when we lived near fields. i'd gather peanuts from the field to make peanut butter, walk to the health food store to buy soya flour to make tofu. A different time and place.
Living in the city is expensive.

But the father thing? Love your little kid. Use your gut. Spend creative time with the kid - don't have to buy expensive toys - don't fall for that mumbo jumbo stuff.
we spent hours walking - building towers from blocks. we sang and danced. and soon we found other people with little kids so we could keep our conversation at a level other than, 'come on, burp'.

As for the gift of diapers - that's like gold. Great gifts - those things are expensive.
A crib? maybe second hand? i found ours at a store that offered me a great price cause it was a colour no one else liked (forest green) but i loved.
Same with strollers. At one point, we got a new one, but those old fashioned carriages made a great bed till our son was 2 months plus.
(i've got 4 kids - four different experiences).

Let out the tensions. The lust thing is perhaps the trickiest and will need your most zen abilities. But your lovely stinkbait can probably come up with interesting solutions.

You can do this yabyum. If all those billions of people in the world can do it, then you can do it. (this is a very useful mantra - i use it a lot)

-judih

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » July 10th, 2008, 11:10 am

Those benefits you are paying for, I hope it cover's the cost of having a baby now. About how much is that, I mean the doctors and hospital, ten grand?

YABYUM
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....

Post by YABYUM » July 12th, 2008, 10:29 am

judih......thanks for your response. as always your voice is soothing and calm and rational. i have been able to calm my money tensions with a few fishin trips and as of late, i have secured two handyman jobs wich should net us a needed 400 bucks this week.

truck.....thank lifes energy that the baby deliverance is being paid for by a program called oregon health plan. we are poor enough to be accepted by this awesome program that covers all of deneses pre nantal visits, delivery and the baby will have free medical insurance through the state for its first year of life. after that, denese and baby will be on my medical for only 345 bucks out of every bi weekly check. pretty fuckin cheap huh?
http://frombeerstobabies.blogspot.com/

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Arcadia
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Post by Arcadia » July 12th, 2008, 10:44 am

hola stinkbait!!!!!!! :D
good to know that you´re ok!!!. I was terrible nervous & anxious & at the same time terribly happy near my first sobrino birth (& I was only the aunt!!! :lol: )... don´t worry too much about money...: it tends to come and go (as my grandmother used to tell us :wink: )

besos to all of you!,

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » July 13th, 2008, 3:16 am

I wish there was a lobby for young people and parents as powerful as the AARP (american association of retired people)
I have read it is almost as powerful as the Insurance lobby.

I think the young americans are the most endangered species in america.



Those taxes you are paying (fica) are going into my pocket.

I hope you are not losing any sleep over the money, like the senorita said it comes and goes.

Easy for me to say, I got my social security retirement check coming every month. But I expect to get an IOU instead of a check any day now.

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Post by mrs. yabyum » July 13th, 2008, 10:09 pm

watch, next time, ronnie might rant about how his sunburn hurts. I KID, I KID. MY sunburn hurts. i'm a fisherwoman now! therefore, we are a fisherfamily.

all these baby things...i keep forgetting we're getting a baby. i know, i'm the one carting it around & eating for it and everything. guess i'm ready for a change. daddyabyum is ready too, i know it. i can't wait for his nicknames for baby.

judi: it IS expensive in the city. but lucky us, we live in a city of hippies and liberals who invest in public service over public works (often, anyway). we're taking full advantage of all the services we can and i'm always thinking of ways to avoid mainstream baby product mania. yes yes i requested a specific baby bouncer and assorted other crap, but taking care of babies for 4+ years has influenced my choices. you can make your own tofu? i have to try that! thanks for reminding us that we can do it if they can. most helpful!

truck: yes, it would be nice to have a young persons' union. but would ronnie be allowed in? he's pretty old ;) keep telling him to not worry. i think it's working. you get some taxes, so do i. it feels kind of weird receiving so many vital-to-our-family tax-funded services while not working, and having not paid taxes since june of last year (worked off the books as a nanny for 10 months). i figure i'll do my best to give back to the system by teaching our child about how the system REALLY works, how it worked for us, how it works for others, and how it COULD be working. but hopefully by the time our little one is big enough, the system will be better.

daddy: we love you.
http://frombeerstobabies.blogspot.com

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judih
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Post by judih » July 13th, 2008, 11:25 pm

dear denese,
hi.
you can definitely make your own tofu (try Rosalee Hurd's Ten Talents Cookbook for the recipe), but if you live near any sort of ChinaTown, you can probably buy tofu by the cake. When i lived in Toronto, the closest Chinese owned store sold it fresh, stored in a jar filled with water. Hmmm, these days i might be less trusting.

