Influential heights

The confessions. It's all in my head. It's all in my head.

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SadLuckDame
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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » February 17th, 2011, 7:46 am

I couldn't say either, Jack
only I knows you're not alone,
for what it's worth in comfort
I'm here for you.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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SadLuckDame
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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » March 13th, 2011, 10:46 pm

Been playing up a storm.
What a trip in the lights.

Image
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 1st, 2011, 7:15 am

By raising a daughter, I'm beginning to finally know my mother.
"Mother, I'm raising a daughter
and she's much like you."
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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SadLuckDame
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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 2nd, 2011, 11:59 am

Image
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Re: Influential heights

Post by stilltrucking » April 2nd, 2011, 2:03 pm

My Mother Myself
read that about thirty years ago

My sister myself
I been thinking about that as a title for a short story

I suppose that is how I saw the Bell Jar
a mother daughter estrangement

My sister born late in her mother's life
Not so much a generation gap between them as a grand canyon.

Amazon.com: My Mother/My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity ...When Nancy Friday began her research for My Mother/My Self in the early 1970's no work existed that explored the unique interaction between mother and ...
www.amazon.com › ... › Parent & Adult Child - Cached - Similar
Amazon.com: My Mother My Self: The Daughter's Search for Identity ...My Mother passed away in March 2009. I found myself divorced soon thereafter ...
www.amazon.com › ... › Psychology & Counseling - Cached - Similar
Show more results from amazon.comMy Mother, Myself - New York TimesJul 28, 2007 ... With each passing year, my mother's undiminished power over me felt, I think for both of us, increasingly humiliating.
www.nytimes.com/2007/07/28/.../28galchen.html - Similar - Add to iGoogle
My Mother/My Self by Nancy Friday - Trade Paperback - Random HouseWhen Nancy Friday began her research for My Mother/My Self in the early 1970's no work existed that explored the unique interaction between mother and ...

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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 2nd, 2011, 2:19 pm

I'm not at all like my mother
and it's a struggle to understand her,
but my daughter's as my mother.
By raising her
I find I have this intimate look into
what my mother my have meant,
why was she as she.

It's a journey.

My sister myself
that one is entirely a magnet for me
for my sister is my other self
if I weren't as I am this way.
It's just an easy understanding.
Not so much a generation gap between them as a grand canyon.
Yes.

I want to read a book
my brother myself
if I had a brother
he might seem like you.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: Influential heights

Post by myrna minkoff » April 12th, 2011, 7:21 pm

Henry Miller has a story or essay about clowns.

The heaviest book I never wrote was called My Father Myself, it was going to be a riff on the sickness unto death and the concept of dread. I don't think I got enough to get around to reading Soren's book.

I would like to live at least long enough to finish reading The Tropic of Cancer. At the tender age of seventy I am finally sexually mature enough to read it.

What I like most about him is he can write about Nietzsche without quoting him, without even mentioning him. Henry was no jack off intellectual

I know my limits dame it has haunted me this past thirty five years. I got no music in my head, I don't know music. I know a little maybe, it has something to do with duration, with time.
time is melodious?
beats me I stumble on the best I can,
"what we can't reach flying we must reach limping"
"To sing you must first open your mouth, you must have a pair of lungs, and a little knowledge of music"


San Antonio Rose wanted a daughter I think that is the only reason she did not get an abortion. At the tender age of forty two she had few illusions left about Crazy Mike. She went to her grave with a veil of sadness between her and her daughter. Over the past five or six years since I been here in Texas I have had many conversations with her about her mother. For a long time I could not even mention Rose's name to her with out seeing a look of sorrow pass over my sister's face. Never too late for a daughter to experience a mother's love if she is fortunate enough to have a brother or sister.

ramble jamble jam

out on a limb with lovely lesbians
"Think of the human race walking around with a bone on. The kangaroo has a double penis—one for weekdays and one for holidays. Dozing. A letter from a female asking if I have found a title for my book. Title? To be sure;"Lovely Lesbians.""

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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 12th, 2011, 8:25 pm

It's never too late,
the beauty of that statement is only known with life and the living.
We finally age enough to know it's still worth of trying
and I think that's attractive, an attraction to life.

I don't know how I'm really dealing with death,
I think I don't really deal
I've decided it's too awful to accept the way people accept
instead I just return to those I've loved and lost and play with them in my head
if ever I want to and it works for me with my grandparents. I don't think it'd work very well with every death or with the death of loved ones I'd be used to spending each day spending with them.
Death is so dark. I guess I make attempts at propping a mirror in front of it.
I don't do well with being a comfort, I feel as if I want to comfort, but no clue how to reach when it's sadness. I'm trying to learn the language of grief
of heart in sad times.

