Basic Statement At this Point of Space and Time and consciou

[theirishsea]

I don't know whether this is the place for a comment like I'm going to make. I'm not writing a scholarly or formal essay, or a memoir-like narrative. I'm just announcing to the world---well, not really the world but to a few companion writers in this forum---that I find the roll out of a carpet of words easy but my critical mind is unable to straighten the rug, get the wrinkles and humps out, or pull the rug over the carpet pad. Why such a self-effacing statement? Is it frustration with getting anything right? Maybe.

Also I wonder how attuned to the jocular jabs or mad modems of our American cultural speech I am. (I won't pretend to know British or Aussie colloquialisms) I'm a first part of the 20th century modernist. I like poems that seem to be guided by high aspirations. I don't like falling to the Andy Warhol assessment of things, or all the vulgarity of present day (business supported) society. I'm not a reactionary conservative---in the sense of Republican or Tea Party or Catholic Church. I don't worship the Global Market. I don't find everything absurd because I do feel for people's suffering, and some are really hurting in this big joke of a world.

I think one big problem I have in communicating with others is that I am too self-centered, and though I say that I'm not making much effort to change it. There are two paths to explore. One is in the inner self, reaching down into the depths of your soul/psyche/mind/heart. The other is reaching out to all that is outside you, including other people, other conscious beings. The Self and the Other. And perhaps the means of communication---for a writer language.

I'm very aware of my own imperfections. Perhaps I express them to a fault when I start philosophizing. Don't want to turn into Uriah Heep. However, though, paradoxically, very confident, I must admit inadequacy. There is too much vanity and selfishness and greed and indifference in this world. There is too much forgetting that existence does not exist for any particular Self---mine or the Queen of England's.

The original point was the lack of critical acumen in my own writing process. I have a difficult time revising---without destroying----what I( write. Is that true also in my thinking? Hmmm...

I'm very critical, cynical at times listening to those who pontificate, have divine revelation, superb credentialed expertise, speak from their own personal ex cathedra (sp?). I think egotism is a religion and religion is egotistic. (the Scriptural tradition of the desert religions
do not help us). I think it is good to take everything with a grain of salt, even our own skepticism.

Life, thinking, acting, feeling---it is acrobatic---a clown on roller skates, juggling ceramic plates, the skates on a teeter-tottering board on a rolling barrel. It is so hard to keep balance. Balance, perspective, confidence, humility, the burst of mysterious inspiration and the cool critical judgment of it---both positive & negative--- are---for me (I can't speak for others or they speak for me without consent)---is the ideal. IDeal---I Deal---.............

[theirishsea]

The last word in the title is "consciousness" but just as in life, your space runs out and you are left behind in incomplete shape.

[creativesoul]

i thought this was well written and well said- although i am not sure how i can valaidate you- other than - i think that your life analogy is good- a clown on rollar skates juggling plates' nice- and it is- like that sometimes-but every once in a while ya get a real smooth perfect run and language and poetry walk hand an hand- and the bumps and humps seem- kind of inconsequential-us writers though we can really get into those lil defects - with long wordy descriptions and emotion- that follows the flow-nice read- thanx