cannot make you like me

[creativesoul]

that lady was used to many people - lost tribe people coming to her and getting herbal remedies and journey work and talking to spirits with her all into the night- she was a little package but her lion could roar- and i was one to walk on eggshells in that area- once or twice i didnt- and i paid the price for it sorely-although women say things like 'stand in your power' - some of them say stand behind me- watch what i do-
i learned many things from this woman- it was almost like i got dropped off at the wrong house- save for the artist mother-actor father- i too- was from the lost tribe-
gathering all thru the northwest- many these lost peoples created huge families which were more like colonized ceremonies- unless it was a family dance and quite traditonal- there were going to be young people having dances and ceremonies- and things can get 'watered down' it was not clear sometimes where the people leading the ceremony learned from-
but i was just too raw- too sensative- people been telling me that for years- but sometimes it is the way it is- i cannot do anything contrary to that- or i get sick-or stuck-
but that worldly thinking creeps in- and people think they know what is correct and poltically sensative and 'not racist'- but really? and there is the same stuff there is in the sand box at school- petty jealousies and strange interests in what is none of my business=
i guess=heavy hearted- i watch- cannot lead a horse to water- or make them drink- horse has gotta be thirsty and wanna go-
i watched so many strange things over the years with the whole crowd- people go off on tangins - they think they are somebody-
anyway- maybe they are-
i am ok with being a nobody in the big realm - the bigger picture- stay strong- stories of the earth shaking down and all of us having to care for each other and - -
perhaps they are not stories-
she would always correct me- make me lsiten to her- when i was really wanting needing to cry - she would let me- but lately her fuse is short- they have re-built her engine- [doctors] and she doesnt wananlisten-- she talks- - but the days of clarity seem stained with the scars of her husband is dying- he has been dying for a long time- he is some guy- what a coyote- some people find that amusing-