confessional poem #1

[constantine]

i used to suffer from chronic shyness
women were a big deal to me
i'd get nervous and stupid and then
warning alarms would go off in their head
like i was mr. goodbar or some fucking nut
i was a nut, but not a bad nut
a kind and gentle nut
like mr. peanut
only without the monocle
in highlandtown, where
this is and was taking place
you can't even wear a hat
without people gawking like
you just got off the bozo bus
full of pretense - putting on airs
yes, i believe that was the expression
mom would call it having big ideas
which is more of the same
but with a twist that only mothers seem to possess
a gift of prophecy as old as dodona
where priestesses went barefoot
to be in touch with the sacred mom-mom
who was the source of their intuitive power
but i didn't need their intuitive power to know
that a monocle wasn't going to cut it
not in highlandtown or anywhere on the eastside
anyway, women were a big deal to me
but they always seemed to spook me out

[stilltrucking]

nice work
I can relate
extraneous r us
"my fingers turn into thumbs my brain switches off"
an interesting psychological phenomena.