Bandit Notions

[the mingo]

"It surprised me yesterday to find you had my back"

Rebecca at the River - Mohawk Rachelle
[Brautigan Library Edition]

[the mingo]

can it be true? - all this morning I mean but the dog is sleeping right now not giving a shit about the day he is in or if there are homeless folks under the bridge or pawnshops on main street - got no worries bout legitimacy either because if it mattered he would know about it and accept it and eat his food - I know we spoke about the movie and all I asked you was to find a good story - I don't have too many questions ya know anymore - a man with questions is just ducking the business of life ya think? and don't go making that into an unraveling toward some kind of big thought that it isn't - i look around and see we move on because we have to - so much for whatever value some put on free will - there's too much living going all around but folks seem to want to resort to nonsense - sell that buy this - ya know you had a good idea with that oatmeal over the weekend - I'm having some right now & it's good - food is sex but we already covered that ground and you called me a brat at the finish line - I mean it's all sex from the declaration of independence to the flag or the west coast - living is hard anywhere but you can still preach in the parking lots I know because I've done it hell I've even done it from the seat of a bicycle - ha! you didn't see that coming now did ya? Got ya! Did ya get to your steak & mushrooms? Ya see I know that movie got your imagination moving all around giving you no peace so you went straight for the food - what'd I say now? Mz. Blanket-Movie-Day... yeah that oatmeal was good and now I got kind of a warm inside from it and I'm right about everything else too.

Watching a Movie about a Book - Sally "Dream Road" Castor
[Brautigan Library Edition]

[creativesoul]

you know that clarity came to me once- and then well- i had to let it go- i started to think i was 'somebody' and being a lil less noticable these days works for me- with blankets and tv and movies- all in my dreams like the scent of love- a sweetness wafts from the secrets of my heart- and i am far too content for oatmeal today- it has french toast written all over it- that sweet taste of honey rolling on down the throat- and no tobacco- yes- it is a miracle- i thought i was humphrey bogarts woman and i could lean againest that GARBO wall and he would saunter up and light my stogie- but as time went on- i knew that - it wasnt working for me anymore-that depression seemed to wait in the smoke- like a hunter waiting to make the kill-

inside me- like a whale of a dream - candle in my stomach -fisherman staring at the blubber- and all that---- but the girls and i made candles and tried to find a purpose for those bones-
the carvings of ships and fingertips of quiet intention- an old man that has to leave a sign that he was ever there at all-
she cooks quietly in the kitchen and in the bedroom she is hot as peppers-i tried to lie about where i was- but the truth just came rolling out of my mouth again-

as it will- truth seems to have its way with me= even today when i go to the bank for my measly dollars- i will be the queen of the home made tortilla chip- and i will walk the asiles of the discount market - and find the treasures of cooking- zuccini grows quietly awaiting a stew or soup to become- maybe i will hide in the smells of the kitchen-

[the mingo]

More food ? - see?, more food talk & ya know what I've already said 'bout that right there - loved the metaphoric distance traveled between peppers & bedroom - land is land & ocean is ocean & that's all they should be but none of us was born with the capacity to leave anything alone - all hail food sex! I mean I cut up raw cauliflower throw it in a bowl then add cherry tomatoes, shredded carrots. Then I pour on the salad dressing - on top of that I add shredded cheese - four kinds - & bacon bits. Then I take my fork and penetrate all those many layers - all the way down to the cauliflower & spear a piece & if lucky hook a tomato with it bring it up to the surface - it passes thru the salad dressing with everything that's riding that - the cheese the bacon bits - can ya see it? Everything sticks to everything & I bring it to my lips and put it on my tongue and close my mouth over it and ...

yum yum

[the mingo]

"Be that as it may ..." - this phrase is one of many stock phrases that bother me in a sort of sidereal way - I mean what the hell is it supposed to mean exactly? Where does it come from? Why is it hanging around? & is it pertinent to ask questions such as these about things such as this? Most I ever thought about it was that it was an outright stall or some elitist way to draw attention to oneself -

anyways, be that as it may ...

9;53 in the morning I just got ... well it's a wheel right? I'm not going along for that ride, at least - man invented the wheel for transportation & other kinds of work - he did not invent it for philosophy be it that of hunter-gatherers or for the barbarities that pass these days under the rubric of "civilization". Ya know what the trouble with perfection is? You can still find fault in it.

I've already had my zen breakfast but I don't have to wash my bowl like ol' Joshu said to because it's a paper plate & all I have to do is throw it out.

Yesterday a woman asked me what I was vaping. I said, " I'm keeping it simple & straight tonight, Doll, a no nonsense rig with 3.0 ohm carto filled with Honeywood Tobacco riding an outlaw battery stack at 6 volts. A clean machine & a mellow vape." She said "O! I just love to hear you speak that lingo - it makes me hot!" I smiled at that. 24 hours later I'm remembering the moment and I'm smiling again. Men are so transparent. By the time any guys get to Mars they will be well nigh invisible.

