the weather channel

[mnaz]

In your sweltering room in Burns, Oregon at the edge of trees you reflect on those crazy runs you used to make into boundless sage and vow it will be different this time. This time you'll find the silence . . . But you're off to a bad start; the TV is on. Someone stole your TV a year ago-- finally. And now, cable TV again. And at first you soak up its jumpy, lurching feed; it's been awhile. But my gawd that constant hustle, a pill for every ill.

*Click* . . . Now Weather Woman points at the south: "the air you wear." And it's funny how everyone on the Weather Channel is called a "meteorologist." Do they all wear glasses and study isobars? And Weather Woman, in her red dress, gestures wildly and points at a red heat wave. They even have wind chill graphics. "It's 76 in Boston, but it feels like 68." And what does 68 feel like? You could watch this channel endlessly.

Shit, now the local shyster lawyer ads are on, must be the middle of nowhere. Even bail bonds: "Been popped? Call Pop." Must be the Reno channel . . . Now back to Weather Woman. "Some temperatures are going up, and some down." Yes, she said that. Are any thunderstorms due in the bare hills? No, it's 97 degrees and wide open. So head south from the shore to be tested by silence. Deep quiet. Time and space.

[stilltrucking]

All I remember is the
fear and loathing in Reno
in the winter time
when I was headed towards California
and had to go up and over those mountains in a truck
but
not always terror
there was beauty on clear moonlit nights
it was a serene scene
love to see it one more time
the trees and the shadows on the snow...

thank you for writing

<><><>on a personal note I guess you probably got your new book out and I ain't finished the last one you wrote.
I had Clay's book of essays on my shelf for ten years and I am just now finished reading it. Roundscape only been on my bookshelf five years,, it's next on my reading list.

[mnaz]

thanks jack.

I guess i'm just a bit obsessed with all of that time I spent on the road, which mostly concluded about 6 or so years ago.

what I've done is basically rewrite my book--- i published it prematurely, truth be told. it reads more like an actual journey down the road now, and how my absorption into the light and expanse of desert space (it's largely a visual ride) is jarred back to "reality" at various points along the way.

the challenge now is to get this thing published--- again .....

[creativesoul]

my dad published his book- and he wears a cowboy hat and goes to his cottage industry acting deals and sells 8 by 10 glossies and his wife looks on with that glazed facinated look- a movie star-
at any rate- re-writing seems to be the script-
always
another perspective
watching bad tv at 5 in the morning- drinking ganoderma coffee-
it has mushrooms in it- and it makes the coffee better and not burn the ole gut up-in a tums fiestival- i have seen my family pack around various remedies-

if you were ask my advice- i would tell you that writing the book is only part of the problem- like the weather- and the paintings - sometimes i feel like s child and i hear the voice inside'i dont want to paint right now'
i know better
if you are blessed with any gift- it will call you on all your areas of reception
and tie you up and have risky and favorable sex
with someone that you like- but are happy to see leave
after a few days of exchanging bodily fluids

when i wake up - it is as if the alaphabet went on vacation- this morning R seems to be hiding
like a sign that was missed and you went 50 miles too far north.
oh yes-
adventures of the road
my stories perhaps will arouse suspicion that i even know what i am talking about- but in reno- my very first husband plays drums- still after all these years- he still gets in strange arguements with his band- and calls me 45 years later to talk about it-
reno is in a time warp- las vegas threw the whole thing off-
the rabbits run when they see white people
love sometimes follows the heat o the vastness in the dessert
i was born there-
i crave waterfalls and lush green moutain sides-
i crave being held tightly in the evenings
but i wonder- is being loved - going to lose the freedom i have? conjour this- travel and have a home base- but that road can talk to you of things that no one wants to hear
CLICK

[mnaz]

indeed. vegas threw the thing off. it was such a high-voltage charge that i HAD to live there, only to find that it was a warp in the desert's space-time field that kept interrupting my road. my orbit would decay, and i'd fall into the eye, only to be ejected again ....

[creativesoul]

classic- write a story- it is hot-

[mnaz]

almost done ....

[creativesoul]

it is never finished- i feel like a crazy person and i no longer bleed or menpause - so now it is pure hard drive addiction- obession to write or paint-

[mnaz]

very true. know the feeling well.

this part of it is almost done ... (but the muse will live on, twisting along its own road, this way and that way)

[stilltrucking]

the challenge now is to get this thing published--- again .....

is there is anything I can do to help?

[mnaz]

thanks, i'm not sure. it was 4 years ago the last time I published (with Doreen's help), so things might have changed a lot since then.

first thing I gotta do is actually finish-- the "final edit" is taking forever ....

I don't have internet now, except at work, so it'll probably be a few days before I get back here ....

[stilltrucking]

Reading Clay's book I wished I could send him messages about typos he missed.

[creativesoul]

looking at word press= cafe press? that what my dad used-i am gratful for the written word- cannot always pul words out of my mouth-

[creativesoul]

i need a zerox machine for my personal sanity- i do not think that a kindle would do it for me- i get off on the smell of printing- the history of paper- and the many books burned- classic artistic artifacts- PRINT IT
i have to hold it in my hands-
smell it- live on it- like a drug
i dont drink- but my obsessive nature will never quit- i am grateful i have never done crystal meth or it would be fucking over-like a broken robot with broken teeth- a zombie nightmare in the streets of roseberg or kauai- and that fucking term 'when i was gunning and running' is as good as the one'= a bunch of spoiled rotten stupid kids with a death wish- the paper mills keep the parents the criminal justice system keeps the children- or narcotic anoymous-the WEATHER for me is more about moods- no i do not think they are anything but someone s hollywood blow job for a week-they pass thru the newsroom rather quickly save a few-is there a difference between weather women and weather girls? you betcha- and now there are weather men and weather boys as well-lots of blow jobs- no fucking way am i putting any faith in what they say- they just want tobe on tv? why?