the heat

Prose, including snippets (mini-memoirs).
Post Reply
creativesoul
Posts: 4650
Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
Contact:

the heat

Post by creativesoul » October 18th, 2015, 11:07 am

my skin is boiling with the week and the stories that roll around in my head in dreams that chose to elude me- my father tells me that he is going to be frankenstein in a new production in new york= a movie = o will once again feel the same othered sensation of being othered and that truly i am frenkenstiens daughter= it wasnt enough to wake up thinking he was in my house- waking from a drunken stupor with the tv on- and seeing his face on the screen.
everything hurts, my eyes, my neck my back= that i sleep on the best bed made does not seem to change anything- finished 'dry ' by burroughs and cried=
i wake up and go out into the rain and smoke a cig- with my microwaved coffee from yesterday- public morals is on - i listen to it and tap the computer in hopes that something real and deep will emerge- but no- it is still very much on the surface- like the blankets on the bed are too hot- i sweat thru the night - menopause- when it rolls me like a thief in the alleys of my mind- a drunken sailor would stand a better chance of surrvival
without my children i was st judes reason to stand for those that are lost causes-
my reason has dripped off me
celtic women in myths and legends loom near as i have to write a 5 page paper for a woman who teaches at the university with a large penetrating third eye that spooks me-perhaps the things i thought were important were really meaningless after all-only the dog seems to penetrate the small world i have enclosed myself in- dramatic and filled with a whole bunch of honest conclusions i wake to a sunday where the construction of the hotel accross the street is finally quiet-the wench that owes me 65 grande appeared in my apt complex dressed in horrid bali garb and with her ratty gray braid that i have dreamed of cutting off- and swinging around the room=
she has natives working for her for for free for her 'wisdom of the elders non-profit'= donating what they can = while i think that soon the bitch will die and i will do a happy dance- and get my house back-
the court system = the lawyers and their snail like pace have me angry and disillusioned-
my lawyer is coming over today-because i went and got another one.
my head feels like someone kicked me in the middle of the night- and i am ever so tired of having to be a warrior
all of these things bother me- the trust i once had for women- men- it wastes the energy i could be painting with - erodes my kindness= tastes like vinegar= and there is a part of me that knows that this will end- that she will die- i will dance- and life will get much better -
this heat on my skin - it brings a sweetness- a warmth of the soul
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

saw
Posts: 8279
Joined: May 23rd, 2008, 7:32 am
Location: B'more, Maryland

Re: the heat

Post by saw » October 19th, 2015, 10:20 am

heavy stuff for sure, handled honestly.....all emotions and thoughts on display....legal wranglings can drain the tank, leave your bones dry and fragile....our creativity stifled...

but we hang on, bathing in the meditations that give us hope...for a brand new day

ride it out my friend....write it out my friend.....
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

creativesoul
Posts: 4650
Joined: September 15th, 2005, 3:23 am
Contact:

Re: the heat

Post by creativesoul » October 19th, 2015, 3:15 pm

I appreciate the sweetness of your feedback
reason is over rated, as is logic and common sense-i much prefer the passions of a crazy old woman, cats and dogs and jungle foliage- tropic rain-and a defined sense of who brings the stars up at night and the sun up in the morning---

Post Reply

Return to “Stories & Essays”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests