i know that didnt happen again.
there were other things that did-some were fun- some- not so fun-
i just hear that 'im tired' no energy voice- and its lie the 'im hungry voice'who are you?
what do you really want here?
the black and white art- or is it the tedious learning process- i rebel even againest the things which are good for me- early development skills i guess.
i thought i was real tough. as it turns out - im not- that my humor has been a shield for years- 'please protect me from pain'
the homeless goat guy at the trolley stop yesterday- his little troll fingers- tslking to -- not sure- no one i could see,, and hestatrts telling me while rolling a cigarette- that he didnt' like my mug'
i got mad. i told him- that i didnt care- but i did.
what can i do? this is the face i have.it is getting older- and i sure as shit am not taking any shit from a troll t the trolley stop=i am sure he was a short guy- im a tall lean and mean machine- no man is ever going to beat me down again- not ever-
so in my way home- im thinking about these little 2x2 squares my teacher loves - always in black and white-
the laughing girl graduate student stands on my last nerve=
all of us just with a finger in the light socket-
electric and vital to our surrvival- we do what the prefessor says and learn things in the process- and the paint comes squeezing out
painint a new one-on some old ones- i can hear the music now-- it has been an adventure- going deaf after all those rock concerts= i quit smoking- really= 30 days valentines day- first time i loved myself like this- but im hanging on- these things im learning have burned down the old ideas with a real fire-
i will not give in to that complaining girl that tries to sabotage my every move
she does not want me close to anyone
because then she would be alone
but she is alone
yeah and she likes it that way
who could stand your 'not sleeping fits?"
your neeed to keep it clean
it has been a hazzard
excet art makes things messy
thats why i cannot be married
because i spend too much time
not painting
writing
instead im baking
