In light of my title 'luck'

The confessions. It's all in my head. It's all in my head.

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stilltrucking
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Post by stilltrucking » July 30th, 2010, 6:38 pm

Thanks for a good time dame
I am truly happy for you

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » July 31st, 2010, 12:39 am

Thanks Jack,
yes you come and go,
I think I'm supposed to be learning from it. :P
I'm pretty resistant, takes a while to figure out men.

Gotta go.
Sleep good, to both,
your friend.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by stilltrucking » September 1st, 2010, 5:05 am

The luck of the draw

“Oh, Fortuna, you degenerate wanton!”
John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces

It almost a year since you started this thread. Woke up thinking of Lou Gehrig and his "Luckiest man in the world" speech at Yankee Stadium

Image



The title is supposed to mean "O Fortune, you rotating wheel", and the drawing itself is a depiction of Fortuna as I see her. She is depicted with the symbols of fortune and luck: the pig, the clover, and of course her wheel of fortune.

I have been slightly inspired by Carl Orff's "Carmina Burana". If you have not yet heard this piece of music, you definitely should. I highly recommend it...


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the mingo
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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by the mingo » September 1st, 2010, 10:11 am

Thx for that Jack. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Hi to you too Dame.
Doll, you may have found a place of rest but I'm still on the trail.

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SadLuckDame
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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by SadLuckDame » September 1st, 2010, 4:45 pm

She's beautiful, Jack. Really loving that picture.
It's been a good few years, I'm a lucky dame.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by stilltrucking » November 26th, 2010, 10:03 am

Speaking of luck.
For some reason I been watch Guys and Dolls this morning.



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SadLuckDame
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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by SadLuckDame » November 27th, 2010, 10:22 pm

First I'd seen it, spent last night watching all I could find on youtube.
Thanks, Jack. :P
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by SadLuckDame » January 23rd, 2011, 2:16 pm

You're right, I'm not really scared.
I have a sense of protection I think I was born with.

This is opening up all sorts of sorts about spirit separate from body,
gonna sit with it a little longer, but I've a big awareness of my spirit
and how it's completely other than my body.
Talk to you soon.

It's more to do with that train of thought about an elitist spirit-wise,
but not otherwise.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by stilltrucking » January 24th, 2011, 9:33 pm

This is opening up all sorts of sorts about spirit separate from body,
gonna sit with it a little longer, but I've a big awareness of my spirit
and how it's completely other than my body.
Talk to you soon.

I think that is why I woke up from my lost dreams feeling so troubled. Finally saw them as metaphors for this homelessness I have always felt since I was a kid. Like I was just passing through this objective spacetime best of all possible worlds about us.

I started remembering something I read in a Tony Hillerman novel about the traditional Navajo cop who believes in the chindi. I started thinking about the afterlife my spirit bereft of a body wandering the world looking for a home, looking for someplace, trying to get to someplace but I did not know where. Such an impotent powerless feeling. I think I have broken through those spirit walking dreams to a whole new level of confustion and insight.

Read Love in The Ruins by Walker Percy. So beautiful, two hundred and twenty pages into I so rarely finish a book anymore. Thirty Years on The Phenomenology of Internal Time Consciousness before I gave up on that. You know that is the first time I read St Augustine's quote about know what time is until someone asks him what time is. I must have run into that quote so many times since then. Twice in the past twenty four hours, Once on an article about entanglement and again in a book about the Zen saying of Jesus.

Yeah I was thinking about our fears, just how much differnt are our fear circuits in our brains. Do some people have a higher threshold of fear than others. You said I scared you which made me wonder. Question my motives, my intent, was I trying to scare you? If so why?

You said something like guys are hard to figure, I would have to agree.

Something struck me from that walter percy novel about terror being the fear of nothing.

That is what made the Id monster in Forbidden Plantet so interesting to me.

Sense of protection, yes I have felt it since I was a child she always had her eye on me so that none would put the evil eye on me.


Under the wing of the great white chicken fairy god mother in the sky

smiling thinking about a story Panta Rhei's daughter wrote on studio eight a long time ago.

Oh well getting time for me to pack it in
been good chewing the fat with you dame

I guess I will post this now and see what I have written. :roll:
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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by SadLuckDame » January 24th, 2011, 9:56 pm

I don't know why I think you are sometimes, then I end up thinking I reacted overly sensitive. Which witch is which, who knows, not I.

That look on your face, I mean speech is just an added extra.
ppp

Sweet dreams, u.
I was so happy to be hanging with ya tonight and your humor.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by SadLuckDame » February 6th, 2011, 4:49 pm

Jack, I wanted to give you my notes on trains.
I guess it's really notes on old indifference. Anyway, either way, it's important for me to write them here cause it's what I was 'saved' from.

Notes on trains and old indifference.

I don't like going back to that house, things get creepy the further I go in,
but I'll stand outside and peek through the windows. How a person gets so creeped by someone so average, really rather normal, only dumb things like overbearing or manipulative, a touch powerful. It isn't the monsters with a fire belly and long sharp teeth gashing at my ankles.

