SUCH THINGS.

[dadio]

An hour after Compline in the chapel that is dim except for the light from the Sanctuary Lamp and moonlight through the window. The curtains were drawn back. Silence.

The door opened and Sister Olivia entered slowly. She was dressed in a white knee-length nightdress. She stood momentarily with her back to the door. Pushing herself away from the door, she moved across the chapel until she was facing the crucifix. She genuflected to the Tabernacle and then stood staring at the crucifix for a few moments.

Suddenly she turned around as if turned by another. She walked to the wall as if in a trance. Stopping she stared with a vacant expression. Her eyes moved from left to right and then faced forward. After a few minutes of silence she said, Let all fall upon my shoulders. Am I worthy of all this? Can’t another take my place? She threw wide her arms and then they were drawn outwards as if stretched. Where are you? Where is your light? They are coming. I can see their faces.

She looked to her left. Stared at her hands. I am all that is sinful. All that is foul. She tightened her hands into fists. With an expression of extreme pain on her face she said, Let this pass from me. Let it pass. Let it. Let it. L-L-L-Let it. L-L-L-let it.

She looked suddenly to her right and stared at her hand. Her face screwed up as if in pain. Her hands tightened into fists. I must drink from this cup. I must swallow all that is here. Foul. Foul.

She spat with deep expression of distaste. You should not have done such wrong. You should never have committed such deeds. She slapped her own face hard. Her hands then came together into a gesture of prayer. Forgive them. Forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing. They just don’t understand the implications of their deeds. She lowered her head and is silent for a few seconds. Lift me up. Raise me from this darkness. Raise me. Raise me.

She became tearful, lifted her head, and stared ahead of her. I am in darkness. I feel the cold hand of death upon my shoulders. I sense the fear of a thousand souls wriggling in my bowels. Voices. Voices. Screams all about me. Can you hear? Can you hear them? Where is your light? Where is it? Where? W-w-w-where?
She fell to her knees. She sat on her haunches and stared forward. You are responsible, she said pointing with her right index finger outwards in a jabbing fashion. You and you and you. You are responsible for all this. She opened her arms and showed her palms to the room. All this. I shall not sleep tonight. I shall not sleep. There is no rest for me tonight. No rest. No rest. No rest. She stood and slowly walked back towards the window and peered out. The moon is full. I wait for the cockcrow. I see the garden. The crowds are many. Their faces uplifted towards me. She stood back from the window. Moved back slowly into the chapel. I have been betrayed. I am undone. I am undone. She lifted her arms upwards. I am undone. She drew her nightdress upwards and awkwardly so that she began to be naked. Then all was plunge in darkness, except the Sanctuary Lamp that shone out in the silence.

Two days later in the Common Room Sister Edna, Sister Iris, and Sister Unity were sitting around the table. It was early morning after the office of Lauds. All were reading. Sister Iris said, How are Olivia's hands now?

Sister Edna lowered her book. Bleeding still. I wrapped them again this morning.

Sister Unity peered over her book. Are they really holes in her hands?

Sister Edna nodded solemnly. Yes. Very messy. Not a good sight to see before breakfast.

Sister Iris stares at Sister Edna. What does Sister Alice say about it all? Why hasn't she called out the doctor?

Sister Edna turned and gazed at Sister Iris. The Mother General of the Mother House told her not to. The bishop is sending one of their own down sometime today.

Sister Iris said, One of their own what?

Sister Edna’s face stiffened. Doctor. The Church pays him. Deals with matters that might be delicate to the Church's interests.

Sister Iris said, So what happens then? Will she go to hospital?

Sister Unity sniffed. An asylum more likely.

Sister Edna ignored the sniffing and said, That depends on what the doctor thinks and Mother General and the bishop decide. Sister Alice is unhappy about it all. She doesn't like anything out of the ordinary happening.

Sister Iris held her book against her breast. How did her hands get in that condition? Did she do it herself?

Sister Edna gazed at the cover of her book. I don't know how it came about. She was lying on the chapel floor when I found her the other morning and her hands were covered in blood. I've not see so much blood.

Don't, you make me feel queasy, said Sister Unity. Glad it wasn't me who found her. I would have vomited.

Sister Iris said, Gives me the creeps.

Sister Unity pulled a face. Like something out of a horror movie.

Sister Iris stared at Sister Edna. Who cleared up all the blood from the chapel floor? It wasn't there when I went to mass that morning.

Sister Edna lifted her head. It was gone when I returned after putting Olivia to bed.

Sister Unity said, Gone? Are you trying to make me frightened? You’re succeeding if you are.

Sister Iris stared with open mouth and the said, Are you sure Sister Alice didn't clear it up?

She knew nothing had happened until I told her, said Sister Edna.

Sister Iris sighed. This is too unreal.

Is it some mysterious event we should be aware of? Are you telling us everything? I mean this is real, Edna, isn't it, said Sister Unity.

