EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY

[sooZen]

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY

‘I am open to the guidance of synchronicity, and do not let expectations hinder my path.’ ~Dalai Lama

Simple? Yes, but most of us (myself included) get caught up in our fantasies of “how things should be” or “how people should behave” or “how things should go.” Lately, I have been very vividly reminded of people and their expectations and how those issues have devastated or confounded them and their families.

I have absolutely no control of how things are going to go or end up and anything I can possibly imagine is just that, imagination. Our fantasies, our need to control what happens is illusory and not the reality of now. Simple? It is, but it takes trust and evidently not many are willing to trust that all will turn out as it should.

So we gnash our teeth, worry needlessly about things out of our control, or even worse, get angry and want to exact some type of revenge or even a mindset of “I’ll show them!” “I’ll NEVER speak to him/her again!” “I need to (fill in the blank) so that what I want (name) to do gets done the right way!”

There are absolutely going to be times where someone I love is going to act in an inappropriate manner (being rude for instance or irresponsible or careless or inattentive). It is especially difficult when that someone is a beloved member of the family. The question then becomes, “What do I do about it?” (It wasn’t so very long ago that I truly thought I did have to do something to “fix it” or “help them” but that was my illusion, my fantasy…that I could and had some control over their situations or what they decided to do…)

NOW, I try and accept the fact that some are going to do what they do, despite good advice to the contrary, learning the same sad lessons over and over again and I have to let it go. I will not and cannot hold on my anger or sadness and that in itself involves letting go of my expectations about their situation and accepting the reality of what is. Something I work on and practice daily…by tossing my expectations into the sky, trying to smile and acting ALWAYS out of compassion… I still act, I still am listening, but I try and come (and react) from a place of peace within myself.

“Accepting reality doesn’t mean you don’t take action — it just means you let go of the frustration. Instead, you can act appropriately, and be more centered in your actions.” ~Leo Babuta, Zen Habits

It is not easy. It is easier to rage or to worry but the only one I really hurt is myself and that is not a good thing for I want me and those around me to be as healthy as we can be and my lessons in this life are not theirs or vice-versa.

S.E.A.Lee
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
It’s “Nate Day” and he expects something, I’m sure… Hah!

[saw]

Are all "Nate's Days" on Wednesday ?.....hump day as some like to call it.....I worked a lot of weekends in my life, so it didn't apply to me.......Hope you and Nate have a good one

Eckhart Tolle believes the only thing that is real is Now....btw, he has a lot of great talks on you tube that you can access for interesting slants on how to stay in the present...it's so hard to not drift forward or backward to places that get us stuck

Are you familiar with "The Four Agreements" ?...it's a book I refer to often....so simple, but so easy to get off track agreements we make with our self based on ancient Toltec Wisdom, written by Don Miguel Ruiz....I understand his son has now expanded with his father to write a fifth agreement...# 5....Be Skeptical but Learn to Listen.....sounds good...ha ha

The original Four are

#1 Be Impeccable With Your Word
#2 Don't Take anything Personally
#3 Don't Make Assumptions
#4 Always Do Your Best

they sound so simple, but man.....not at all for me....but knowing them always help me get back on track before I swing wildly into mania of some kind

Just as your quote from the Dalai Lama....seems so simple , yet....

Sounds like you are on a centering spiritual path that will suit you well...thanx for posting