ya now sometimes i am a crazy woman - too many years in africa and italy and places most people never go- where the hunters have shrines in nigeria near port harcort- we went to some chief s house - he had 17 wives and who knows how many children- i was 24- and i drank champagne with a man [who was a chief] that made speeches with jesus movies on in the background-- after i dunno how many bottles- the native indian comes on suddenly- like a hiccup - or a belch- taken by surprise - she gets some real strange ideas-it is a good thing after the tour of the house, the vibrating elvis bed- that turns in circles with the touch of button= [still not sure why that was important] explaining that the wives compete for attention and it is like ms america- the beauty of the week-
so after seeing the silver ashtrays and eating something called a 'grasscutter' we went 200 kilometers down the road- and here comes the lil indian girl- all fired up on firewater- spewing - ONE ASHTRAY COULD FEED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE.,.'
'
you do not understand- here they take your child for a debt- to pay it'
so much for that society
i thought
later on in chile- when trying to remember just what year that was...
power is like salt water taffy on the twist in the window of the candy store- for a brief moment = there is even balance-
and then=
change comes in wind
or smiles
or love
or prayers with wings touch your face
from far away
no sticky mess-
just the smell of sugar
sweetness all up in your face
down at seaside oregon they have 'the candy man says'-- playing on overhead speakers singing 24 hours a day
it would be over for me if i had to work there-
but work is kind of vague=
if you get paid then it is work?
if you do it free- and for fun
it is still work
but then...
most people formulate your value by what you produce
i have yelled at the sky a few times
like hell- you want me to do all this stuff
on like no money-
and i need some help here
mister God dude- CREATOR- hey are you lissening?
ice cream is noty going to fix it
or ; '
but traveling in one door
and out the other=one world
one another
i will never stop praying for you my brother
i am off to down under- visa s passports
my family and i
after he took them from me
i thought it would never be healed
but once again italy proves to be the best choice i could have made
this year at sun dance igot to speak a whole bunch of italian
never ever thought myt life would make sense
why i had to go there
do this or that
love this one or that one
but today
my medicine is real
so some where in hawaii when i was living in the idea that i was beyond help-
but that was yet another illusion- like a person cannot change- it is the lie= that many believe-i want a very new nice clean apartment that is sterile= no dirt under my nails- no mudd under my feet
today i was asked to paint a painting of a woman
and a horse
and how much did i charge?
that is a strange question
i said 'ill get back to you on that'
different
moving on to a studio where paint is God
so i think
i want nice underwear and mac make up- and shoes not scuffed by gravel
but i went begging again at that sun dance tree-
asking please- help me
to be free-