[the mingo]

we all happen
then pass -

whack doodles separate brain from brain - dogs sleep beneath shade - more fully developed strange daughters occultly tinged mechanicals the written substrance trickles from the brain - what's next? the roots? this shit is highly portable to create hell you can set up camp anywhere in the news & begin right off to count bird parts that get screamed the little ones showing promise but then dying suddenly from the least lack of water - i've always found ruins to be well placed & fertile - hard to believe the mandatory celebration but if you don't go you'll lose your sport -

ps - if you go to wondering about those with so many teeth you could black & white the shoot for effect - are you kidding? It's because she has all that hair ya know & the drums in the background keep coming in then going away - she looks up at the stars before going to work & buys lampshades that don't fit

it's overwhelming that is

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRD0ghlFSgk

whop whop wha !

[creativesoul]

THERE WAS a ceramics teacher that was real interested in ona-gama firing- it is a no glaze ten day process- the crew has a 'bank' of various woods-of which the ash creates the amazing color of an ona-gama piece- every kind of wood there ever was- in nice neat lil shelves and piles- up near youngs river falls- he had blue teeth because- well- sometimes we do that- like hair of a different color every time the moon wanes or waxes-so we have moved from color from fire and wood- and now i think of that long tubular kiln and the heat-and color of the soul that tends that fire in shifts for ten days- a variable crew- bringing food and wine and laughter to THE SPIRIT OF FIRE-= WHILE THE ELEMENTS PREPARE FOR SURPRISES IN CREATIVITY--- so many things are like that-
fire - carries so many things to spirit- once i wanted to be a 'dirty girl' for ever- with clay under my nails and dust on my feet = tracked in to the mexcian pavers house-
but those wrists of mine were as it turns out-= fragile- i can no longer twist my wrist to the left with a hollywood wave- seems that all the hollywood wave is all dried up in there and filled with pain-i keep my pain in little decorative boxes- i tried to kill myself far too many times- and then i found out we dont die- that i best be taking care of the body- s

they are admired by friends- clay seemed to pull out anything negative i had inside me-now i have resorted to water- swimming and dream time- i am writing long after there is no more gas because some lady on 'writer s room' said write = something -anything- even if it is trash- just keep writIng- as usual i only heard that-PTSD- WHAT THE FUCK EVER-
but the man that talks to the clay- to the earth- the teacher- he seemed to bring all those elements into harmony in such a beautiful way-
'walk in beauty'

[the mingo]

i liked that Jana - thank you

[creativesoul]

clearly i am so not in control- the words come out thru the fingertips on a hot computer with reggae coming thru the spotify app- or the madame butterfly- at any rate- i love the whole process- it just brings the refreshment of the best cold water ever- going down that channel- every cell is rejuvenated- maybe i dont write it down the way it should be done- in my mind- but it is clear- that this stuff needs to be written- i offer my hands and spirit to get it down and out- maybe james brown for that- 'i feel good' and the tibetian bowls for healing- all of this brings words to the table- it is like etheric- because i cannot feel the thoughts coming- they are like a circulation of energy and letter s and things i wanted to say but never did- things i wanted to hear but did not- and i can only be thankful- for the driven- for the mania - for the whole deal- because i get to be HERE- with the whole hot mess= and it feels good- if i can bring joy and a some good things your way = great! but it is purely flowing out- like gold - like the sweetness i always wanted but never knew i had RIGHT HERE =to give to love to share- it is truly a gift- thank you for being a part of this= process---

[the mingo]

and i can only be thankful- for the driven- for the mania - for the whole deal- because i get to be HERE- with the whole hot mess

yeah I know, ain't it cool ?

Bust a line, lass - hell yeah, Mongolia! Drives me nuts too but I have fun.

[creativesoul]

funny things happened =again- where your nose starts to twitch and some native women told me i was 'going to kiss a fool' i guess they were right.
why - ? =AH HAH - burst of energy AND A SMILE ESCAPE =============================================LACY ======SAID' oh yeah '
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU... YA KNOW THAT GUY that guy with the mullet that liked to wear women s clothes?
he died.he had a heart attack'
i saw his sister in town- she said-'she is the last mohician'
biker chick' are you surprised?'
'not really'


she looks out the window raining oregon gray and green

i wish that his soul be filled with light





SHE THOUGHT ABOUT HIS MOTHER- HIM- WHY COULDNT SHE LOVE A MAN WITH A MOTHER LIKE THAT?
SHE SAID- 'SHE DRANK BEER IN BLACK TIGHTS IN A TRAILOR AND KILLED MOLES FOR GOING IN HER STUPID GARDEN''
he was a sad man- WHEN HE BEAT HER HEAD ON THE LAWN- SHE TOLD HIM- 'TAKE THE MERCEDES AND GO'
HE DID AND THAT WITCH FROM KATHLAMET THAT LIVED IN THE SPOOKY HOUSE- CALLING ABOUT THAT-






stunned
long wierd silience


SO MANY TIMES LOOKING AT SUITCASES-WAITING IN AIRPORTS
' suitcase will not zip- PLEASE SIT ON IT WILL YOU?
'PLEASE HELP ME' looks at sky implying someone is there,
then she thought for a minute

that that cowboy actor dude that says he is her father called ' hi sugar'
hey poppy

whats up?
did you read my book?
lying 'yes'

tired -gotta go poppy- love u





the mother and father unit- relationships-
the never ending saga of love and addiction



why does all that stuff mix up with the father-
?

