Studio8 - Uniting the Arts

just breathe on me- and well all those acid trips and fine ----------- about free love- roll thru my mind like the floor dropping out of a carnival ride- whosh- the rush- the high- the good bye...
the sneak- the peek- the wreak- going to a meeting with cum in your hair- those were the days.. a smile from ear to ear- ask me if i cared what anyone was talking about...?
but then it was- slick- on the trick- sly me up like a fox- slow and slick- and in the forest- in the hallways elevators and stair cases- guys with mullets and stranger than rocky mountain picture show mothers- -- james bond wanna be s and has been s.... all manner and no motor-no sound- just a nice jawbone to look at sideways- unpside down and backwards= need knee pads these days.....ALL INSIDE OUT LIKE- they look at you spooked like 'bring my mother back to life' - MY ANGEL WINGS GOT CLIPPED...
blending with the lush green forest- volcanic-erruptions on a green lush grassy field- orchids blooming in june in oregon-
ghosts of lovers past run thru like a yellow pages of assets and liabilities- benefits and drawbacks- i liked all of them- loved a few- ah but some men just love women- they know how- to keep that engine humming-keep that flow going=

In that case we can move to the coast of Tibet - the monks there are a tad serious but can be talked into a smile and a party easy enough - lots of rice wine & roast yak! And goat's milk! plenty goats milk! We can get a couple of those Sherpa hats borrow a couple of mountain ponies & head north across the mountains to the steppes of Mongolia for a visit with the Mongolians. The monks will come out to see us off right after morning prayers - they can whoop it up ya know because they know things 'bout humming engines.

my passport awaits activation- with piles of gold- i know that dialing for dollars is looking for me- my frenz- blueberry perry and sue won the sweepstakes because they purchased a vibrator- they got like 90 grande a year for awhile- it was electrical- i imagine monks have like a secret torture chamber with whips and bondage- i have had to cut down on group sex since 1980- but ,,, i prefer parties where there is quite a bit of water- and nudity- beaches- although sand has really bummed me out before- and well- maybe i could get a huh?
at any rate- i have never slept with a double sex- which give s me something to look forward to- if this is purely a biology experiment and it is about hormones and fireworks then well- when they start moaning- THOSE WHORES- the cats in the neighborhood look very afraid- fun- 'sure- but this is serious - mongo jerry maybe he can help out with 'fast eddie' and all the crew- or better yet =maybe not-'
keep hearing that life is a 'we thing not an i thing'
dunno-
i know that my past and my present sort of melt together in some strange painting of a very hot afternoon-

ha! exquisite! Hot afternoons find me in my kayak these days - if i can get away that is - aint had no hot afternoons so far - and I would have expected some by now - still your talk did bring up some memories but I think I won't disturb their rest - in fact I don't dare or they might disturb me -

for real----

Yes, creative soul, Exquisite is the word for your thought poem/essay. Absolutely!

the rain is here- the corn i grew is outside drinking in all that wet-squash- beautiful food- radishes- salad- i am so happy to be eating great food- my body feels better in some ways than it ever has- i have some beautiful blessings of days gone by where i made a choice- and ended up here-this morning began with oil paint- thick and gooey from yesterday-i spread it all out baby- got five paintings going on-had a journey out to the coast the other day- it was 90 degrees everyhwere- and at the coast it was perfectly over cast ---i felt blessed-'you caught me smiling' by sly stone comes to mind-
all the things that seemed important become like grains of sand there- for a moment-anyway-
i was affected- by the extra electricty- in the city- couldnt be there- sometimes i think it might be nice to have an old lady house- but i am not there yet=and a few cats- im sure-
taking vitamin c and sleeping- i love the rain- walking around with a blanket- welcoming fall- and the changing of the leaves which are teasing me- with one here or there--
one of my plants has a beautiful flower- and my orchids are blooming-
the garden is feeding me now- i am thankful- i prefer this to listening to people complain about thier relationships- i guess we all sound the same- i want to fill my ears with music and honey on my fruit and yeah- i like it- i really like it here- - so - im going to stay- because i can- and love will come to this doorway once again

I used to feel pleased when people would tell me that I did not look my age. Fuck my vanity, I want to look like I am 73 years old i just don't like this feeling of being 93. I keep shooting the karmic dice, I am going crap out pretty soon if I don't get my shit together.

