Sisters down under

[creativesoul]

-- i could see the lil girl inside the beautiful woman she had become- the lil girl that i tried to protect- the lil girl that was so afraid to be hurt again---------------------------------------------Shark in bondi Australia today- second time this week- the oz ppl use helicopters - to " scare" them out of the bay... My sister paige- and her dog chewie- went for a walk- it was why I came here-
I wonder about our lives and how we have lived--after mommie dearest damage control-
How great it is to see her and my family together-
I radiate thankfulness - because- once I wondered if I would see her again- thinking that all that had passed might someday be healed--
(To be continued)
I was my mothers mother- as she was in detox from booze all day- until evening when life was more like a costume party at cocktail hour- my sister says" I only remember you-"
Every day that I watch the ghosts of my mothers fear and anger masked by the silver tongued Hollywood bling rolling off her- and drowning her children in sorrow... My sister and I have struggled with the suffering of mommie dearest - for many years- my husband that died told me that I should not answer the phone when she called...
I see the really beautiful things my sister has- I miss her when I do not see her for years at a stretch-... And I see the way we avoid feeling anything that is as painful as having a mother like ours-
I was never a child.
Until now

while sitting on the balcony at Bondi beach- new south wales- visiting my sister for the after much time had passed-- my sons grew into young men and were respsectful and loving to their fabulous girlfriends------time -....... generations- the call of the ancestors- was heard by my eldest this last time i saw him glowing- in Bondi- getting ready to make a family- blossoming with light-- but this time my sons are grown- and they have brought me there- to love my sister- the time was filled with color and summer and years of things that no one revealed- or wanted to hear-things like lox and bagels and a laugh that her father did in the kitchen came rolling down memory lane-sorting thru- and replacing the shame and the fear- that mommie dearest had ruined the kind little girl she tried to be...
my sister is in the ocean waing and swimming- i can feel her smile fom here on the balcony where i am facinated by my =other son and pretending i do not want a cig- until i have one- mike smiles- -time-------my sister= - the years when both of us felt so alone- and that is when the letters began.....
letters that brought us closer to what we find in love with otjers- each of us a little light for the other---

[creativesoul]

Ghosts of my mothers fear-
But goats is funny!