Bandit Notions

[creativesoul]

every time i listen to the song 'cant hide love' by earth wind and fire- i think of being seventeen and that cajun man that sauntered into my lil 17 year old life-those green eyes- and that skin- that perfectly buff body only a drummer can have= sizzle and pop- he had a laugh i can still hear- like an explosion with a slight giggle-and he could dance- he could shake and bump and play music all night long-and he loved me-


i had some ideas about these things- and he was going to do whatever he did no matter what-

but i saw a picture of him playing drums at lake tahoe and whoa- he still looks like that to me-
yeah - i think i might have to take a lil trip to reno nevada-

they got pauite and horses there- wild and all that you can see -did this 'healing chakras video- wow- looks like im not dead yet- i worked out today and started feeling that white light again- like floating and happy stuff-i like this LIFE GIG- peace

[creativesoul]

there is a ferry boat that crosses the columbia river at west port- one of those towns that has a mini -mart and a few gas pumps and a trailor park- a long time ago there was a real town there- back in the lumber and fishing times-there is an island out there- it has a bridge to it on one side- and the ferry to the other-it is a remote place- that seems soggy in many ways-people that have lived 'wet' have a different perspective- they do things all the time- and kind of have a hard time ='doing nothing' they fish, farm, grow amazing flowers and make jams and and cook amazing foods= can tuna- the finish people stayed off to themselves and the swedish and norweigans are freindly- but this has been their town a very long time-and hippies, indians and bikers- well- anyways that is quite another story- but this ferry boat is kind of a novelty-you can take the ferry just to feel the wind in your face- and to take your car for a ride-kind of returning- the favor- i am convinced that my dog is a reincarnated football player-when he is going for that frisbee- even with his lil cast on- he leaps into the air- and - he kind of looks so happy- he has gotten a lil assertive with that cast-whacking me in the shin to throw the frisbee- he is not stupid- by any stretch-
the farm junkyard dog is slowly returning to life- took him to the diabilities offce- i said' i have someone that needs disability' she gave me the look of the all knowing goverment worker- '[you are not an employee here.]
i said 'he is waitng down the hall- can i go get him'/
she flinched-[ i like that in goverment workers- it proves they are human-]
i brought him in and her 'government worker insider look of total disbelief as worth all the tea in china-he was in there 'working the room'
he will have disabilities in no time flat
trust me
it is really too bad that getting him there- was a serious acid trip from 1962- when we stole my friend s dads LSD -[he was a shrink] TOOK THOSE HORSES UNDER THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN and saw angels and - other hippies-
but getting him there is much like trying to communicate with the aliens- but i am part alien- so i know what it feels like- empathic voyages in healing- and how that looks in various colors and textures- to you- is never going to be what i see- and oi didnt want to see the world your way- glimpses maybe- but no- this lifetime i am sure that having water, shelter and a car- and a place to sleep = is really fucking good- everything else is icing on the cake-a close friend says' if i hear the alarm, i know i am not dead'
i feel fortunate- some how- and you all make my imagination trigger happy
anyways -i am going out to that island to see some eagles- and that wind on my face is sounding pretty fine- after all the rain- i just want air-

[creativesoul]

i never was too good at this climate ; discussions of the weather and the like-but there is something very nice- like the fireflies - and the light or lack there of- the darkness also has a certain comfort- my eyes get a chance to rest- as well- as the rest of me- nice hearing from u

[creativesoul]

i worked out so hard yesterday- dang- loving the life i lead- however mundane in the world we live in- i didnt wake up with any drive to save the world- but i washed my hair- shaved my legs nd the sun is peeking out- thankful for the little things- love stopping by

[the mingo]

sorry been busy with my own mundanes - autumn is on it's game here - the scent of it is everywhere even into the house - that sweet edged scent of the passing of things - there is much poetry to be found in weather patterns - and there are some things that if you mention their names you corrupt their magic - I once kept (or tried to) a pair of canvas sneakers, you know the kind they used to make, because I had worn them into and through a summer that had been magical from beginning to end - I may have been about 13 or so - they were magical sneakers - I do not know where they are today & I don't know what happened to them - I don't know what happened to 13 either - or 25 or 31 or 44 or 58 or 60 - those sneakers did open my eyes onto something that has never changed all my life and so I call that truth - that there is nothing here we can hold on to - not nothing - we compensate for this or mask the fact I should say by saying to ourselves and to each other, "we have our memories" - but that's about as far from the truth as a hawk is from the moon - but I see I'm getting on a roll here ... anyways I studied that pic you sent and by studied I mean I let it sink into awareness - there is much poetry in the shot - it seems misty ya know & then there is the house the motorcycles the people in the midst of activity - a real moment brought to a stillness - a living moment brought to a fossil state - I see a gathering of tribes
but that's just the romantic in me

[creativesoul]

In the ladies gym locker room- it is fall in here too! I just found my true form in here- now I am a beautiful woman- when I walked in- I dunno- was in the dentist chair earlier- now I see the romance - of today- later gators

[the mingo]

I've never been sure
if any given moment
was a time for scattering stones
or gathering them together
I look within & find I am filled
with the rustle of falling leaves

