I am tripping more than you are. Battling razzberries

[the mingo]

[SadLuckDame]

Me too, mingo.
It felt like the Universe fish folded her arms and turned her back in a 'I'm not answering you, swished her tail...I'm not here, shut her bubble eyes...I'm resting go away! etc." She was telling me she'd already given me those answers and I just had to stop stomping my feet and dig within. What a brat she can be! But, I finally did something about it. I feel great.

I feel great,
until next time I forget in the moment

[SadLuckDame]

It was fun while it lasted.
I mean it's great that I've discovered I'm nobody special,
the psychics say we achieve something when we find we are only to be ordinary.
And I'm only that ordinary girl. So at least I know it now and they'd say I'd made a discovery I was intended to.
Bye Bye Butterfly, isn't that pretty?

[stilltrucking]

I used to think I was the most paranoid person on studio eight.

[stilltrucking]

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[SadLuckDame]

Ha! I come across very grand dame, but the true story is I'm just full of bad qualities. I don't want to tell you most of the time cause then you might go away. But, yes, I can get a little paranoid, too.
I'm not as strong as you are yet, I need to embrace that character in my head, I just haven't quite found her. She'd be in a drinking contest with some boy in her head, if she's there.

[SadLuckDame]

I said the other day that you are pretending I don't exist.

Anyway, somebody smarter than me said one time that the world is real by how the person perceives it, not by fact, but by perception.

[SadLuckDame]

Which to me means, if you don't think I exist, then I might not exist
But, the opposite, too. If you believe in me, then I'm just what you believe me to be. Make me good, Jack. Make me something I'll really likes. I believe in you.

[SadLuckDame]

Kicking into indifferent, swept up in photoshop play.
Here's my latest. Was experimenting to get a good shoot with a babydoll shirt, but also wanted to play in my Grandmother's mirror. (this isn't the 3-section one obviously ). It's a mirror from her dresser top she'd kept jewelry, lipsticks, and powders on.

I painted yellow yesterday, and today this.
I hit an artistic mood.

Oh! almost forgot my Dad's marbles, must be from the fifties...not sure, but I truly liked the coal soot on them, leaving circle coal outlines on the box.




This is my poetry today.
It's got the beginning and ending.
Always about some dumb ordinary girl, but she pretends to be more Alice, and then she starts to believe for whole days. Anyway, enjoy, it's my treat, step through the looking glass.











My favorite tool from photoshop is the photo lens flare.
I swear it's like adding it is like adding an angel in my pictures. Love it!

[jimboloco]

you know i remember someone telling me that i was just average
i always knew i was never ordinary wow you are lucky
i don't think i am average or ordinary nor are you i think
who would have an aesthetic eye for bending normal shadows
into reflections of the experience of introspection?
we all got that around here so that means between cups of everyday
moments of meaning ask to be lived walking the path of the unknown
into the goddess in you and in the animus of every sensitive male
i am running on empty just a tip o the brim is all i got for now
moron this later just embrace yourself completely and a pat on the back from me

[SadLuckDame]

Hi Jimbo, thanks for the good push.
You're no ordinary, but then that's not what most will say anymore. It'll become this centuries rarest communicator. It's funny coming aware of this society of 'we're all one and nobody's different', 'one is all'.

Talk about a hard adjustment for me to adapt within, 'cause I was growing up on Jesus and my Grandma's saying individualism. I don't know sometimes except to push too. I want individual, noway, nor no-how do I want to be a big pile of oneness. Must be I came into a lot of ego at a young age, what with the clouds on my finger nails my Nana would point out, and those sort of superstitions.

I guess if I gotta be ordinary in society, then to balance it out I'll bend the whole wide world apart, breaking through whatever boundaries are applied and come out of the dark into my light in whatever shape and forms I must. Then, I can say, there I am.
Dosed up, if must, when it's all perception to me
and to draw a captive audience into perceiving it like a magic trick, or witchery. Might mean I'm pretty rough around the edges in a modern society.

[SadLuckDame]

Sorry Jimbo, I'm planning to work on this thought process better, and 'flesh' it out, but ended up being a trigger day. I gots loads of jabber talking on the inside with this, and a few notes.

This first thoughts stuff, like the suicide rate might be up if Joe thinks he's just another Tom, Dick and Harry or how Jane will screw any guy that makes a flash on his cellphone cam, just cause why not? What's to live up too and all that sort of girls going on stuff in my head.

I'll figure it all out, but in the meantime, I just decided to bend up the whole world with a dame, since she was tired of my not reacting.
Along those lines.

Obviously she's immature and still playing dress-up
and so I'd indulged her for the day. She was going through me like whiskey shots. So I found a subdued ordinary one and gave the dame her way, her and her damn voice. I shouldn't encourage her along, but I was too indifferent to make a good argument.

It might be about fashion, too.

[SadLuckDame]

On getting asked out,


I can't begin to explain the me of things, or attempt
and it just seems such a shallow way of relating,
nor can I even eat ice-cream, when they say we can go get ice-cream and I've all these mentalities, and I'm too big on the inside to get involved explaining to a face to face encounter like that.

Oh! talk about the uncomfortable me when all my terrible internals surface...reality not as easy relating in, or communicating with as writing is.

[SadLuckDame]

The truth, I'm too vain too.
It sounds like a weird thing for me to say, cause at the same moment I can think of all my terrible qualities, but even with them loudly and wildly going about my head trying to distract me, I know I'm still too vain.

Vanity prolly what crushes my relationships in past. I get to thinking I'm worth a lot more than what I'm fixed up with. I deserve such and such better, or else rather to be alone.

I'm the only me and I gots to look after myself, no one else to do it.
And with only one self, best to keep it important.

[SadLuckDame]

Because, I look to you and do not approve.
You had looked at me, but could not approve.

We've such annihilation towards each other's chosen expression
of a beautiful femininity, to be, to become, such individual women.

We separate that which has kept us so forcefully connected,
both making attempts at the idea of an ideal woman

and ours' extreme opposites, we mirror nothing we'd admit,
except then, also, we want to comply

since we've both such compassion for women,
because we're women and there's such unity in that, Mother.

We'll have achieved when we accept each other
to the extent we accept all other women, besides ourselves

and when I've accepted my own self fully
and you yours, then us one another...

we'll have become beautiful together, and alone.


~Gonna fix it later, lots of 'ands', run-ons. Just wanted to put it down as first thoughts.