dreams =
of a time when i could sleep
dreams of a time when the warmth of a human were a comfort instead of an asshole that keeps waking you up at night


TODAY WRITING IS LIKE A BUNCH OF COOKIE DOUGH AND COOKIE CUTTERS- I AM TRYING TO MAKE THEM PERFECT TREES OR stars- but they start to look like another thing altogether to me= then i want to paint- do anything but what i am doing- the joys of being a child - all aglow and stupid on the high that there really is a God - and that i am his pal-
i can not help the thin skinned addict recovering here on the farm after one month or so- it is much like the movie the exorist - SEEMS LIKE THE ONLY THING THEY DO NOT DO is twist thier head around on the neck and power vomit green shit=helping addicts get clean- because they seem so helpless- so pathetic------- but they are working you- to see what you will do for them- and maybe that isnt much for too long because it is a stretch even being that close to someone that is that fried-Apparently - i am ok at doing this- but i get sucked dry because there really isnt much but a glimmer of hope on the slimy skin gray- no color in the eyes- but that color comes back- slowly- and that short fused temper - yeah that is not so fun- i learned the phrase' i am not doing this with you'
the conversation- where they tell you how valued they are- and well- etc and all the things that are wrong with them which is why they cannot function as others do-
if you have a 'mommy bone' HIDE IT
THEY WILL KEEP LOOKING FOR IT
COMMON PHRASE HERE IS' IT IS RAINING, I AM NOT GOING OVER THERE'

[WIREMAN]

Bandit notions
Explosions of soul
Sliding keys de jellyroll
Morton sactified
Butterfly notions
Splattered with moth eaten
Combustions lost in candle flames
Future riding down American roads
Back, backwoods ramblers
River jumpers
Creek hoppers
No confusions
Color blue
Writing spontaneous bop prose
Of, by, and for strife
In the land of splice
That will continue when we are gone......

[creativesoul]

Right - rain- reasonable--rich round- remember-
Simply- not forgetting-
Quickly-
Avoiding
Touch
Love and empathy
Maybe
Trusted angel wings - -
Traded in- for hocked jewels
Where the past was frozen in the stones
Water cleansed its facets
Slender fingers fling that energy to the sky
You will see the shining inside me
No reason
Rain ribbons fish nets gloves
Long rain
Kindness is what brings love to the door
Damaged and sad
He watched from very far away
Bare and unable to generate
That which had abandoned him
Long before she left him
She laughed
"
Not doing this"
No time for this- got people to see
Places to go
Just listen he said" no"
Words that sound good
Don't always carry the truth
Singing songs of sixpence
Pocket full of
Dreams
I remember
Roads that lead to
NOW
All those dances
Under the skin

[creativesoul]

After two days - she took a shower- depression was so funny- like a neighbor that likes you a bit too much- - and annoys you long enough to visit a house in Palm Springs in my mind while listening. And - while waiting for some sense of - " yeah baby " to kick in- the shower was banging - the hot water. Just did it- steam. Clean ravaged by incomplete ideas -, random inclinations to really be a millionaire- mrs money - would I be the philanthropist donating $ money and art scloarships or would I have boots made in Milan and go visit the father of my children- and the grandma- I cleaned the house and checked the date on my passport- so - I smoke the room- I dry the herb- I smoke the fuck - ing Medco - I am not depressed- now I'm fucking paranoid and I smell like a skunk and acting stupid on top of that- this isn't going to work-. Medicine only goes as far as it goes- I went from serious pain medication and - anti - depressants- 3 a day mood this and that- I had a drop those rocks and work out like a monkey- and today I am not hovering over an ashtray talking about myself with the other side begging to be happy again-- we'll this is it. ! Make it good! Make it better- cuz it will not happen if I do not fix this-- then comes the day when I had to say " i give" I can not - DO-it your way- this is my life- ok so - why is it a secret. Popular opinion is I am a cracker- well - maybe I am a ritz- maybe a saltine- maybe it is a perspective - and I gotta go-go where I am best received - as I have zero tolerance for some folk- I try to see diverse perspectives- but I am stuck in certain areas- really- the phone rings- in all honesty- i want to build a treehouse and I have the spot- tree trimmer already came- I need my - equity and my lawyer needs a filing fee of 505$ donatitions accepted! Lol

[the mingo]

Wow people popped in while I was out - missed all the action - ding-dong tick-tock - I could use some fat sneakers - hell I just enjoy things today 'cuz no tellin' if any of it will be around tomorrow - all of existence is funny that way - the angels show up they all be wearing blue suede sneakers what ya wanna bet? Hey Mark thx for dropping by - Jana you're writing your ass off - rode twenty miles today on bicycles all in the task of fixing the brakes on a jeep -

interesting day - beat puppy here - goin' to bed ...