I am tripping more than you are. Battling razzberries

[stilltrucking]

'sodomize fear'

silent woman was not a back seat driver
she let me have my way with her
I remember watching her watching me behind her
looking at our reflection in the bathroom mirror as she leaned over it.
later she told me she did not like it
and I asked her why she did not mention that to me while we were ...
and she said she was just going with the flow.

Never in a million years will I understand that.
Women flow so much deeper than men

I guess it was a good edit dame but it is an interesting phrase.
I thought about it when I said 'pretty write'
not a pretty phrase
but powerfull
is that a metaphor
I am so stoopid about metaphors
I will never be more than a compulsive scribbler

[SadLuckDame]

I don't know much at all about metaphors either, I've attempted lame attempts to learn a bit about them, but I've such a short attention span, I'm more monasory than a good student with studying capabilities. I know characters rather well, or at least I've imagined I do and so I've adopted characters and a theater, with stage, stage lights than it's a silent audience mostly, which I'm o.k. on.
All of it set up slightly off-centered in my head.

[stilltrucking]

talk about uncentered
it was izeveryboyin that wrote 'sodomize fear'
sorry I thought it was something you wrote but edited out.

http://www.studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtop ... 309#121309

day after christmas and among the torn wrapping paper and empty boxes christendom stumbles back to the grind.
Now we rush towards the the tomb of the unkown consumer
and Valentine's day.
Innocence and cyincism abound
If only I could get back to the fith grade again.
I would send Harriet Feldman a Valentine's day card.

[SadLuckDame]

I'd never be able to think up 'sodomize fear' at this point. Honestly, I don't know what it means, until I give a go at understanding it, which I shall.

My apologies. I was just on my normal dame stream of thoughts, nothing out of the ordinary here. It's o.k. It isn't such rotten luck to be unnoticed truly, it's comfortable for a dame like I.

I've stopped the exciting drunk head, when it comes to Holidays, especially ones like Valentine's Day. I used to mis-spell it and pronounce it Valentime's. I can't recall ever having a memorable one, in a good sense, only if it was shabby. And so, I just don't get too enthusiastic about it, other than that my imaginings will be grand again this year. That's where it's quite the celebration to remember.

[still.trucking]

I think about Harriet Feldman sometimes
on Valentine's day
pudgy little girl in my fifth grade class
I wish I had given her a Valentine's day card.

Oh I have some memorable Valentine's days
crushing heartbroken delusions of a fucking old fool

So through the eyes love attains the heart;
For the eyes are the scouts of the heart,
And the eyes go reconnoitering
For what it would please the heart to possess

And when they are in full accord and firm all three in one resolve,
at that time perfect love is born from what the eyes have made welcome to the heart.

For as all true loves know, love is perfect kindness which is born, there is no doubt, from the heart and the eyes
Guiraut de Borneilh

Quoted by Joseph Campbell's in Love and The Goddess, The Power of Myth.

[SadLuckDame]

I did get one in H.S. from an unknown secret admirer. I still have it, never found out who he was.

I googled her and she's a nurse now Jack. That's a good sign.

I have memorable ones...
like once I got a dozen roses and a black eye.

[still.trucking]

If she is a psychiatric nurse that could be a good sign.

I only mention Harriet because of her friends, she had the most gorgeous girl friends. Pudgy I suppose that is a harsh word. No if I could turn back time forty seven years I would send a valentine's card to Sarah T, the young woman in my comparative embryology class in the spring of 1962.

Sorry about the black eye. I tried to have a conversation about stuff like that with Clay. He said something like it always starts in her corner. I don't think we ever finished the conversation it was on the Creative Complaints board I forgot the title to it. I will give you a link if you want it. I took exception to it but I am sure I know less about it than any man here.

.
My early valentine to Doreen and her sisters
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You know me I am a hell of a nice guy, I would never hit a woman. Well except for once when I almost ...and one more time when I pulled silent woman's pigtail. But maybe there could be reasons of self defense. I had a red necked friend well not friend more like the ex boy friend of a girlfriend of my brother's
he went to court for hitting a woman, the judge asked son what is your alibi and he said "Your honor she was coming at me with a fire axe."

[jackofnightmares]

here is a link to the thread with clay on Creative Complaints
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.p ... c&start=15

Here is a video I posted to it.

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[jackofnightmares]

I meant to post this video

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I got another link with the english lyrics to the song she is singing if you want it.

[SadLuckDame]

Yes Jack, I know that poison in the blood and I know I can't truly make it go away as much as I try, I try, but it's under the layers and jumps out when in the moment--it's a devil in the blood, I've a devil in the blood and I can't always hide it.

I don't know what is worse, a kind natured man whom can't understand me or. It makes me think of the x, I waited every night for his temper to blow, I waited for it. My paranoia sky-rocketed just waiting, just picturing it in my mind, but not knowing when. I'd blow, I'd get my defenses boiling from the expectation, from the recollection, I'd be the cornered little beast with the hunger of a lion, but never, never did it come.

I'm screwed up Jack, a messy lady in the head. I do very well on my own.

I don't blame my father for any of it. He's just like I am and if anyone I blamed it was my mother, blamed for her silence, blamed for her waiting till he came home to dump her problems of trying to raise a lady, boiling him up after his long day at work. I suppose she was only doing her job of it. I need to heal the path to my mother.

[mousey1]

Well, we're talking about valentines a couple days after Christmas! Ain't that a blast. Well let's see if I can get my frigid heart around it.

Twas the night before Valentines
and all around in the houses
the fifth graders were quiet
with pencil and eraser
and scissors afire
they etched and encrypted
of their loves unrequited
When all of a sudden
there rose such a shout
Be my valentine
Be my valentine
the boys and girls shouted out

and the next day in School
it was so.

I don't think I ever got a valentine
from any special little boy
just the usual classroom forced
Be Mines.

And there you have it.

Hello Sad Luck Dame.
Just thought I'd drop by.

Hope you had a lovely Happy Holiday/Merry Christmas.

[SadLuckDame]

Just an after-thought.
The therapist tried healing what was with my father. I told her I love him very much and understand him (because he is like me-I'm poisoned with temper, I'm not in the same sense as he, but I've a very hot temper just the same. I'd be a dangerous witch with the look that crosses my eye, the thoughts in my head.)

So I told her--I love my father. The 'x' reminds me of my mother. I mentioned it, but she kept trying to heal something not needing healing. My mother had no blood on her hands, what was to heal then? The 'x' was a good man and I a blessed wife, why did I have such complications.

I knew then that I went to too shallow of healers and I got the heck out of there. Better off fixing myself. Or reading philosophy and psychology with you. I feel exceptionally better today.
No more guilt trips, no more daily paranoia. I'm healthier.

[SadLuckDame]

Aww mousey! Welcome to my little spot. I'm thrilled to have you and your holiday cheers. Valentine's day already sneaking up.
Stop in anytime, you're much enjoyed too.

Be mines Be mines
all year, all year.

[mousey1]

Thanks. I'll pull up a chair! See. See. See what you started? Sorry yet? :p

And I figured I could get away with my mindless chatter and silly word rat a tat tatting
in a Razzzzzzz berry thread!

[SadLuckDame]

Mousey I like the razz.
Anytime you're about, I'll cook up something scrumptious to devour and we'll have out chit chats over the table top.

Dear Jack,
you made it all go poof and now I'm looking out of place with my post, so I'm gonna poof it too. But, thanks for the ride. It was good for me to think on this stuff.