Well so much for happy thoughts---

Love this book by a very smart and beautiful woman, She has a whole chapter on woman aging. Funny but sad but insightful.


“Women have become so obsessed with not withering, they've forgotten that there are infinite ways to be beautiful.”
― Maureen Dowd, Are Men Necessary?: When Sexes Collide

I DUNNO - THE WISE WOMEN ALWAYS HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY- and usually we do not listen- the stubborn willful woman that i have become- has made the gray hairs above my ears seem rather sexy to me- like currency -i have earned every single one of them- they mean something to me- which is why i do not dye my hair anymore-
the whole beauty thing was completely a farce- i wish some of those wise women would have talked to me about hormones and emotional up heavel before i had the experience myself- but-
i would have shook my head and then gone and done what i did at those youthful impulsive waterfalls of everything coming off my skin- excitement- pleasure- joy- love-= oh my gawd- i was totally stupid! that is the embarassing part- geez-
i ran away from home at 13- and well- i just did whatever i did back then- this little girl version of oliver- 'please sir can i have some more' with my little silver half moon over the moon- 'wishing on the moon' i was such a bazzare lil teenager-and now i chuckle a bit-as i was not to be tamed back then- hindsight being 20 20
then i thought after having some babies that 'i had arrived' oh geez could i please shut up?" not for anything-
so now in the quiet of the farm- the corn and squash wave to me before i go to sleep-i am nerotic about certain physical symptoms- others do not alarm me at all- people like me- that can read energy from a ways away- have to be careful where we go- lest we find ourseleves where we were before- oops- i think i am a wise woman- because?
i know herbs- i pray for people s healing- and yet ask me if i am alarmed- ? oui-
but all the wisdom is up againest a force to be contended with - this heart- is deep and real- do not jump in - if you cannot swim- i cannot save you-
i watch people do the most amazing stuff- and the only thing that has held me back is my own fear and limitaions- i cannot even blame anyone else- SHUCK AND JIVE- ROCK AND ROLL- but these days- i am happy to be above ground-

thank you all- but really- i must confess- that i do not feel the wind in my sails ; only the movement- the soul likes to expand and contract= on its own i imagine- as whenever i expect tennacles to come out of my head they dont- a real malfunction- if you ask me- the difference between being 'spirit led' or God centered- has its drawbacks- being so careful so as not to step on anyone s feet-
i didnt go to high school- i took one look and said 'it s too big'
and never went back- then i sold flutes in berzerkly on collage avenue- and- thought that this guy eddie was a great artist- the flutes were made of clay= as were my feet-
eddie told me' security is what you get by not having it'
that really pissed me off- because- , later i found that what he had said was priceless-
these days the rain has decided i9 need to be lazy and sleepy-to eat salad and vegetables and be quiet- still- and know that there is a GOD- and that syria and obama sound very strange to me- like hitler and hios gas- all murder- bob marley says' they call it murder' sometimes that is what i wonder about- what is everyone fighting for- resources- food and water and housing-it is all about lack of acceptance? what is the deal here- difficult to understand the way in language- certain words mean certain things- but lately it is as if the clouds of doubt float above the places where people got hurt for no real reason except power- control and the insanity of not having learned a thing form all the other wars=
so with these items pending- i just want to be thank ful- that my strangeness has brought me out here to the 800 acre farm- and that the people i live with are as interesting as i am in a strange sort of way-- peace=

wise women foolish women
kind women psycho bitches
mother sister lover friend
my sister myself


and it don't matter who's in Austin,Lady Bird is still the queen

wow - hope that the rain is blessing your crops and that you are somewhere comfortable- withy foolish dreams and a cup of tea-

i like guitar prose
and the telling
of something so incredibly
relative to the art of being

impressive

thank you-

Bill Burroughs & I drink this up & breath deeply.