[the mingo]

Fascists - 1
Schizophrenics - 0

[creativesoul]

there is a trail that leads to the napali that is 12 miles long- it is an isolated spot-below you on the trail is dolphins and water as far as you can see- that color of the water has been a healing thing for me- the vastness of nature - spread out below you- then at moon rock- as you decsend in to kalalau valley= is when your body really sings- it all made sense to me that day-
the scattering of stones or the gathering-the government is shut down- maybe you all are just fired- the spirit world rules us anyway- when we are willing to listen- ah but i think of that remote beautiful place- where nature is the ruling reign- and humans are passing what is great and will be long after - the united states government - which if you know history- was stolen from first the native anerican community-then the hawaiin islands were bamboozeled queen lilio kalanai= where she was held hostage in her palace until she signed over the ANNEX of hawaii= there is no annex in the valley- it is about fishing- and taking care of what is such a blessing- ===
queen emma was an avid hiker and pele- she is the spicy hot and sizzle passionate lady= and then there is the hula- the drums the dancing- if you listen you can hear it

[the mingo]

for this evening I'm just gonna drink my Earl Grey and go to bed - outside in the rain the beasts roam and make noises like ya wouldn't believe a living thing could

[creativesoul]

Jasmine blossom here- but the coffee maker is ready for morning duty- my saga of not sleeping is like a pitcher getting warmed up for a game- I have to be anything I need to be quick - when that morning light hits- my friend And I have been up making sounds - happily I watch as she stayed focused on cooking a roast for the crew coming tommorow- I am like a tea kettle with my whistle blwing and she doesn't seem to mind- she has heard it before- makes tea with my water- honey and comfort relieve the tension- all is quiet now at turtle paw farm- I want to go to cordon blu and major in pastries- that is commitment-I wll not let them go- I workout harder- for them-
I loved working at roadrunner bakery - mango Danish- oh yeah- I can smell that all day- mmmmm

[the mingo]

hell yeah I've thought of working at a bakery too - i wanna make bread - tons of all kinds of bread - i love breads - sure do the sweet stuff too but I would love to come up with my own bread & then too making a pie crust like no one has ever had - making myself hungry now

[creativesoul]

the usual crew here- i get to watch couples in action- funny huh? like what they got is so groovy- sorry - i have vague thoughts about co-habitaion- i think it is highly over rated- although at times even yummy- but i am the kitchen chick- but today- i dunno- if that is what i wanna do- but the baking thing- in the quiet early morning hours- how ya can inhale that light fluffy warm babana bread- yep- blanna bread- ask a two year old- just taste it=smile

i am really ok letting go- this new moon of old ideas and feelings- that what the new agers say- that the NEW moon is for creating what you want------------
or need- whatever you need- like an artists space= a yurt- a treehouse- and some frenz to share it with- but the warmth of the fire- is quite different than that of the sun and the salt water in kauai- which the first frost is here now- and i have to pick all the squash and put it in the basement for the winter-after wrapping it in newspaper - which i will do after the buffalo ceremony-

[the mingo]

rode my ass off today - first into town then around town then down by the lake & along the river then up to the neighborhood where the first school I ever went to is located - ran into some memories up there - maybe they were waiting for me - maybe I wasn't the only one ridin' the streets - hell, maybe I'll live long enough to forget everything -

[creativesoul]

somehow- when i pass to the other camp- i have learned that without the body - i will not need to carry any crap- it is amazing what i think i need when i am traveling- what i think i need- =it was a hot day today- i was melting in ceremony- i thought i was going to pass out- there is a woman i cannot stand- she - is an attention seeking wench- that will find a way to be the little indian girl with wisdom- except she is huge- and i hide my food in my room when her and her children are visiting- i cannot - deal with her- she targets me- and she has a face like a goldfish and she is 300 pounds-she cleaned out my baking goods the last time she was here-
all this community love has me running for the door- lets do the ceremony- pray- and move on-
i am not sure why she does not like me- but she could find fault with me-if i had a halo and wings= at any rate- now - i am all wound up- as usual- thinking- what i did? i took a photo= i asked permisson- i posted it- and this woman will not let a sleeping dog lie- harassment- geez-i have been around 'photos steal the soul' people before- but this woman uses native american tradition to serve her own purposes- to make herself look like s good suffering wonderful wife=and she is always talking about her feelings- - i have started to say ' here we go' every time she starts sharing in the center of the circle her' teachings' usually directed at whomever for 'dishonoring her family' oh my God if she says that one more time= 'i made it with my own two hands-'-------if it isnt her wedding in the middle of sun dance or - controling the kitchen badly- it fucking goes on and on-reminds me of- that old tv commerical- 'HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A NICE HAWAIIAN PUNCH'?- but i find the whole thing depressing- i am even beginning to suspect thst it is not good for my health for me to be around people like that- in fact i go to extremes not to communicate with people- off to myself-i am finally getting tired- was thinking this was better than paying a shrink- not sure if it would have worked if i set out to do this-having to keep my distance because of the law suit- and all that- but i may not be penniless when all is said and done- i assume i might even get a massage