In the October Light

[stilltrucking]

tells me lies
of an autumn wind
and fallen leaves

out of synch
sensory data
conscious light

As if I could store IT up in a text box.

[WIREMAN]

hooked on a feeling
'when autumn leaves
start to fall."

[stilltrucking]

I got miss Polly's dog
She went to live at Autumn Winds
An assisted living center

It is way past my autmn
going into winter
time fucks with me

October
My lunar calender
From the cemetary
where alamo rose
abides
I got no october
cause the kosher calander year ended in September

I am a pilgrim adrift in time again
walk through th eruins of Nagasaki
The day Ferlinghetti said he became a pacifist

October earth
a poem I think
Kerouac

must be why I been looking for that certain evening falling sun light.

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[stilltrucking]

things that go bump in the night
me
wasted days
trying to cling to the fading light
my night vision returns
like a long lost brother

waiting
waiting
waiting

for night to fall
going with the flow

[stilltrucking]

time is infinite
I could wait forever
I could wait for the sun to rise
for my laundry to be done
for the messiah to come
for the tables to turn
for thunder and desire
for a reason to die
for a reason to believe
for a purpose
for the meaning of this life of mine
for questions to be answered
for answers to questions unasked
I could wait
as if I had a choice.

[WIREMAN]

in a hurry to wait........they love to wait & wonder in those long lines.....while-ing away the hours, conversing with the flowers....

[stilltrucking]

off to see the wiz
stand in line
hurry up and wait
oz never gave the tinman

my sunflower fall
seven feet hight
every year I plant one flower in my garden
last year it was zinnias
year before that morning glories
this year sunflowers

I have killed more plants than Union Carbide
but lately my thumb is greener.

[jimboloco]

Alas you are free
october free
imprisoned by false thoughts
falling thoughts
falling away
perennial leaves always falling
always reborn
sweeping zen
rock garden
quietude
profiles in light and shade
indian summer and drought
global warming?
summer of indolent moulting
otoño de aires buenas
aloft over unbroken clouds
up into the moonlight

time for a change
pithy lies abound from snakefilled demonic neo-cons
putin calls dubya's bluff
turkey invades iraq
shiite militias call for independent national union
big boy clowns about on vacation
small voices gather from solitudes

some new jogging shoes are waiting
cleansing ablutions
whispering courage.

[stilltrucking]

ja ja
courage
it's what put the ape in apricot
lions and tigers and bears oh my


mz polly's birthday last week
got her a card, I was thinking about what kind of gift to give her
I thought about a coffee cup that I fished out of the dumpster where her daughters had dumped all her possessions when they had to move her to Autumn winds.
Dainty little cup with a picture of a foo dog on it.
I was going to gift wrap it and give it to her.
But then I heard this voice saying. "Don't" it was the voice of my baby sister telling me it was a dumb idea.

reminds me this bit from Still Here
about
a film called
"Complaints of a Dutiful daughter"
award winning film

"during the admissions process the head of the nursing home tells the daughter not to leave anything from the past with her mother"

This seems harsh at the time but the daughter does as she is told.
When she returns the next day, she finds her mother wearing a man's sweatsuit, and carrying a pocketbook with one penny in it. The daughter suddenly realizes that her mother is quiet happy, now that there's no one around to remind her of what she's forgotten

In the last scene, the mother is walking down the corridor, swinging her pocketbook singing I'm freee, I' freeee

October sunshine so exquisite and i suppose the final sunrise is the brightest I will have seen

"And that last good morning sunrise
Will be the brightest you've ever seen"
good night moonlight

[stilltrucking]

midnight moonlight
the nights here are spooky

I am surrounded by thousands of watts of electric lights
no shadows here to scare the spry old women that surround me.




Going to get out in the sunshine for the first time in days.

[jimboloco]

nothing to remind me of what i have not forgotten
young dead men in my head for 35 years
swathes of desolation
so i remind others for when i forget
keeping up the good fight
one heartbeat at a time
but i thought that the cup was a good idea
old folks in nursing homes
with nothing but scraps of discarded clothing
forgotten by relatives who live in their homes
and read poetry and literature
and frequent jazz nights at the dali museum
while mz polly's peer lived alone at the nursing home
i finally saw my art friends there one sunday afternoon after i had been there for three years working, one brief visit, then no more
it was the beginning of the end of my connection with them

judge not lest ye be judged
someday i too will lose everything
lived beyond my years
time to practice true zen
and head fer th hills

yes i said courage
not to be mocked
or made light of
as it is,
i try to fight my old demons
they come back stronger
i fight them harder
and begin to realise that old truth
no self
beyond nirvana.

Finally ....end of this series

Nirvana
Mixed media on paper
22" x 30"

bring the cup to mz molly
give her a piece o holly
bask in the late summer air
outside in the texas sun
not too far from my brother
who lives with his african girlfriend
in pleasure and pain
with no regrets

[stilltrucking]

nothing to remind me of what i have not forgotten
young dead men in my head for 35 years
swathes of desolation

I got to GO
ez here jim
too stoned
too glib
i useda "have a future full of money love and dreams"
if I can rip off a line from The Pilgrim.

You know I am certified jim
I don't need to tell that
I got it easy being a four f hippy conscientious objector
I don't know why I escaped the war
it was nothing in my doing
I tried to enlist

you my cyber friend
why were you among the chosen few
who had to endure
I saw surfermike post recently
I think about him from time to time
when there is some intellectual discussion about god going on
Surfermike wrote a little reply about the time he saw god in a firebase in vietnam. He said god had a 45 automatic and was wearing pilot's glasses

could have been you
.


Mz polly got a good loyal friend, in Mz Margaret. She still has her Foo Dog, I am just baby sitting him till she gets back in her own place again. At least that is the lie I have been sworn to.

About the cup
I much appreciate your comments
Be back later with more .....>>>>>>>>>>>submit

[stilltrucking]

Dem bones
I saw that one
Liked it a lot
He did one a long time ago that was incised into plywood. Looked like Petrogyphs
or heiroglyphics
fucked with my eyes for hours on this two d screen.

I would love to meet that one in the flesh sometime

I'll see if I can find it and post it here if the moderator don't mind.