Being inside the web was safe- no critics- no advice from practicing addicts that talk about managing pain medication-
Fuck - they don't get it
After awhile- you have to surrender/ belief that whatever is left of
God- dream time- creator - after all- even a crumb- a sign that there is something beautiful and loving beyond the physical- seeps in - a taste of the divine - like a raindrop landing exactly on the top of the skull - like angel tears - she knew- But anger took her hostage- she stopped driving- took the bus every day- trolley- max- she lived above a gym- goes walking around with her dog-the people in the neighborhood - were wealthy- she was not- she thought living here would be an oppurtunity to sell her art work- instead she was enrolled in the university - for a masters degree - she lay awake thinking about how she was going to do this/ she was twilight sleeping and was somehow in the center of a beehive- she could feel the bees- they had touched her all over- and did not sting her-- she woke up and could smell the honey- confusion -
The next evening she had a pounding toothache- her dog healing as he was was quite worried- her moaning and farting from
Pumpkin pie- were horrible- but the dog lay near her in protection and love-She could not fucking sleep- she went to the emergency dentist who did nothing but explain why she had to go- to an endontics dude to have the nerve rerouted-
She was crying at the trolley stop- as
She asked that God WHY The raw emotion was beautiful- yet the two men at the trolley stop seemed alarmed by Raw emotion --hiding behind the glass and avoiding any eye contact- - she thought that was an example of headphones and iPhone life- no organic communication- a vision of match. Com- on line dating- she staying in the web- the spider took his time- she wondered if he was beautiful- handsome - if he ate her- what and how would he begin? Would it be delightful to lay in his arms... She did not understand this world - various drugs were advertised - car insurance- cars- and in the middle of the night airbrushing your make up- a mask- they all look alike- a mono chromatic f
Tribe of people that rarely touched i
Or spoke to each other- orbiting from the job- to home and then back again- thief idenity was wrapped up in the job- and they had a certain set of skills-- but. .. She did. Not like them with the false smiles and high heels- she. .. Had a father and mother that were actors and actresses - so was the grandfather -- she thought they were not trustworthy- these hi hope are you? Seemed convoluted - her sister- was lecturing her about taking gabapentin and vicdan - she was going to sleep this evening- after days of active dream time- she put the buffalo in the closet as no wonder she could not sleep.
An altar next to her head- she told Ben the buffalo- really- you need a rest -