Cancer lady, firstly

[SadLuckDame]

I'd gone to sleep angry last night on migraine and a wine induction.
What creepy dreams when a frown drives the eyes closed.

But, then this A.M. I'd awoken very happy, at a peace and quiet essence.

I miss the dame, Jack, she's been gone too long.

I wonder what she'd be like if I were to allow another.

[stilltrucking]

'The First Love is the True Love and One Only Loves Once.' Kierkegaard

[SadLuckDame]

I thought you were talking about one thing, but then I found this book on it. It is true, prolly, as newly acquiring the emotion of seeking love as a young lady, I believe I'd already had in mind what that would be like or what to search for, so it must develop in adolescence but not be made aware until the first heart bleat for someone. Except all the falters in between to find it actually echoed out there the way it was trapped inside before blossoming.

Prolly I'm not making sense to anyone but myself.

http://www.re-press.org/content/view/62/38/

[stilltrucking]

what is the authority of the comic

I never know Dame, I just open a text box and come at you from where I am at this moment in time. It is the spontaniety of Zen that interests me most. It sure helps if you have had a fine education that laid the foundation of English grammar and syntax in your mind. I am a language criminal.

I have the feeling that sometimes I make too much sense to myself.
Watched a video about Gary Snyder, he went to Japan to study Zen, they held him by his feet over a cliff and said "tell the truth or we will drop you"

I am hanging upside down from a wooden pallet over a vat of boiling sulfuric acid. One lie and I am gone.

[stilltrucking]

I thought of a story, let me see how true I can make it.

Call it The Blond In The PeterBilt.

She was pretty, with points of her own way up high. I could never figure out how she could make them jiggle while standing still. She needed help sliding her filth wheel. Why shouldn't a woman trade on her looks. It is a man's world. A woman has to do what she does.

As far as I can get with it now. Be back later.

[SadLuckDame]

Oh! There's more to this story, if I recall correctly.
Did you fix her up good and give her a go?

[stilltrucking]

such a small woman with such a big truck

always more, I got no intimacies to remember after 30 years,

just brief passing encounters with strangers

the whole scene past in less than a minute

but I remember her smile

and the glint in her eyes

[SadLuckDame]

The way she'd beckoned you to her.
I'm glad you were there to fix her truck and so she wasn't left alone with out it to get her anywhere.

[stilltrucking]

I did not fix her truck. I am a latent homosexual.

She was not alone.. That truck stop was full of men, better men for her purpose than me.


But no doubt about it she had the biggest truck in town.

Don't the sunrise look so pretty
Never such a sight
Like a rollin' into New York City
With the skylight in the morning light
Roll right through the night
I said roll

[SadLuckDame]

You're fooling me and I knows it.
I'll hunt it down, I know the story different than that. ripple and a razz he's got two cats and nothing likely to do but watch em go two and fro, like that, like that. Meow...he encourages them, go kitty go and find me a mouse with oyster claws, ask the siren and she'll know.

[stilltrucking]

I think many men are latent homosexuals, I know I am, or at least bisexual. But I made a choice to be heterosexual. So yes I am joking kind of. I believe in the bell curve even if it is a reification, I believe in individual variation. i believe each of us is absolutely unique just like Margarete Meade. I believe consenting adults have the right to fuck each other's brains out in any combination or permutation of the sexes.


we are all born "polymorphismly perverse"
a six month old baby don't know straight from gay
his whole body is a pleasure zone.
Sorry for the Freudian shit

the mouse with the oyster claws

[SadLuckDame]

Hmm homosexual, heterosexual, indifferent, undoing and denying, falsifying, going public or matronly, married, single, singled out, rejected, overly included by way of too many, with fruit on top, with man on top, woman on top, two men top to top, two women inbetween, overly sensitive, not enough aroused, in the rain, on a train, in the back...oh Jack...

Anyway, I don't mind homosexual, bi-sexual, or heterosexual and my friends are anything and often I don't even ask unless drunk and they're making suggestive remarks across my lap... then I might say something like, "Weren't you with Charlie last night? And don't you know I'm not interested?"

Only time it concerns me about connecting adults is when I'm the one in the act and with whom I'm acting it out with is the best math.

I was referring to something other I think, I don't know. I feel very loopy today and strange.



But, Jack doesn't matter how much I love the outdoors or gardens, etc. cause

[stilltrucking]

I went off on a track thinking about Cecil's Sunday Stream, on homosexuality. Why so many men become so defensive about homosexuality. Doesn't matter to me. I have had only one homosexual encounter when I was still a child. He had this really great electric train layout, it was christmas and I wanted to play with his trains. It was a repressed memory for many years. Then twenty years later I was smoking opiated hashish one night and it came back like a voice saying "Oh god I am gay" and then I thought maybe so but I don't want to be.

I think I just prefer the opposite sex as my other because they are so strange to me.

But that bell curve, different strokes for different folks. The physiology of gender is not so clear cut in some, there have always been gay people they are as natural as any other people. Sexual orientation not an issue for me. I follow my own inclinations. And I respect anyone who is living a life of their own hetero or homo. I have heard that finding your way, living a life of your own is like finding the holy grail.

Taxes driving me crazy, I am doing them for four people. I get frustrated and sneak away to studio eight for a breather.
cause "sometimes I just like to breathe" izeveryboyin's tagline, I likes it a lot.

I think adults should let the children be, let them find their own way.

[SadLuckDame]

I did read it, the thing about the news is that all day is tough to swallow and it gets me emotionally down, sometimes too tough to get spirits back up. I just don't handle very hard to handle things well unless I try to picture the whole world sinister and evil, than and only then can I go about picking flowers. Seems strange, the crowd thing, the no face no name, I don't know but somehow it helps in order to live here in this type of world.

That aside I do let sink in my friends, I do and cause it's who they are and where they've been which helps a connection and then makes me want to reach out with the love.

I'm one of the strange women, Jack, I'm strange.
I've seen a lot maybe sexually, what to compare it to...

That's not going to make you 'gay', a person chooses to be and keeps with it as a life-style choice, same for straight and bi. Wish I could pass my thoughts through the air.

Anyway, I'm making a choice to not even get some for time being so I guess I could still say I'm heterosexual, although momentarily ownsome, in the past I've kissed a girl if too much whiskey...

And if adults mess with the kids I think I begin entertaining thoughts of murder. It hits very close to home, not happened to me, but to those I love.

[stilltrucking]

I wandered and rambled all over Steve Ploncks thread about Dupont Circle. About the time Back in the seventies when I was a "nature boy" walking barefoot on the streets of broken glass back in Washington D.C. in the seventies when I was strange.