Sister Edna said, Too real. She paused. Then she stood and went slowly to the window. Mother General has ordered nothing to be said outside these walls. It could be that Olivia will be removed and placed somewhere in Rome.

Sister Iris said, Rome? Why Rome?

Sister Edna sighed. They have places where they can hide strange cases out of the way and investigate them in secret.

Sister Iris stared hard. You mean we may not see Olivia again?

That is a strong possibility, Sister Edna said. There was silence. The three nuns looked at each other. Sister Edna turned and peered out of the window. The other two sat and returned to their reading uneasily. She’s out in garden, Sister Edna said suddenly.

Who? asked Sister Unity

Sister Edna said, Olivia.

Not naked? said Sister Unity.

Sister Edna shook her head. No. She's in her habit. She's wandering along the path as if nothing has happened. The two nuns walked to the window and stood next to Sister Edna.

Sister Iris stared and said, Her hands are still bleeding. The bandages are red.

I feel uneasy with her walking about, Sister Unity said.

Sister Edna said coldly, What do you suggest we do? Lock her up?

Sister Iris said, This is not natural. This is something strange and weird.

Sister Edna said, I dressed her hands not long ago. It's a messy business. Now they're soaked again.

Sister Iris stood back from the window. She's looking up here.

Sister Unity said, It's as if she knows we're looking at her.

Sister Edna took a sharp intake of breath. Good God. There's blood coming down from her head. Look at her face.

Sister Iris said, A head wound?

Sister Unity put her hands over her eyes. I can't look.

Sister Edna said, Oh...No. She ran across the room and out of the door.

The other two stood as if in a trance. After a few moments, Sister Iris ran out of the room. Sister Unity held her hands over her mouth, ran to a corner and vomited and a sickly smell filled the room as if death had come.


Noon in the Common Room. Sister Edna and Sister Alice were sitting on the sofa. Sister Iris was by the window. Sister Alice said, No word of this must get out. The bishop has been in touch with the Vatican and is awaiting instructions.

Sister Iris looked around at the Sister Edna. Olivia looks in bad shape. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw her.

Sister Edna met the other nun’s gaze. She’s lost a lot of blood. A doctor should see her.

Sister Alice looked distracted. The doctor will be here later.

Sister Iris said, Not our usual doctor though. It’s cruel to make her wait. She should be seen now.

I had a hard job bandaging the head, said Sister Edna. Never seen such wounds before.

You’ve done a good job on her. I could never have done such a thing, said Sister Alice.

Sister Iris said, She spoke.

Sister Alice gazed at Sister Iris. What did she say?

I couldn’t understand what she was saying, said Sister Iris.

Sister Edna nodded. She rambles. Her mind is confused.

Sister Alice turned and stared into space. We must watch her. Can’t have her going missing.

Sister Edna said, Unity is with her at the moment.

What about lunch? Sister Alice asked.

Sister Edna said, It’s ready. Unity prepared it earlier. She stood and went to the window next to Sister Iris. You had best sit with her while Unity is at lunch.

Sister Iris said, Rambles on she does. Words, words and more words. But I couldn’t make out what she was saying. She needs attention. Poor soul.

Sister Alice mused for a few moments and then said, We must keep to our routine. We must remember why we are here.

Sister Edna said, Just sit by her bed. Pray for her. Prayer is very important, as you know.

She grabbed my hand this morning, said Sister Iris. I had a job to get my hand back. Her grip was like a vice. And the bandages were blood soaked. Her grip. I couldn’t believe her strength. The blood seeped through the bandages and over onto my skin. She looked at her hand and then showed it to Sister Edna. I had to scrub it clean.

Sister Alice sighed. Mention nothing outside these walls. The doctor must see what he sees, but tell him nothing about anything else. Orders from the Mother General.

Sister Edna said, She will be away from here before long. Lost to us.

Sister Alice stared at Sister Edna. What must be done must be done.

Go where? To Rome? What then? said Sister Iris.

Sister Alice lowered her eyes. Somewhere she can be treated and cared for.

Hidden away like some freak, Sister Iris said.

Sister Alice lifted her eyes to Iris. Iris you are becoming hysterical. We are God’s instruments. We are nothing without Him. We are His to do as He wishes. Sister Iris stared at Sister Alice with a mixture of anger and disbelief. Sister Alice stared at the floor. Sister Edna looked out the window at the garden. Silence settled amongst them. After a few moments, Sister Alice rose and left the room. Sister Edna sighed softly and she too left the room. Sister Iris stared at the door for a period of time, and then she left the room.
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[eugeneherman]

dadio, Please apprise us... Are you a musician or singer? As I began reading your 'SUCH' post the melodic bouncing was palpable... Anyway, you write some cool $H!+ dadio... I'm gonna start transcribing my 'new' original jazz melodies soon... Soon as I listen, oops read more of your work, Ha!

[dadio]

Thank you, eugene.