Looking for a sturdy mattress

[SadLuckDame]

I don't know Jack. I guess my daddy tried to tell me about men, he said, "You better bring one home that is like me." But, I didn't and he thought he had failed, honestly was disappointed with my last choice. Ha...

[stilltrucking]

It is an awful song. Don’t know why I posted it sorry.

[SadLuckDame]

It was a terrible song, yes
But, I didn't mind. There used to be a day way back when and when I would of said, "Oh crap, Jack. Did you see the lyrics on that there song?" And my eyes would of buggered out of my head. But, not now, not after some of what I've been exposed to in literature.

[stilltrucking]

I saw the lyrics yes, but the bit that really hit home was the line

"try not to beat her too much" he is a racist and sexist, he also has a song called nigger which I take at face value not looking for a subtext. it is what it is.

no one else I could have posted that to, it came after I had a disturbing dream the night before I stumbled onto that song. Somehow the dream and the song linked together.

Read an interesting link the other day, the bit that really struck me was this

The Four Supreme Efforts for the mind are (1) not to let an unwholesome thought arise which has not yet arisen, (2) not to let an unwholesome thought continue which has already arisen, (3) to make a wholesome thought arise which has not yet arisen, (4) to make a wholesome thought continue which has already arisen.

what love is

Thinking about Hamlet what dreams may come...
Thinking about a movie called The Forbidden Planet
thinking about Monsters from the Id.
thinking about what unwholesome thoughts arise in my dreams, are they unwholesome or merely (sp?) threatening, frightning, thoughts from the subconscious.

One thing being a wake and another dreaming
I guess I am always doing both
Freud was fascinated or maybe it is i who am fascinated by the not quite conscious thoughts that linger just over the horizon of my consciouness, I am aware of them vaguely (sp) but quell them from language, I do not let them filter through into language, "the watcher at the gate" veils them, they remain dark, amorphous, mysterious, like being struck mute when I try to express them. I think Henry Miller had no problem with "unwholesome thoughts"
The david allen coe did not bring forth any wholesome thoughts, but it is interesting to me that he had that bit in there about beating women.

Oh well here is a wholesome song I think



I'm going to spell check this later.

[SadLuckDame]

I found this for you, at times I think we're the two in a duel and with swords, sex or violins. This is the story between us in there somewhere, we just put in dialog, scenery and whatever triggers our trigger during the moment, but there's always that story between us.

[SadLuckDame]

[SadLuckDame]

This is for you Jack.
I didn't reply to your reply and now you're gone. But I still wanna tell ya you put a spell on me.

[stilltrucking]

Yes you have, and I miss you when you are gone.

RE: deleted post.
I used to think she was a spoiled child, but now I think it is because she is a princess

I took it down because it seemed too personal, so I changed it

spoiled daughter
In her guilt for having to dispose of the father of her daughter, to protect her daughter's innocence, she wound up spoiling her to compensate for the death of her father.

her mother herself
she ain't heavy
just dense

[SadLuckDame]

Ha! that's me in the bed (and the little one said, "Roll over, roll over.")
They all rolled over and one fell out.
ppp

Thank you, Jack.
Makes me happy.

I was not spoiled, my parents were completely against it with me, but because I'm so particular than I had a lot of fights on my hands.

[stilltrucking]

How do you tell a story about a family and protect the innocent?

[SadLuckDame]

I don't know that I'm very good at that, Jack.
I worry about what information I do say and ya know.
But, I guess I just get comfortable here talking to you and I'd listen to however you say a thing. I'd just listen in and try to picture it all coming together to partially make you up.

[stilltrucking]

Oh we don't know what's coming tomorrow
Maybe it's trouble and sorrow
But we'll travel the road sharing our load
Side by side

a fellow like me lucky to have a pen pal like you.

I will let you know as I make it up

[SadLuckDame]

You're a helpmate every day just by accepting me.
I am luckier than you, because I have someone like you interacting with someone like me and the back and forth and Oh man!
Good stuff.

[stilltrucking]

yeah it's pretty sexy alright
teamsters used to call them sweatheart contracts.
a real pain in the ass

no seriously I just don't know how to act to that.
act, no it is not even an act
"a flaterer is worse than a murderer" Good old I. B Singer, I am haunted by the stories he told.

so anyway
as we was saying
before I had thoughts about my intentions again
again
sublimnation again, silent woman could not get her mind around that.
concept of sublimation
spelling don't you hate it when your spontaneous flow gets diverted by the demon spell checker

sublimation something like that freudian stuff, everything eros but the after world war one maybe it was the horrors of modern warfare or the drugs maybe the cancer, whatever, his vision got darker, he started writing about another drive/instinct of humans being human, something beyond the pleasure principle, some call it a death instinct, maybe just callit an "unlife" instinct, Nietzsche admired Jesus as a man, his courage.

So here we come back to Camus again
god bless his memory
We all moo for Camus

sometimes I feel like an ignorant child, nobody ever read me children's nonsense stories, no dr seuss. Just the Sunday Comic Strips.

so it goes
like the bear in Pogo who could write but not read.
So we make it up as it goes

oh yeah I almost forgot the

there is another version of that song

[SadLuckDame]

I know, he got a lot darker on me and I tried to pull him back into his lights, delights and bring it back around the circle, but he'd not allow it, not never allow it again. I guess I'm not equipped rightly, not in his sights to help lift those demons up out of smiting his atmosphere. I can't do it though I've wanted to be there for it and put my spirit there, thinking just the side-by-side with my spirit could battle such demon's tricks, but I guess my spirit isn't influential enough.
I lack and all it does is show me I had ego and that really I just lack.
I didn't want to know that my spirit wasn't going to be able to stand side-by-side and be enough.

Anyway, I'm glad you accept my inadequacy.