odd feeling today

[Lucy!]

I get all hyper after acting class and lately been feeling the need to come into work after it and before my next class to talk to a few of my coworkers. Its weird- this feeling I get where I'm all flustered and ultra hyper about things, more so than my regular self. Acting makes me happy and I feel good even when I feel horrible, like today. I felt like a pile of old oatmeal, lump and yucky.

I have to vent and I let out all my hyper-ness with those I feel comfortable with. I wonder if I bother them with my eccentric ways. Maybe I should just shut up and try to relax after class instead of unloading all my energy on my poor friends.

[stilltrucking]

...

[Lucy!]

you're right
just reflective
im very hyper right now, its all this adrenaline pumping into my- my class was over 2 hours ago and im still ultra wired

i was 4 in that picture and whats so funny is that I look the same

[judih]

getting high on creativity sounds okay to me
if the surrounding folks can't take it, they'll let you know
heightened awareness will work for ya ....just keep your eyes open and let yourself jive with those who dig your adrenalin shine


judih

[jimboloco]

Lucy what a great post
I got an insight I'd never have got
except for still trucking's deletions
which are criminal

first thought best thought
among those you can trust

i am going down the list of snippets having a great time.

my friend bob took acting lessons in new york
down and out
but he sold home made bird houses in louisiana
i was there and saw it
he bought panama hats in yucatan
sold them in the city
still a part time waterbed saleman
long after the craze was over
and hads his websitehttp://www.norespectpublishing.com/poking fun at dubya
i'd say that acting lessons did him good.

he can talk to anyone.

he would talk to you fer sure after yer acting class.

high and hyper
kundalini energi flows
you would make a great personage
on stage
and off.

[stilltrucking]

I got an insight I'd never have got
except for still trucking's deletions
which are criminal

first thought best thought
among those you can trust

Listen grand daughte I don't always see eye to eye with jimboloco, he called himself a "male feminist" what i mean is I think it is bullshit feminism, if a man wanted to call himself any kind of feminist I think the best he could do we be a proto-feminist, kind of at the dawn of a new heaven and new earth, if need be from the ashes left by the mighty smighty god, I have taken a huge leap with jimboloco's Zen humor, who do I trust well when I was responding to your post "First Kiss" I wish hoping to see soozen dp anniefay you know one of those women that when they fart in the wind you don't want to be there.

I am sorry about the deletions, jimboloco is right, suicide is a crime.

An odd feeling I was sitting with Esther on the roof of the Amozon Hotel in NYC, she was throwing her clothes into the black new york night, and I was throwing my words after, seems like a scary image and of course I wondered if I was getting suicidal, but it was not a death feeling it was a snake shedding its skin kind of feeling. I describer in one of the posts as a college girl and I thought of you and this post. Since I have got this priest thing going pretty good it seems like I can hear my muse better than I used to, sometimes she sounds like st sylvia (the blonde bitch the professors wives called her) and sometimes like st anne (now that was a crime what her psychiatrist did to her)

So with all the posts about baby fuckers and Lolita I was wondering about what my intentions were, with my responce to First Kiss

I think they were platonic
I regret deleting all those posts I should have more selective. It just felt so good doing it, like throwing out of gear and let the big mama roll down the mountain,

First Kiss
tender lips
and then I went home and hugged my pillow
then there was some intellectual bullshit about pg-13
then and now
the immaculate white marble steps
girls sitting out on friday night
boys cruising by
I hung with an older crowd back then me about twelve, I think they took me along for jail bait

sorry lucy Jimboloco is the kindest man here
I may be the most honest.
most likey I am the most seriously distburbed
or so the folks at lithicks used to tell me

[jimboloco]

Well when I say I am a feminist what I mean is that I value women who speak fior nurturing healing values.

Also anti-patriarchicfarcical.

I don't need to devolve ionto fine points of mutter about
post-feminism. Is post-modernism dead? Suzi Gablik wrote it and since i have her study of Vietnam Vet War Art I figured.....

I don't see ST as disturbed, just sensitive and introspective, but with extroverted cabability, like empathy.

I could be mean. But suffered enough to know its consequence.
If anythang, I suffered possibly more than the norm. But now I simply got to understand how to be, be, be.

One day maybe I'll be back in the street.

[stilltrucking]

Husserl seems pretty close to presenting a western metaphor for Zen, but since I know so little about phenomenology and Zen it is probably just a pipe dream.

Husserl loses me when he starts inventing words like Hyletic, but most of the time he speaks in ordinary language like Zen.

There was a link about being disabled, parapylgic called
The Phenomenology of Female Spatiality about the similarities between women and cripples. A lot of lip service paid to equality these days, I know I have met my betters here women who are much smarter than me, but I can't help thinking about that body of theirs as something else, other a mystery, I don't think I would want to be one myself, hard for me to see them objectively because

I am so horny the crack of dawn better watch out.

Tom Waits I think.

so even though I can make platonic posts to a woman, testosterone poisoning always there it seems, I like Ken Kesey a lot, his view of women more natural than St Jack with his real gone chicks. Lucy a real new american woman, I am a little disapointed in the security mom issue, time for the women in this country to kick some political ass, I wonder about those women in the kerry campaign, those men too.