Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

9:39 a.m. -

If I retired early the theory is I would make more money over the long run versus retiring later for a bigger piece of the pie on a monthly basis. Excuse me, I must sneeze. On the one hand and then on the other hand. I hate that shit. Makes me want to blow my nose into the same paper towel I used earlier this morning to wipe peanut butter off the countertop and then use that paper towel to squish flat one of the spiders around here right in her own web. The theory is that spiders are our friends because they eat bugs. Ya gotta laugh.
One - spiders don't give a damn 'bout the politics of theory
and, Two -
spiders don't have friends.

Crows are out on the killing fields of the yellow flowers. They are looking for bugs amongst the carnage of cut grass. I like to watch the crows walkin' around. They got the funniest walk. Makes me laugh every time. They are so serious about it and that gets me laughin' even more. I just now had to go back & put the "t" in "gets". I missed it first time around. If you leave the "t" out of "gets" you get "ges". How would you pronounce that ? Hard "g' or soft? And more, where would you use it and for what ?

Theory. Theory of this, theory of that, theory of the other thing. Everything man has, is, or does comes down to some theory. Some abstract thought. Man has gone to war and died miserably in and over the cause of some abstract thought. It would be as funny as the walk of a crow if it weren't so stinking sad. As bad and as useless as dying at the hands of some hypocrite.

That's why I can never commit suicide. I'd be dying at the hands of a hypocrite and I've sworn to avoid that if at all possible.

That's my theory anyways.

This is my theory
The Theory of the Leisure Class

I took the money and ran when I was sixty two.

I like grackles, such a disheveled looking bird, they remind me of the bums I used to see down on the waterfront in National City California. but there is nothing humble about that little bird, I like the way they strut.

I am afraid of suicide remember that poem you wrote “you’ll do it”
http://studioeight.tv/phpbb/viewtopic.p ... 89#p145589

That touched a nerve. Because for me it was about suicide.
I met a guy once who told me that death lizards from outer space were trying to get him to change his chromosomes or else they would make him kill himself. At the time I was very glib. I told him if it was me I would change my chromosomes. Later I learned he had killed himself. He meme'd me.
Now I am on my guard against suicidal thoughts in myself and others. If I was going to do it my preferred method would be by sailboat, I would want to sail off into the sunrise like Captain Slocum and never be seen again. Fortunately I am too broke to buy a sloop

I don't know of any good wars mingo. But what do I know I am a four f hippie who became a conscientious objector.


footnotes for attached images

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Theory ... sure_Class

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joshua_Slocum

For all my suicidal thoughts these past sixty two years I never attempted it except once when I was eight years old. I was a precocious child I suppose.

I don't know what could be worse than the suicide of a child.

You got me off to read about Slocum. The man could not be kept from the sea. Lucky too in that his 1st wife enjoyed being with him on the water. Up through the ranks and wheeling & dealing for all those ships just so he could be on the water. I can understand the emotion.

Never thought about the retirement early. Way I see it I'll be working 'til I can't anymore due to less than lucrative way of life. I know that even with SS I'll be workin' parttime somewhere and whatever else I can come up with just to keep eating & warm. But now that the idea has been aroused I'm thinkin' about it. Guess I don't have to get serious about it just yet. Tell ya the truth I have no lofty goals. I like to paint & kayak more is all & have my days come to me natural 'til my mind decides to take itself to sea.

I only thought about suicide once and that for the purposes of avoiding loneliness but I managed to ride it out. The loneliness left it's mark on me by leaving my sense of humor with a bit of a savage turn. Which still shows up from time to time. judih called it wickedly sardonic once I think, something like that. It does help though to give me some backbone that I otherwise might not have.

If I lose my mind I don't want to know about it.

I have a regret that I did not take up kayaking much earlier in life. Got my eye on my next boat. I know much more from my experience so far than I did when I began. Know what I want & need in a boat for the kind of kayaking I enjoy the most. And beyond my next boat there is one more - can't even talk about that boat. But I have seen her in a shop and I've run my hands over her silk smooth & shiny kevlar & fiberglass composite skin & lifted her from her rack into the air over my head with one arm. She is made by an outfit in Maine. The model is called the Quoddy Lite. Don't know whether I will take her in a twelve foot or fourteen foot length yet. Probably 12', I like the smaller boats for the kind of poking around I do. She is a dream I have but I already have a name for her. I want her in jet black bow to stern and I will name her - Lillian.

Still dreamin' after all these years.

Thx for your thoughts on retirement.