my part in it
Posted: December 9th, 2013, 9:35 am
i wanted the brady bunch, all the kids and the crazy back from when my kids were small- that age when nothing they do ever seems wrong- just wild- and i loved it- i loved rollar blade hockey -and i loved g man- he was hot- i mean he never ever held back his loving from me-maybe he just loved me back-
i came from a puzzling background- some things are better left unsaid-
he was a felon- he had twins- i was pretty close to my BA- he mentioned there were complications- i just took one look in those brown eyes and i was already getting off the freeway on my way to disney world= all those cute jokes about 'you want to see the cops have my face in the pavement with a gun in my face dont you?'
it took about two years for me to start thinking- 'yeah, that would work for me'
i drive too fast see.
i dont do anything right- in his eyes- and each day he took a brick out of my wall- until i fell- it was textbook really- and i was a women s studies minor- reading the deluge of abuse againest women in the world- even with the domestic violience wheel in my face- i never got the 'tension building' as a tool and a weapon- until i met him- mr nice guy in public, and then when he got you alone- suddenly it is like being under seige- naturally - i gave him the instructions on how to destroy me = i gave him the guide book for adult ADHD - i might as well have given him a road map to destruction-
seriously- interrupt me every time i try to say something and see how long we stay frenz-
i wanted love so badly- i would have s'sold my soul' my friend susan said that about me- it made me cry
now i wake up sometimes =knowing that the man i loved= is not who he is today- even if i still love him- i wont go near him again- because-too much water has gone under the bridge-
now it no longer matters that it has taken me years and a fortune to heal from the damages- and if my love is the flaw in the diamond- then let me remove myself from the equation-
but it does- because i was done long before we fought- before i decided to go see the planet uranus= but really it too late- even if loved you-
i came from a puzzling background- some things are better left unsaid-
he was a felon- he had twins- i was pretty close to my BA- he mentioned there were complications- i just took one look in those brown eyes and i was already getting off the freeway on my way to disney world= all those cute jokes about 'you want to see the cops have my face in the pavement with a gun in my face dont you?'
it took about two years for me to start thinking- 'yeah, that would work for me'
i drive too fast see.
i dont do anything right- in his eyes- and each day he took a brick out of my wall- until i fell- it was textbook really- and i was a women s studies minor- reading the deluge of abuse againest women in the world- even with the domestic violience wheel in my face- i never got the 'tension building' as a tool and a weapon- until i met him- mr nice guy in public, and then when he got you alone- suddenly it is like being under seige- naturally - i gave him the instructions on how to destroy me = i gave him the guide book for adult ADHD - i might as well have given him a road map to destruction-
seriously- interrupt me every time i try to say something and see how long we stay frenz-
i wanted love so badly- i would have s'sold my soul' my friend susan said that about me- it made me cry
now i wake up sometimes =knowing that the man i loved= is not who he is today- even if i still love him- i wont go near him again- because-too much water has gone under the bridge-
now it no longer matters that it has taken me years and a fortune to heal from the damages- and if my love is the flaw in the diamond- then let me remove myself from the equation-
but it does- because i was done long before we fought- before i decided to go see the planet uranus= but really it too late- even if loved you-