What can you do, men have tons of fears about potential fatherhood. Women do as well, but we have had all those months to figure out that there's no turning back. Physical facts help bring the issue home. My biggest fear was that my man's fears would convince him to spontaneously combust.
Luckily, all his expression of fear helped alleviate the problem and he was sensational at the birth and when i finally agreed that he knew which side of the diaper to use on our daughter, he was fabulous at parenting - specially when it came to wearing the Snugli and walking with her, and later on playing with her.

Are you well into Lamaze classes? Are you squatting and doing your pelvic tilts? Kegels, the ever miraculous Kegels.
Do you have cravings?

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Post by mrs. yabyum » July 17th, 2008, 11:27 am

i'll answer your last question first: yes. now i'm craving tofu. :) i haven't had many typical cravings. i had one week pretty early on wherein i ate only meat and cheese. i've craved a lot of different fruits & vegetables, the seasonal availability of which makes the heat & humidity worth bearing. sugar snap peas...so yummy. my biggest and weirdest (for me) craving has been cottage cheese. i hate cottage cheese. but craved it for 4 days before i actually bought some since i hate it so much. i really enjoyed eating it, having satisfied my ridiculous craving, but as much really still hated the taste and texture and smell and look and name and it was horrible. but i liked it.

there is an asian market around the corner from our house. maybe i'll venture. i read the blog of a woman who travels for her job. she spends most of her time in asia and usually includes weird asian food in her posts. i must check this market out and see what oddities i can find, like all the strange varieties of potato chips my blog buddy writes about.

ronnie has been adjusting to the ever-present situation by referring to me as "mrs. big lady." he has a friend who has a 5-year-old daughter, and when i see him interact with her, i know (and i know that he knows) that everything will be fine. as much as i think worrying is a waste of time, i am glad that he's expressing his worries and fears and what ifs. as long as he's not bottling anything up or hiding anything from me, we're more than fine.

not doing lamaze, no money for that. squats & tilts & small stretches when i feel i need them, but foot soaking & elevating (when i'm not trying to just sit still because each of my muscles aches so much) has taken over most of my time. kegels as often as i can think about them, every few hours or so. my mom has been good to remind me about them every time we talk as well. so i had to explain kegels to ronnie. he even googled it. and doesn't get it. like many other things, he'll get it when it happens. we can only prepare so much.
http://frombeerstobabies.blogspot.com

mtmynd
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Post by mtmynd » July 17th, 2008, 3:02 pm


denese
- reading this thread and you and ron especially, it takes me back as if it was only last month. this period for the both of you will burn into your memory banks more delicately and more clearly than a tattoo.

enjoy the read. keep in touch whenever time and mood join together.

tofu. takes on the flavor of what it's cooked with. easy, simple, healthy. good in soup, too. but you know that... :-P

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judih
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Post by judih » July 17th, 2008, 3:37 pm

oh, i'm a nudnik - i just asked you about lamaze again over at the 'studio 8 dream thread'.
Lamaze is good because it gives you something to do while you're waiting for birth.
You get to see all those other women and their partners. You get to feel one of many bellies, and see other people who don't have a clue what they're getting into. It's nice.
But if you're broke, let me see.
They taught us massage techniques. When it comes down to it, those techniques were useless!
What else? They taught us about focus. To look at one spot. To think of desert islands. All worth little.
I'm convinced that the breathing technique that worked best for me was an inhale the moment a contraction began and exhaling with a five finger count. Each exhale is counted with a finger, final breath a final cleanse. If needed repeat.
Those drumming fingers were the best focus around. And really kept me concentrated on letting the breath help me through the contraction.
Good music is good. For me it was Eric Dolphy playing Magic.
Heavy music was irritating as hell.
Look for music.

Tofu is lovely.
You'd probably love the cottage cheese we have here in Israel - small smooth curd - have never found anything like it in Canada or the States, but that doesn't help you right now.
i was eating strawberries - tons of them and melons. This is such a good season to have a baby. Lots of fruit and good weather.

There was always a heat wave when i was my largest. It's a murphy's law situation. But it was fun to bare my belly in the sun.
And you need to prepare your nipples. Rub them with a towel after your showers. Let them get some sun, as well.

Believe me, this is more than the Lamaze classes taught me.
Try to sit cross-legged as much as possible - it's one of the best exercises.
Your mother sounds wonderful.

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » August 7th, 2008, 11:27 am

Time is coming soon....

How's it going?

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