About Henry and Anais. They loved what each were creating, had a hunger maybes.

I bought a lot of books this week. Got Sons and Lovers by D.H. Lawrence, The Stranger by Camus, Richard Brautigan's The Hawkline Monster (plus two more), Jan Kerouac's Baby Driver, Slaughterhouse Five, Dombey and Son by Charles Dickens and a whole stack of mini books with almost all sorts of classics and well known knowns.

I mean that's a hungry, ya started talking food and I gotta eat.
Similarities is all I'm hinting :P

I'll bees soft and female unless I get fighting.
It's comfort, ya know.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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stilltrucking
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Re: Influential heights

Post by stilltrucking » April 12th, 2011, 9:38 pm

Baby Driver, I had it let it slip away. But at least I did get to read it before I lost it.
For some reason it reminded me of Iphigenia'



So many books I have not read. Shapiro in the introduction to Tropic of Cancer keeps comparing Miller to Walt Whitman. O god, I hardly read any Whitman at all

Passing thoughts of death, I hardly ever stare into the darkness anymore. But for a long time I wanted to face St. Sylvia's demons for her.
So I keep myself occupied while I tried to hide from my own. l I try not to dwell on death, but I do not shy away from thoughts of death, just notice them as they chug across my mind.
Seems to me some people notice their thoughts more than others.

I been thinking about reading a book about Objectivity but it is pretty dense. I read a Sunday stream by mtmynd that seems to be the Zen version of the same thing.

I bought The Siren's of Titan as a E-Book.
What do I know"
"I am a thing called alive."
in the past couple of weeks
I read Cannery Row and Cat's Cradle again, also The Great Gatsby. I have a tendency to reread books I love. I read the Bell Jar at least ten times.
good night

"Anne Stevenson and Sylvia Plath and I came of age in the period when the need to keep up the pretense was strong: no one was prepared to ...face the post-Hiroshima and post-Auschwitz world. At the end of her life, Plath looked, with unnerving steadiness, at the Gorgons; She was able-she had been elected-to confront what most of the rest us fearfully shrank from. “For goodness sake, stop being so frightened of everything, Mother! "She wrote to Aurelia Plath in October 1962. "Almost every other word in your letter is 'frightened. In the same letter she said:It's too bad my poems frighten you. —"Silent Woman Janet Malcolm

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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 12th, 2011, 10:02 pm

I don't want to stay in frightened states of mind
or often frightened like a ninny with not a backbone.
I want to be tough, be a toughen up girl,

but it would be extra sweet, Jack, if we lived a long, happy and playful life, then died and went on to a spectacular heaven with gigantic pearls side by side the gates.

It appeals to me
more than anything else I've uncovered.
I want to say, play, play and when we're old and gray
let's just dook or dork it out in heaven
over which of us has more feathers. :P

Childish...mayhaps. Perhaps. I don't know if it is or not.
But I can't lie. I am gonna stay with it
cause it feels really wonderful.

Too much time as scaredy cat. :P

You help me achieve a great deal of thinking cause I don't know how to start an intelligent thought, but I can dive right in with you. The water is grand. Thanks u, Jack.

Jack bees quick
Jack bees good
gotta a lot of road
to still keep driving on.

Night night to you, too.
Thanks for the books, I'm thrilled.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 12th, 2011, 10:18 pm

So many books I have not read. Shapiro in the introduction to Tropic of Cancer keeps comparing Miller to Walt Whitman. O god, I hardly read any Whitman at all
I don't think he does either, but I've read a lot of Henry's so far and prolly not Walts', enough to image him more an individual by now more than W. When a person becomes a person. I should write a book on it.

Too much to make comparisons any more. (I mean Henry is sometimes the catfish, lalala)

Henry didn't seem his age whilst Walt did...or something like that. Henry stayed young and isn't the old man in his photos... I keep adding and adding. I'm not sure what my mind's up to tonight. It's very scattered, I can't pull all those strings together collectively or rather in a collection more suited to a better fashion. I'm dressed in a lot of dresses at the moment or sumpin' with all the heavy. ha ha.

I better sleep before it creeps me. :P

I think I likes Walt, but I don't remember. I should read a couple refreshers.
Maybe Henry is sticky some.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: Influential heights

Post by stilltrucking » April 12th, 2011, 11:26 pm

This bit is why I am so enthralled with him. This written 77 years ago but still current I think.
At no time in the history of man has the world been so full of pain and anguish. Here and there however we meet with individuals who are untouched, unsullied,, by the common grief. They are not heartless individuals, far from it! They are emancipated beings, for them the world is not what it seems to us. They see with other eyes. We say of them that they have died to the world. They live in the moment, fully, and the radiance which emanates from them is a perpetual joy.


