I love my kids

[happytrails]

But, I'm not sure who their mother is.


OKAY.......

So, last year I joined a gym (only lasted 3 months, but that is another story, for another day) I joined the gym and really enjoyed it. And for Christmas, my daughters chipped in and bought me special gym clothes and equipment. Now, here is where the wondering comes in. I am 5' 2" tall. I am old. I am chubby. (hence the gym) I absolutely hate stretch pants. Even when I was young and slender, I never wore stretch pants. I also hate tight t-shirts and especially long sleeved t-shirts with really tight sleeves. I am always too warm, and when I exercise, I sweat like a pig. (do pigs sweat?) I got myself a sweat suit to wear to the gym. A loose one, with short pants and a short sleeved top.

So, now we come to Christmas and the gift these two daughters bought for their mother. (with much love and kindness)

They bought me a pair of stretch pants. Very small size. Size 6. I will never see size 6 again, no matter how many hours a week I put in at the gym. But, hey, maybe they have faith in their mom.

And these pants were not only stretchy, they were 9 inches too long for my short chubby little legs. The long sleeve t-shirt was also a size 6 and the sleeves were 6 inches too long. And it too was very stretchy. It clung like well, *cling wrap*. I knew just looking at these clothes that they would never fit me, but it was Christmas and I couldn't tell them. So, I went into the bathroom and tried them on. I had to call one of my girls in to help me pull the t-shirt down over my ample bosom, and then she spent five minutes stretching it into place and straightening it out. By the time she was finished tugging and pulling and stretching, I was giggling so hard she kept telling me to stand still so she could FIX this. Then I asked her to help me with the pants too. She sort of looked doubtful as to whether I was serious, because I am in no way unable to dress myself, but she gamely helped me get these very tight, stretchy pants up over my feet and over my hips and pulled and tugged them into place too. And she did mention that they were a *little long* but I could bunch them up *a bit* and she did so. (I wonder who she thought would help me with these workout clothes at the gym.)

In the end they looked a lot like those slouch socks from the 80s, only really tight. (Tight enough they left deep gouges in my flesh when I later took them off.) So, finally, I am ready to go out into the living room and face the audience. (thankfully it was family only) And I truly expected there to be a lot of laughing and hooting and telling me to go, take them off and they would return them and get something that WOULD fit.

Nope. Everyone there looked at me and ooohhed and aaahhed and told me how beautiful I looked. I was a 66 year old woman, 5' 2" tall, wearing clothes fit to be worn by a 25 year old, 5' 10" tall woman who is very trim and extremely fit.

So, tell me. Who exactly are these girls and where are they hiding my real kids? Because, although it is possible I might lose enough weight to fit into a size 6 again, I am never going to grow 8 inches taller or lose 40 years off my age.

They make me smile. They make me laugh. I love them dearly, but who are they? Or more to the point where is their tall, slim, youthful mother.

Wherever she is, her clothes are hanging in my closet waiting for her whenever she shows up.