What does friendship mean to you?

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Steve Plonk
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What does friendship mean to you?

Post by Steve Plonk » July 28th, 2010, 9:23 pm

What does real friendship mean to you? I try to reach people from "where they are at". I try to make friends. I try to connect...
I make it a point to find out where people are coming from when they are peeved about something, or are joyful, etc.
However, sometimes in spite of my best efforts, people are
just right here and right now and right on...Communication is the key...
See below:

From THE PROPHET, p. 61, by Kahlil Gibran’
Excerpt from “…Speak of Talking”:
“When you meet your friend on the road-
side or in the market place, let the spirit in
you move your lips and direct your tongue.
Let the voice within your voice speak to
The ear of his ear;
For his soul will keep the truth of your
heart as the taste of the wine is remembered
When the colour is forgotten and the
vessel is no more.”
So, I keep those cards and letters flowing into the continuum.
Friendship is fleeting and some folks are only of the fairweather variety;
however, new friends happen when you least expect it. Once again, what does real friendship mean to you, folks of the blogosphere? Do you also have lifelong friends? Have you met real friends on the net? What's up with that?
Something is happening on the net which is new and fresh-- together with this friendship thing. Within the net , there are new worldwide connections waiting to happen...

Steve Plonk
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Joined: December 12th, 2009, 4:48 pm

Addendum

Post by Steve Plonk » August 8th, 2010, 4:02 pm

Addendum:

Self-absorption gets in the way of friendship, sometimes,
and you still have to get past yourself to see the worth in others.
"To your own self be true." Self-improvement is a good thing...
as the saying goes. Then branch out and reach out to others.
Problems still remain, but good company many times helps alleviate
the pain. Connections are the key to communion which is the
highest point friendship may go. What do you think?

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Doreen Peri
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Post by Doreen Peri » August 8th, 2010, 7:43 pm

I've met quite a few friends on the net... people who I may never meet in person but who I know from the net, I still trust and confide in. I listen to them. They listen to me. We reach out to each other and offer each other solace and humor and a shoulder. Or we simply inspire each other to be.... better poets, better artists, better people.... to care about the world and planet.

Of the hundreds of people I've met on the net, I have also met some of them in person. 29 at last count. Mostly to do shows together... poetry readings, music, a local tv show, etc.... but had it not been for the net, I never would have met them.

As for in-person friends, I have a few, but not many who I'm real close to. However, I do consider my sisters and cousins my dear friends. They would be there for me in a minute if I needed them. I have other friends.... friends from work, neighbors, some who I socialize with... but there are many levels of friendship. Some friends are closer to me than others who I would still consider friends and not just acquaintances.

Friendship is a very important part of life. It means being there for the other person for companionship, listening, talking, hearing, doing things together.... and most of all it means identifying with each other's plights and helping out.... while all the while LAUGHING whenever we can. Friendship is about laughter and companionship. It's about being in this thing called life together.

All this said, there have been occasional times in my life where I feel I've lost the trust I had in a friend. Trust is an utmost factor in friendship. Without trust, you have nothing.... without trust, it is not a friendship. It's sad when that happens.... but it hasn't happened to me often.

I make it a habit of continually making new friends. I rarely lose one. And I don't lose one without a fight to keep the friendship if it's at all possible.

We aren't here by ourselves. We are here together... sharing a big world... but it's smaller when you have friends.... it's easier to enjoy. Friends make living worthwhile.

The reasons we are here are
1) to do it together, this thing called life
2) to help each other
3) to create
4) to support each other
5) to encourage each other
6) to LOVE

Great topic, Steve.

Steve Plonk
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Joined: December 12th, 2009, 4:48 pm

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Post by Steve Plonk » August 8th, 2010, 8:28 pm

Doreen, thanks for your comments...I agree with all of it and especially about the idea that trust is very important in friendship. So is companionship and so on.

Friends, in my view, are ,moreover, "the brothers and sisters of your soul"...To expand on what Kahlil Gibran said in his quote. I am very
lucky to have around fifty people whom I write to at Christmas time and probably ten of these are lifelong friends.

