The Sixth Day

[sasha]

 
"Hello?"

"Hello, Lord? This is Peter..."

"Oh, hi, Peter. What can I do for you?"

"Well, uhh... well, Sir, this is the sixth day."

"Yes, Peter, I’m aware of that."

"Yes Sir, I'm sure, but... it's just that... it's just that, you know, we can't finalize the design until you decide..."

"For cryin' out loud, just use the usual boilerplate. The living creatures, the livestock, the beasts of the earth according to their kind, all fruitfully multiplying, blah blah blah. We've done this at the beginning every cycle since eternity began, you'd think you'd know the drill by now!"

"Well... yes, Sir, I realize... but we were wondering about the Man and Woman part this time."

"Oh. That."

"And we thought that... well, given what happened last time, we were wondering if you might want to try something a little different."

"Boy, you guys aren't going to let me forget that, are you?"

"Sorry, Sir."

"Huh. Well, to tell you the truth, I have been considering some options."

"In that case, Sir, Gabe reminded us of something you tried a couple cycles ago, on that little world you nicknamed Sylvia."

"Sylvia... Sylvia... rings a bell, but after a while, these universes all start to look alike. What did he have in mind?"

"Those trees, Sir, the ones that could consciously manipulate their dendrites and leaves, and learned to sing by orienting them just so in the wind. They were a beautiful people, Sir."

"Oh yes! I remember now. They were rather nice, weren't they? I don't know where that idea came from, but I get a little punchy after five days, so what happens on the sixth sometimes gets a little weird."

"Gabe said he liked jamming with them, and wondered if you might consider making them Man and Woman this time around."

"Mmmm.... I don't know. I seem to recall that as lovely as they were, they weren't especially bright."

"Uhh... no offense, Sir, but free will and intelligence didn't work out too well this last time..."

"Point taken. I'm reconsidering that combination myself. What else did you come up with?"

"Well, I was thinking of those sentient trilobytes, Sir. Remember how they became philosophers? Wrote texts in the sand with their own excretions, and developed a marvelous, thoughtful, pacifist world view?"

"Oh, them. Yeah... I suppose we could try them again. Personally, I found them rather dull and pompous. And there was just something wrong about treatises on me coming out of their butts."

"I suppose so, Sir. What about those telepathic crinoids you tried out two cycles ago?"

"Peter, I can't remember what I had for lunch today, never mind what I did two cycles ago. Help me out here."

"The storytellers, Sir. They developed a fantastic amalgam of their own history interlaced with epic legends, poetry, and essay."

"Bah. Tall tales, mostly. Inveterate liars, as I recall. Couldn't tell fact from fiction."

"Well, they were harmless anyway. Michael found them rather amusing."

"Michael did? I would have thought Michael to be more enamored of our most recent attempt."

"He's not as militaristic as you think, Sir. He won't back down from a fight, but he won't go looking for one, either."

"Like that last bunch did. You know, I had such high hopes for them. They were bright, they were energetic, and capable of such good."

"And they did a lot of good, Sir."

"I know that, Peter. But once we let them take a peek inside the atom, all they could see was how to make it go boom. I don't think I want to make that mistake again."

"No, Sir. So what'll it be?"

"Hmmm... Let's see... You know, the more I think about it, the singing trees are starting to grow on me. Might be nice to hear music instead of all that bickering. And they won’t likely be fooling around with the raw ingredients of their cosmos."

"Is that your final word?"

"I think so, yes. Make it happen. You know, this creation business gets tougher each time around. I've been thinking of taking some time off, a leave of absence, or maybe even retiring."

"But Sir! What about the worshippers?"

"Oh, for heaven’s sake, they’ll never know if I’m here or not. Just tell them… tell them I’m listening to each and every one of their prayers, and they’ll be fine.”

“But Sir, isn’t that a bit… disingenuous?”

“Oh… I suppose it is. Get a hold of Zeus and Odin, then, see if they want their old jobs back. I'm sure Mankind will never know the difference."

“Okay, Sir, I’m on it.”

“Thanks, Peter. Give my regards to the seraphim and all.”

“Yes, Sir. Have a nice eternity.”

“You too, Peter. Later, then.”

[mnaz]

"I know that, Peter. But once we let them take a peek inside the atom, all they could see was how to make it go boom...

Isn't that the truth... Enjoyed this fine little cosmic vignette very much.

[mnaz]

and then on the seventh day...

[sasha]

and then on the seventh day...

...all HELL broke loose!