You teaching this old dog some new tricks.

sleep tight amiga

I am usually reading four or five books at anyone time. More like I am juggling them.

I also been rereading 1984, God Bless You Mr Rosewater. And I am listening to the audio book version of The Confederacy Of Dunces again. I would like to get the E-Book version of it.

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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 13th, 2011, 11:43 am

First thoughts today
returning to my child girl self.
She was without bone.

Ya know how I was her back there, praying for God to grant her death cause she was innocent and her being guaranteed an easy trip to Heaven. Her without the bone, without such solids.
I remember the biblical stories and having such awareness of adult struggles.
She was unsolid. Afraid to have to face the challenges, the decision making process, prolly cause she lacked the knowledge that she would gain weapons along the journey or make em out of trees, out of rock or what-nots if need be.

She pictured only the choices, not the swords.

Thinking then about turning around and turning to salt. Thinking then about birthing a child then having to decide to kill it if God asked. Thinking then about needing to pick up a Orient Samaritan along the road that was familiar but risky with wounds and an unknown language, ya know? The choices haunt

but I missed the knowledge that we can build up massive spears, big armor chest plates and survive the jungle.

I'm glad for survival. I didn't know I could gain confidence, friendships, meet heros and unicorns. Didn't know life has meaning and perspective is all about perspective. Heavy is made light and laughter and children grow up into lions and lambs.

It's grand, Jack.
I'm ridiculously enjoying the trip with you and my friends, my family and whistle when you want to.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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Re: Influential heights

Post by stilltrucking » April 13th, 2011, 1:13 pm

Child girls





Dame I guess I loved Plath’s only novel so much because she was so stoopid about executions. I tried so hard to relate to her mental state on that cold February morning in London in 1963.
I think about her as a child girl, a genius with a fatal gift, my shiksa who knew how I felt that queer sultry day they executed the Rosenberg's. Sometimes when I think about death I th ink about Ethel’s heart that would not stop beating despite multiple electrocutions, I don’t know how many times they had to electrocute her to kill her.

I think about the mind set of someone who commits suicide maybe because I was such a precocious ch ild who tried it myself when I was around eight. Not sure how old I was, but I know it had to be somewhere around 1948 because I was living in the house in the picture below ant that was from about 1947 to about 1952.

First thoughts, yes I liked mingo’s painting a lot.

I got to go going to continue later I hope.

I don’t have much memory of bible stories, I have finally made peace with Crazy Mike I can truly say Amor Fati, I am gratefu l for this gift of life, and I am even more grateful he spared me a religious indoctrination

Did G d ask Kerouac to sacrifice his daughter?
I am sorry I suppose it is just :mrgreen:
that makes me say that :twisted:

My beautiful silent woman had two child girls, I believe she aborted my child because she was more concerned with the welfare of h er two living children. I only blame myself for 'blissing out' on the acid and letting that condom slip off.
Putting her in a situation where she had to make a decision like that.

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Re: Influential heights

Post by SadLuckDame » April 15th, 2011, 10:47 am

The two sat down to a berry frisk,
it was whipped up coconut and wild off
the Slider bush.

Slider grows effortlessly along metal tracks
it gusts a heave of a sigh because of the thundering.
I guess it finds thunder an ease,
harsh environments
settles the nerves in a weedy head.

Let's look in at the two to dine.
Her, Annie and him, Cat
with forks and Lavern whiskey slights
balanced on one tap.
They had salt and pepper
to dress their little sweet beets in.

Her present collar stormed around the neck
and bowed delightfully by and by her chin.

He wore the ladder in soft teals and stripe
upwards went his height, upwards stormed his gripe.

"We could defend the neighbors." and he chomped his jaw
to affect her naturally.

"Yes. I don't know how to begin."
All the whilst she dropped crumbs within her silkens
and when brushed, her eye lifted
then casted, to watch where they might travel.

Down, down they flighted and float.

Here, her mind wandered to small creatures
and batty thrones for animal of tiny girth
to exert their ravenous appetites on.

"Do you hear the train holler?" her breath wildly
tumersaulting with a feminine vault,
then too her mind tumbled
and visualized her frighty breath
sailing towards Atlanta
to dabble the rabbit ears.
Wake up! just to stir before the snake
coil could bind.

"Cat, Cat! These knots to unwind."

And Cat said, "We'll buy a shot gun."
Then he held her dearly to him
and the train vibrated the tracks,
it's voice louder. He held her more
with his hands pressed to soften the sound.

"Annie, the neighbors want us to sing
at their Barbering. I'll keep the bees awake,
you'll have honey."
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

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