I have many more acquaintances, but few of these have become what I call "real" friends. Possibly, that is a common occurence with many of us. I don't know. I have lost touch with many friends through the years. I can think of ten of them who have gone off my Christmas card list and who no longer call. These things happen and it is hard to let go.
Also, recently several of my friends have passed away. So that is harder still. Anytime I lose a friend, one way or the other, it is like a death in the family. So, that's my brief take on friendship--adding to what you and others have said. The internet is a great "new" tool to get to know people.

Back in the old days, we had what you call "pen pals". One of my best pen pals was Mahendra Kahara, who was a couple years older than me.
He was from Ranchi, India, in what used to be called Bihar state. He fought in the India-Pakistani War in 1965 and I never heard from him again. I hope Mahendra wasn't killed like a friend of mine was in 'Nam.
These things happen...

I still remember folks I knew that long ago. I had a
girlfriend whom I went to "sockhops" with who died on prom night. She was a passenger in a car which got hit by a drunk driver. Had I been there and she'd been with me, she possibly might still be alive. These things happen...At any rate, we have gotten to the age when the fragility of the human condition is more pronounced. So we have to negotiate with the idea of death much more often.

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SadLuckDame
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Post by SadLuckDame » August 8th, 2010, 8:50 pm

A beautiful topic, Steve.
I'm picky and choosy, guess they gotta rock my soul or make the connection. I have quite a lot of women, especially, that are my soul sisters and a few men, like soul brothers. It's just that reading each other without words thing. It's true and they've got me for our lifetime. We cook together or cook to drop off, have our coffee and wine nights, lay in each other's laps, or circle in embraces. We're all very closely entwined. O.K. sounds like hippies.

On the net, I, too like to believe I've made such strong friendships. Just a suggestion, you know, it's harder to know, but that doesn't interfere with the closeness. Whatever I can take from me and voodoo on over the internet waves to them, I make my attempts.

As to acquaintances, I'm not big on them, I have them in craploads, but I don't pass out the candy. They are there when I'm there and I keep it light, I'm pretty shy or quiet.
`Do you know, I was so angry, Kitty,' Alice went on...`when I saw all the mischief you had been doing, I was very nearly opening the window, and putting you out into the snow! And you'd have deserved it, you
little mischievous darling!
~Lewis Carroll

Steve Plonk
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Post by Steve Plonk » August 8th, 2010, 9:21 pm

Sad Luck Dame, Great to meet more folks on the net...might be close by or far away.
We still celebrate Halloween and that is one time one may pass out
candy to strangers. But, I see what you mean...Usually a person doesn't spill guts to acquaintances unless one has gotten to know them a bit more than is ordinary.

I don't mind sharing with folks and getting to know them better once in a while, because neighbors can sometimes turn out to be great friends.
We had a block party one time to have a "neighborhood watch" and that
was the only time I've met all my neighbors on the street. We have had
no more break-ins since then. The cops caught the crooks, too, who broke in the house down the street and stole some stuff. So, we've been lucky on our street.

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jimboloco
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Post by jimboloco » August 9th, 2010, 2:24 pm

i don't know if our neighboors are selfabsorbed or we are, but it's nice to have that kind of personal space around one's home
not like weirdheimer montrose in houston where one's "friendly" neighboors are the ones breaking into your home at night whilst you are at work and trashing it while stealing goods
oh no the worst extreme
this is almost paradise here, but for the fancy pants homes across the street
the whole rest is homey easy, so i know the folks on my side of the street and the guy farther down across
i am friendly with the lady across the street since she kicked out the cigarrette boat dude and brought in the roto rooter man
but we don't really chat
the guy next door left talks with everybody fancy pants and all
and he is a landscaper/fishherman
the other side is private
i saw him come out one night when the electricity had gone out
we were in the front yard enjoying looking at the stars
all of a sudden this guy is standing face to face with me
appearing with a friendly smile a good neighbor
never again tho
oh yeah we were both out cutting our respective downbeat but gradually developing yards and we both shared a laugh knowing how they look across the street from fancypants
yeah that was good

mercy same ladduck
that kind of physical accompaniement is choral reefy
it builds upon itself
yet find it interesting you seek a sentiment of being more sensitive to goings on and the sad state of man, oops