O.K. the trains.
He was talking and I'd look off beside me for a fast rolling train. If it stopped
then I would try to unnoticeably step on. The train never drove on for too long and it'd always bring me back to the same spot. There would be his prying mind on the verge and I'd again look to the side, if another train stopped, I'd enter it just as I did the previous one.
I caught trains all day long.

I didn't do it to stir up trouble, I just wanted to climb on it and press my palms against the window, watch the fields of flowers fly by, see some coloring, some beauty. It was all very innocent.
I'd had a ticket to ride and those are the notes I have here for explaining that past situation and my love of trains.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by still.trucking » February 6th, 2011, 6:23 pm

first thoughts
Not sure who he is or what house. I will have to go back to the begining of this thread and re-read it again. Be back when I do. But I am guessing he is not the catfish but your ex

In the meantime I don't know why this
.only dumb things like overbearing or manipulative, a touch powerful.

reminds me of The Awakening (Kate Chopin)



Silent woman had a friend like your catfish I think, that was before I came into her life like a karmic shit storm. Her relationship with the catfish was not sexual, not her choice but his. He was a mentor spirit guide to her, she was trying to escape her marriage but he told her to go home to her husband.

Joel wrote an interesting poem about Jesus and the woman taken in adultery. Did they stone men too I wonder?

http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=20674




Can you remember the sounds of the old steam trains?

Sorry I lost the thread I am just picking it up from here, but I promise you I will reread it from the beginning
Kate and Pinks

Kate Chopin The Awakening

From The Awakening: "Even as a child she had lived her own small life all within herself. At a very early period she had apprehended instinctively the dual life—that outward existence which conforms, the inner life which questions."

http://www.katechopin.org/the-awakening.shtml
"Natural selection, as it has operated in human history, favors not only the clever but the murderous." Barbara Ehrenreich

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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by SadLuckDame » February 6th, 2011, 7:15 pm

Agg! no, not the catfish for he was my friend, maybe more like the train conductor. He just said, "Where we going, ms." He never really participates fully.
I don't know.

And though it's about the x, this too is even evolving, because now it's more looking in at my own weaknesses. I'd like to get my finger pressed very hard down on it so if I do ever engage again, I'll be aware of my own state of recklessness.

I don't regret my mistakes, but it's not as if I want to repeat them.

If I face what I turn from, I might be a lady some day.
I've been fixated on the wrong images, I need to hold the mirror up when I'm least likely.

Thanks for being my friend.

Joel wrote it true to heart. I couldn't agree more.
But, for a long time here, I've said such as, "Who cares if I'm a sinner...". Which is true, as far as no one else but me should, only I wasn't owning it.

It's hard to go there, cause I know I still wouldn't have changed anything there, but change is for present and future. This is what I'm newly looking into.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by stilltrucking » February 6th, 2011, 8:06 pm

This is what I am keeping my eye on dame
"In the background of all of his feelings for a woman, a man still has contempt for the female sex."
Did Nietzsche harbor contempt for Lou Salome? Do I have contempt for the female sex? I am not too sure I don't. I have to check myself sometimes when my sister and I are having a difficult conversation.


I appreciate the chats with you. If I hurt your feelings with my indifference I hope you know if I am indifferent it is a most tender indifference.

I knew you knew who Kate Chopin was. But that is what it sounded like to me when I heard silent woman tell me the story of her marriage.

All we can do is compare notes on the phenomenology of female spatiality and the phenomenology male spatiality so we can be more aware of the other in our world.
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Re: In light of my title 'luck'

Post by SadLuckDame » February 6th, 2011, 9:22 pm

Yes, I know what you mean and I, too, was developing a contempt for man. Maybes that's the right word for me, too. But, now I don't know what the point of developing it is, especially seeing as how I survive and I've always survived. Not sure why I decided it so important to put importance on the fear of fearing men, when it might be an non-necessity in a lot of cases, especially if I decide I might like his company or whatever.

My energy could be better spent, instead of figuring out how to strengthen the 'avoidance and escape routes (most likely I've already perfected anywayz :P),
I could just zoom in on what makes me turn-turn-turn way and how to help that 'it' instead of encourage. There must be a better way than my way, is all I'm wondering.

I'm not a coward, but I am in that area, the biggest runner awayer ever, if I can, even if my feet stay put.

.................

I notice I'm rambling.

Well, I didn't know of her until you'd mentioned her.
A lot of it resonates to me. Catfish didn't take my hand and run off to St. Louis with me, he'd never do that, not like that.

It's more like he was one of those old fashioned dr. yous, held out a magic pill. Everyone is skeptical, except the one woman who reaches for it and says, "It's a cure-all?"

The pill doesn't need to contain anything really, could be sugar, she likes sugar. It's just that the dr. knows it'll tap her belief mechanism. That's all the magic it needs. "Five dollars and a good nights sleep, but for you, Doll, it's free."
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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