SLEEP less

[creativesoul]

i feel so many things - in the evening hours- all except sleep- twilight sleeping- feeling the pain in my kidneys- feeling the twenty million cigs i smoked over a thirty year period- feeling the things i did not want to feel- while not smoking- like a lil lab rat- i smoke the ganja- hidden in my private world- my dirty lil secret is the herbal medicine- - i paint like a job- one a day- i try to pull out of my hands-then i must sleep around 3- the afternoon on the back porch=the sunlight comes from the south and the west- that orange yellow- that seems to light me up-
i tried living on moraphine and the whole pain medication thing just got so tired- and although this oil- is a great replacement for smoke- i could suck down enough of that to choke a cow-
the quality of life is so much better- living the way i do- way out here-
might not see a person for the whole day-

lots of birds and trees- skies filled with various clouds and colors of blue- can har my grandma singing 'blue skies' by willie nelson-
pot heads dont really take medication-it is about cleansing and being healthy-
the only one that it bothers is me- i guess-
i think- you have come this far- why not let go of all of it?
i still think that it is ok- even when i feel like a deer with green bud on the roof of my mouth-and my kidneys hurt- and i can drink water and still be thristy-
have to go get accupuncture- a kick start i need-
the voo doo woman puts me under one needle at a time- i am in the light- i can travel weightless and not have the painn of the body - i feel freed-
i leave elated- smoke a joint in the truck on the way home- thanking god for this medicine- all these years i had to wait to be a farmer-

[still.trucking]

Dirty little secretes
we air our laundry
my fear of flying
my fear of women
no not so much fear of them
but fear of being one
my jack of nightmares
my earliest remembered
being taken down through a open manhole
to an underground hospital where little boys
were changed into little girls no oedipus wrecks
got nothing on me when it comes down to castration anxieties

her poetry scared me
so I studied on her life for thirty years
read the bell jar at least 15 times
I got bookshelf of scholarly works about her

this line came to mind when I read your story
i guess it was the "colors"
"The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,"

Yes I love women,and I am grateful
that there are those who are comfortable in their skin
who love their children
and tolerate men well

anxiety I always got a little of that when I write online about smoking my "מָרוֹר‎ mārôrherbs"
a friend of mine once said "Google is the best cop"

pain free yes if I had the discipline I would have a first aide kit that included opium,
but I barely got control of my body.

looking at it this morning in the sunshine I realized I am dead from my ankles down, and I think my other testicle had died too.

the beauty of little sisters is you can talk about anything with them, if you really fucking listen to them.

thanks for writing for what it is worth I come to studio eight to diet, something to read, that will inspire me to write off some calories

[creativesoul]

Here on the island
Round like breasts
Like the moon
It is a woman thing
Cycles of life, birth- even death
Hurts- forgiveness
Aloha
It is a woman like place
Like the womb

[stilltrucking]

a woman thing
she needs a husband
sleeping with the enemy
who makes her life hell

but that is the down side
on the upside
he needs her
she needs him
if he could only shut up sometimes
what is that shit about women talking so much

I need a brother in law
to care for my baby sister
a guy thing

[creativesoul]

She brushes his hair
The palm fringe dust
He says" only berry juice goes in my hair"

She loves him
The girls sit on his lap
He is their father
There is a love
Lingering
In orchids

[silent woman]

I call her silent woman
she is the woman in the shadows
well she does come to me in my dreams a succubus
erotic and beautiful
my first sister dearest friend lover
most of all she is muse to me
There was a time when I envied women their orgasms
but she made me feel like I was ten feet tall when I was on the street where she lived

I don't mean to wander to far from your thread which is titled SLEEP less


women and men
husbands and wives
some can some can't and some won't


tender is their love
the sumbitch is deaf as a post
you got to scream at him to get heard
and I scare him
into this guy thing where he thinks I am locking antlers with him cause I want to fuck my sister, but if the son of a bitchy don't treat her with respect I want to strangle the dog shit out of him
how to have a quiet word with him, maybe I need boom box with a micraphone
woa where did that come from sorry
that;s all the news that wasn;t fit to print
over and out
image source

[creativesoul]

Red dirt smells like a soil
That brings the animal
To the creek for water
Jungle vegetation sways and clack in the sun light
Flowers scent the air
Night blooming jasmine
I sit on the edge of eternity
All my seeds planted
My garden is growing
Life comes thru my feet and hands
My clit is tickled silly
By the images forming in color
Before eyes that long to see

[gypsyjoker]

I been writing a lot of sex stuff lately, more conscious of it getting into words, the thing about sex for me is that it is ludicrous, what do you say to guy when says "Thank You jesus" after his orgasm?

I think that is maybe why we never slept together again.

I have restored my virginity after all these years, never experience that passion again, true love first love, sometimes it happens to people over and over, but no such luck for me.

