last night

[creativesoul]

the weather here in Portland is warm with the tickle of cool breeze-the days are hot -the trains are in the distance- the lights glow on the river- my dog is off the leash- playing with his toy= i had gone to the movies- alone- i wondered why i did so many things alone- was it that that other people did not want to do things- going home to the cat- or working so much they have no energy for anything else-
the world had gone crazy- in syria = there were people starving walking to europe with boxes of food sent from jews for jesus= here in Portland we are number six in the nation for homelessness-there are entire families living on the street=children with the parents- sleeping under the bridge- pregnant women making jewelry and living at a church with their man-as i am walking- there is a kid on a brand new bike that yells- 'hey do you have a cigarette?" no i do not-
as i didnt have another- a strategy i have learned here- as the homeless have enough money for weed- but no shelter and no cigs-
it is disconcerting- to see people suffer and not be able to help in any way= the few times i tried to help- i was not happy with the insanity of the person- that arrives as soon as they think you can do more for them- taking what they can-
so i have had to distance myself- out of fear- surrvival and lack of faith in humanity-
i started refering people to central city concern- an outfit that helps thousands of people- but they drug test= so that eliminates plenty of pot heads and drug addicts from getting the help they need- there are war veterans begging for change in front of the ice cream parlor- it is enough to bring anyone to tears-
both the giver and the taker-
there was a time- as a young woman where these places did not bring on the fear that i feel now- thinking i was powerful- invincable- i hitchhiked all over the united states as a young hippie child- wanting to find something 'beautiful' for my future- i had found many places and faces- but i wanted love-
it eluded me= hid from me- a long game of hide and seek
that did not mean i never found it- just that it liked the game more than me
i spoke to the sky = asked 'why?' no answers came
i guess i will never be the same
once love has touched your skin
your heart can never return to its previous state
there were stars in the sky- even in this city
where so many people stare in front of them- headphones in their ears-a head full of fears-
actual contact-
yesterday a twenty year old shot ten people and injured seven at a universiy here im oregon= the world has gone crazy- and we all know it---

[saw]

the weird thing is there are people with full time minimum wage jobs that are homeless....there are folks that get a small disability check that are homeless....we live in a country where many try to pretend they can't see homelessness, or homelessness only happens when people are lazy...lies perpetrated by privileged people that don't want us to look at the system that created this....multi- billionaires no smarter than most of the folks on the street....and how did they make those billions ?....how can anyone work that much harder than a janitor, or laborer on a construction site, or a maid ? They can't !....They had advantages from the get go, and in many cases they lied, cheated, swindled and maybe even murdered to get where they are....when we bring everyone up from the bottom, we will all benefit.....there aren't nearly enough good paying jobs....young people are graduating from college with 100 k debt and are unable to find the kind of job to repay that debt...it's disheartening to say the least, and criminal at the worst....poverty and hopelessness breed crazy people......" what the world needs now, is love sweet love, that's the only thing there's just too little of "
-------Jackie DeShannon-------

[creativesoul]

the truth is that we are all looking up at the stars and hoping for a better life- and the sadness and ignorance is a crime- thanks for responding so eloquently