THE LAST CHAPTER

Prose, including snippets (mini-memoirs).
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sooZen
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THE LAST CHAPTER

Post by sooZen » June 27th, 2016, 8:54 am

"Save your memories if you can" is a lesson I have learned as the years stretch and one approaches the close of the last chapter of my book of life. Being present and witnessing the passing of loved ones (more and more every day) and then knowing my life too will end is an awe inspiring trip. Those sweet memories usually, and should, override the painful tragic memories we have experienced. I have given up on cherishing or clinging to the bad stuff. It does me no favors nor does it make anything better or happier. And I want to go out knowing I have loved, been loved and without fear. It may be a lot to ask for not everyone can exit in a peaceful way... just not in the cards or the stars or whatever the plan, if there is one, is...

I have some pretty amazing memories with my friends and even if we were experiencing a horrific reality at the time there was always laughter, jokes, and the most valuable lessons learned.

I feel I am fortunate in that I can remember... that my senses haven't left me (yet) and every time I felt despair or unimaginable grief someone was always there who threw me a life raft to save me from drowning in my tears. That makes me very grateful.

As a writer, chronicler, photographer of all things in this path that is my life and having lived with those doing the same, I have volumes of memories I can look back at. My childhood is well documented by my family and my adulthood is well documented by myself: The time I was badly burned as a toddler and pictures of my hands wrapped up to my armpits are there; my adventures and misadventures on my horses are there; my silly plays and theatrical productions with the neighborhood kids put on for an adoring audience of parents are there; my singing in the A-choir in high school are there; my girlfriends and boyfriends are there; my first love is there; my first marriage to a artistic schizophrenic is there; finding and marrying my best friend and having our children and dealing with some very hard lessons are there... And all these types of things are what brings me here... now.

Maybe I don't remember things exactly as they happened but these are my memories and when I look at the letters I wrote (thank you for saving them Mom & Dad) or the letters and cards I saved, the pictures and little mementos (a lock of hair, a baby tooth, a pressed flower), it all comes flooding back. Sometimes all we have left is memories because the actual physical presence of those in the documents are no longer there to share them with you. I am grateful today for my beautiful and happy memories. Now if I was really "zen" I could let go of those too! Hah!

I will leave you with a pithy succinct quote and the old prayer my Methodist Grandma used to say to me as a child at bedtime, "...Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my soul to keep, and If I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take..." Very reassuring to a small child who was wide awake...! Hopefully, I can continue to stay that way up and until The End...
"There are things
that we don't want to happen
but have to accept,
things we don't want to know
but have to learn,
and people we can't live without
but have to let go."
- Author Unknown -
Freedom's just another word...



http://soozen.livejournal.com/

saw
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Re: THE LAST CHAPTER

Post by saw » June 28th, 2016, 7:32 am

can definitely relate....my current healthy challenges have certainly forced me to look at the sum of my life in new ways....maybe i would have come to this on my own, but cancer has a way of speeding up the process....I too am very sentimental....a saver of scraps, cards, kids art, old love letters...things in boxes that need to be revisited occasionally....all in all, I know I've led a charmed life....three wonderful children...a grandson, a terrific family, scores of close friends....great neighbors....I've got it all.....even cancer....can be useful it seems

enjoyed the reality of the poem at the end
If you do not change your direction
you may end up where you are heading

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sooZen
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Re: THE LAST CHAPTER

Post by sooZen » June 28th, 2016, 10:23 am

Absolutely... I totally agree Steve... Nate's journey has taught me so much and as he tells me "I'm the master of you..." How can one argue? We all need healing, we all need solace and we all love and appreciate each other on this journey.

Yeah, that little anonymous poem was the inspiration for my post. Isn't it funny how wise Anonymous is? Hah!

Dr. Wayne Dyer repeated an old zen saying but clarified it for me recently: "Everything is perfect just as it is...even the desire to change is perfect..." :)

Thank you for sharing and being...
Freedom's just another word...



http://soozen.livejournal.com/

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mnaz
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Re: THE LAST CHAPTER

Post by mnaz » June 28th, 2016, 2:16 pm

Yes, some of the anonymous ones are inspiring. I always enjoyed "Morning in the Desert," written by ??, found on a cabin door out in big sky land. I came across it in a collection of "cowboy poetry" I picked up.

I suppose I should put together my memories too-- photos, writings, drawings, home movies, even voice recordings from decades ago, a lot of it scattered in various places in the basement...

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sooZen
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Re: THE LAST CHAPTER

Post by sooZen » June 30th, 2016, 8:45 am

mnaz wrote: I suppose I should put together my memories too-- photos, writings, drawings, home movies, even voice recordings from decades ago, a lot of it scattered in various places in the basement...
Yep, ya should...! Just the act is cathartic, at least it is for me. And no matter who the person is, whether or not they are 'famous', one can find treasure in their telling of it. My Dad's humongous 3 ring binder of his 'book of life' that he made for family with pictures and report cards, and menus, etc. has taken me on so many trips!

Gathering all these things together is a lesson in so many things, organization for one, but something I truly enjoy. Give it a try...! :wink:
Freedom's just another word...



http://soozen.livejournal.com/

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