Now I just want to write the songs that make the young girls cry

I am on the Studio Sex Fast and True Love Diet

[creativesoul]

when someone says'll things in moderation' i want to puke= why on this earth would you want moderation in sexulity- unlesss of corse strangulation is your thing- that could be kind of dangerous- at any rate-
sleepless and sexless are not quite the same thing- although they often just hold hands

[stilltrucking]

lots of ways to die

they say Nelson Rockefeller died a good death
He died on an upstroke and got a free ride down
his poor 23 year old private secretary who was beneath him at the time
she was so distraught the family had to give her a few million to calm her nerves.
.
I miss the pillow talk, her voice running through me drifting off into her aura,
she could weave her voice around me like a net and hold me..
Sex just a part of it, also the companionship.

I guess a pet can be a companion too.

It has happened to me only a couple of times but it is a lonely feeling to wake up next to someone after sex and find you don't want to be there at all. Kind of like that Brautigan poem

Truth is I don't know much about sex I have only known 7 women in my time. If I don't count the prostitute when I was 14. That damned near ruined sex for me, it was years before I got over that.

but It is helpful for me to jam with you about it.
unwrapping karma.

good night sleep tight

[creativesoul]

It would seem that putting an ad in Craig's list for a nude male model I could paint- in the sexual encounter section- was one of my better moves- that New York accent sends me- and I cannot wait to see his body naked today

[stilltrucking]

I been thinking about putting an ad on craigslist too
I think I would put my ad in the W4W forum

seventy-four year old woman
who does not want to die a virgin
seeks eighty year old woman who feels the same

If I was an artist I would put it under art for sale

sleep not a problem very often, I learned to sleep fast
last night I
slept deep
woke up to the sounds of drums
that was my heart pumping my ear drums
I have run out of good moves
my life is a stalemate
I call it a draw between life and death
I going to set up a new board and play a what if jam
what if I had not been a mama's boy, what if I had been gay, what if I had married my true love first love, what if I have been born again


yes it has been a good medicine for me too, I call it my bitter herbs, and if go without
I don't write much,
When I get bored with smoking I get bored with writing.
maybe it is a snare and a delusion as my rose of san antone used tell me. She also told me it was too late for true love and I believed her mama's boy that I was.

Ohwell amor fati, I am who I am,




verbage and herbage I guess

[creativesoul]

in some places- i just 'sleep' it is like= i dont think that this is worth staying awake for- yet- when i am awake- it is torture for me to have to be 'quiet' while others are sleeping- i could not have coffee this morning as my thyroid is being tested- i didnt think i would make it - if i didnt sleep at the new boyfriends house- oh i just know better- fucking sleepovers- whatever-
anyway
today im worked out and back at the farm- cannot wait ti just hit the paint= my arms are looking pretty awesome from the weights-and the soreness is quite lovely- i see a nap in my future- sleep- nothing gets me to sleep like some valium= but in columbia county- you have to go to mental health to get that-
it is a process
by the time i get it-
i will not need it =im sure-
it is really hard to be 'interested'
i just think people are kind of boring-- and we talk about ourseleves alot
the dogs are quite suspisous
they think i am not paying attention to the frisbee
that is true

[stilltrucking]

the dogs are quite suspisous
they think i am not paying attention to the frisbee
that is true

sleep is a luxury here, a very spooky situation, you ever know someone who made you want to cross your self every time you see them? I get all the sleep I can when I can, been some long nights here in the kibbutz,, they used to say a good truck driver is always driving or sleeping.

all I can usually fall asleep in four or five minutes, I don't know how I would time that, but is about how long it seems to take. I listen to a lot of audio books at night, I hardly read anything anymore except on line. Them audio books are like Valium for me I guess, I just drift right off listening to them.

[creativesoul]

i have not been lucky enough to take valium- but i am quite content- the things that grind on me suddenly- stopped chewing- the things that seemed to suck me dry- dont bother me so much anymore- looking forward to a hot date on tuesday-- a married man-oooooooh i know it is going to taste great!hotel= he leaves and returns- so prefect= room service and sex- some girls cannot have it any other way- ok yeah- here and there- truth is=messy sex is better....wet sheets torn up beds- i have had it with love- give me sex- make me feel everything i was never allowed to feel- that is your job = or-' you are so fucking fired'...... like this old lady love thing- marriage is for insecure needy people that cannot be alone-- lol-
i feel pretty
and loved
and alive
sleep is good

yeah i know about those kind of dark people- my frenz say-'she was already running for the sage bowl when she saw that dudes truck' there was a scandal on the north shore of kauai- miss kauai spun out on meth and then her rabid dog boyfriend lost his shit ' so to speak-
i saw the ruck- and was running for it- the guy was on search and destroy'
and why do i even think of these things? it was the dark thing-