i was looking in on the quaker meeting two weeks ago
silent as a mousey i saw a level of intimacy thati find to be almost self absorbed
while these folks have shared together and within their respective families sometimesover years of worshipful and service oriented activities, i truly can also see that they are equally as impervious to an outsider's alienation

me and texas tiles having the same fate in quaker meetings a sort of indwelling sprit that is also protective of itself from disturbing the equanimity of the core

it's a survival instinct, but also meetings change and one changes as well
i get better vibes with the friendly folks at work, life and death, grief and madcap all in one trying to be more consistently professional yet getting those laughs

i gotta call my quaker friend jim he is the one who, while he was watching a man who he had shot die over hours caught in the concertina wire, whose pregnant girlfriend was destroyed by american artillery in saigon during tet He came home "well adjusted" now he is a wreck retired since 62 and finally getting a VA disability pension from the PTSD and the agent orange spray that went around that base to the north and west, bien hoa.... depression, inability to do any complex task, , resperatory loss, diabetes, but he is into the quakers has 2 ex wives and 3 children, he knows intimacy that is his provenence and a deep intellectual with interest in community building, he lives alone in a retirement tower
but he is still a way outsider it is hard to connect with him

my version of friendship is not a social foray except with my wife
he don't want tai chi
so i eat chinese food with them
\pray with quakers
curse alone
i still think i may someday connect with a deeper personal male friend or friemds
but nobody who wants to go canoeing cares about nada

ms peri got a garden all contrary
if i ever get up your way i plan to be a part of the bill

there was a place like this an old fellow had an art gallery and he had a little stage set up and on weekends locals would come in and read poems, play the piano, and engage is a bit of theatre

it was marvelous

now the man has gone to heaven, the house is still there, renovated in an artsy district, not too gancy, bars and cafe's
the bohemian cafe is down the way haven't made it there
maybe i'll treat jim to a lunch downtown yeah life is tough
but then there are openings

playing with my future is getting to be a more fun job
[color=darkcyan]i'm on a survival mission
yo ho ho an a bottle of rum om[/color]

Steve Plonk
Posts: 2483
Joined: December 12th, 2009, 4:48 pm

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Post by Steve Plonk » August 9th, 2010, 3:20 pm

Jimboloco, appreciate your thoughts...this tire swing of life has its
ups & downs, ins & outs...We are lucky to get to know each other on the net. All the folks here have been really cordial.

Yeah, our neighborhood is improving, also, and we are getting to know each other. I am still succeeding to get my lawn mowed to keep up "with the Joneses". It's a lost cause, though... My hedges need some professional work and it's just too blamed hot to trim them & or remove them all. I happen to have holly bush hedges--ouch! I've removed two of them already...
At the time, we moved in, I didn't think I'd get so behind trimming them. Oh well...been here thirteen, going on fourteen years...

So, at least, at the moment the lawn is caught up. I got up early to cut it last weekend on both days. Next weekend, we start all over.
But that is upkeep these days...We say hi to the neighbors and chew the fat when we see them outdoors...

Steve Plonk
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Joined: December 12th, 2009, 4:48 pm

Re: What does friendship mean to you?

Post by Steve Plonk » October 1st, 2010, 4:37 pm

Addendum: Part of friendship is communication!

Speaking of "Chewing the fat: Here's an opportunity on my column to get more acquainted with other fellow bloggers. Look for the topic: "chat spot".
I am reserving that space for friends on this blog. So hang around and chat a bit if you care to. Thanks for posting. If you need to confirm meetings, please e-mail each other. We don't have space for that here. Keep in mind that the "chat spot" has to be approved by site administration. More on that later... "Chat spot" has been approved. Please go there to post messages.

Now we can get back on this older topic about what friendship means to you.

Steve Plonk
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Joined: December 12th, 2009, 4:48 pm

Re: What does friendship mean to you?

Post by Steve Plonk » February 15th, 2011, 6:50 pm

Here's a good one by Mary Hopkin: See link to "Earth Song"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nOf8T5PD ... re=related

Kind of illustrates agape & a special friendship with the world at large...

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