the rifleman: deluxe box set

This is Constantine's artlog. He posted his poems in his own artlog forum for several years. He named the forum "Constantinople" and described it as "A byzantine journey through life's labyrinth."
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constantine
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the rifleman: deluxe box set

Post by constantine » July 1st, 2012, 12:23 pm

episode one: bam!bam!bam!

take away the rifle
and luke mccain ain't shit
big guy though
son's a twirp
awful purdy
the little faggot
but that's his problem
fuck em both
the sheriff's a candy ass
and north fork's in black and white
kind of creeps me out
now the barber's getting into the act
he's going to get whomped
don't do anything foolish...BAM!
holy shit!
saddle punks take a hard-ass fall
he's good with a rifle - i'll give him that

episode two: the mexican

the rifleman just kicked the mexican's ass!
no surprise there - i dare say
mexican boxers can take a shot
nearly impossible to knockdown or out
but, the rifleman is a serious contender
can't see a mexican taking him down
ain't gonna happen in 1960
in black and white or color
you'd think they'd figure it out
i guess that's why they're mexicans

episode three: town ain't big enough

the rifleman just killed claude aikens!
i had my doubts, but seeing is believing
the rifleman can do the job
i knew he was tough
but he's even tougher than i thought
son's a candy ass though
must of took after his mother
not that it's a bad thing
but in the west - it's somewhat of a liability
perhaps with some degree of behavior modification
he will be able to function normally
within a western-style format
but i wouldn't hold my breath

episode four: something's rotten in north fork

hold my calls - the rifleman's on!
within 10 seconds someone got whacked
within 15, the rifleman gets involved
uncle joe from hooterville is in this one!
mark's petting a horse - he's gay, you know
nothing wrong with that
except they always play sappy music for him
as if to accentuate his gentleness
a sharp contrast to the incessant violence that is north fork
father and son are ranching it up shirtless
must be hot in north fork
luke socked haskins and knocked him down
haskins will not make it through this episode - mark my words
mccain's not looking for trouble - he is merely trying to avoid it
he always says that when he's about to stir up some shit
haskins wanted for three killings in kansas!
anthrax!!! uh-oh
that came out of nowhere
must have happened when i was typing
you can't be turned down because of your health with colonial penn
the rate's locked in - can't be cancelled
guaranteed!
kickin chicken at rally's
cayenne pepper included with purchase
bundle it with time warner
you know you want to - so do it now!
mark looks at sleeping horse
anthrax!!!
ponderous and suspicious musical treatment to underscore potential threat
haskins strong-arms mark
he found the paper!
luke's a-comin up fast!
drop your rifle - real slow
mark sneaks up from behind - a natural tendency no doubt
haskins demands proof on the anthrax deal
horse foaming at mouth
scuffle
mark flips him the rifle
i told you haskins wouldn't make it to the end
we make a good team, son
we make a good team, dad
hokey music playing - mark's crying - again
they hug
let's go son
is your non-stick pan a sticky nightmare?

episode five: big beef with lee van cleef

go rifleman!
kick the cowpunk's ass
don't need scum like that in north fork
get your funky illiterate confederate ass out of town
i think the shit's about to go down
this guy was born out of luck
oof! that's gotta hurt
he's taking mark's horse!
oh shit - i thought the shit was going down
but that was only proto-shit
this is the real caca
ain't no easing up now!
this punk is going down - hard
but first, he's shooting up some booze bottles
never could understand that
what's this?
what a fucking rip!
the punk thought about it and rode away
great - some ending
fuck you rifleman!

the end of the trail: epilogue little dogie

i'm done with lucas mccain
stick a north fork in it
need to ride the high country
maybe mexico or machu pikachu
i said pikachu, son!
search for a new horizon-type deal
boldly go where no man has gone before
wherever the fuck that is
hmm...

(to be continued)
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still.trucking
Posts: 1967
Joined: May 9th, 2009, 12:56 am
Location: Oz or someplace like Kansas

Re: the rifleman: deluxe box set

Post by still.trucking » July 1st, 2012, 5:58 pm

We are poor white trash living out in the boonies, can't afford satellite, our rabbit ears are useless since the FCC sold analog TV out from under us. On a good day we can get a 3 or four channels. All day reruns of The Rifleman everyday. Thanks for the poem dino, you made tv interesting for me again.
"Natural selection, as it has operated in human history, favors not only the clever but the murderous." Barbara Ehrenreich

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Free Rice

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constantine
Posts: 2677
Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am

Re: the rifleman: deluxe box set

Post by constantine » July 2nd, 2012, 8:42 am

great to hear from you - i posted it on the artlog with the hope you might read it and comment. you're a good guy - i wish we could walk around the old neighborhoods and talk.

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zero_hero
Posts: 408
Joined: January 24th, 2010, 12:09 pm
Location: stilltrucking's vanity

Re: the rifleman: deluxe box set

Post by zero_hero » July 7th, 2012, 10:23 am

kafeneion!!!

I would rather talk about poetry but as a loyal fan of your work I will talk about anything you want.

The old neighborhood:
February 3,1959
at the far corner of Patterson Park on eastern Ave at linwood? The Hampstead Hill Jr. high I was exiled to. Where were you the day the music died :wink: :)
I wink & smile because you are too young to have been there that day. But— I forgot you are a poet— you got a liscence to time travel 8)
Last edited by zero_hero on July 7th, 2012, 10:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
Free Rice

"the lesson is... if you want it? keep a copy of it." Doreen Peri

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constantine
Posts: 2677
Joined: March 9th, 2008, 9:45 am

Re: the rifleman: deluxe box set

Post by constantine » July 7th, 2012, 10:31 am

it's still there, but redone - a new facade. still, the students are similar - working-class, mostly latinos. greektown - the same. cities change, but remain the same in many ways.

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