judas greived because he smelled a rat, too
only he was alone in this and jesus knew his mind
judas saw how they glorified him even in their discipleship with him
they were awed by his presence and miracles more than by his ministry
and they argued amongst themselves and were almost combative
altho they listened faithfully and remembered and recited those days
they also faithfully recorded whhere they did not understand
and judas watched this along with jesus and he knew
what their pathos was, their tragic flaws, still olden days fear and power,
tho thhey meannt well especially in the first days of the church
when the fish was the sign, not the cross, mercy
judas wept long before his temptation into deceipt because he knew
they would divorce jesus from his jewish roots, a tragic mis-interpretation of his teachings
and so the deep connection bbetween the real rabbi jesus would be lost and a manufactured pseudo-jesus would emerge as they would glorify him and seperate him from the jews
a new church, but a breakaway church that does not understand what has happenned, only sees the shallow side of the signs and wonders, reports them faithfully, but do manifest judas' worst fears
and so they are diistracted at the last supper and jesus and judas watch then in theiir distraction
after jesus says,
now one of you will betray me....
and so judas looks at this with despair and then anger and hhe looks at jesus
accepting his cup, judas knows what will happen and he knows that jesus needs him to do this so that his gospel can be fulfilled and he finally says, ok to heckk with it
get it over with why does he have to do this when his disciples are so stupid
it's just a waste,
i am going. abbba, thy will be done, mercy, whhere am i, i need to get away from all this, away, back into the city, to the temple yes
i will pray there now i see the temple priests
they know me i am with them now
i tell them where you are, jesus, i am leading them to gethsemene
there you are in the shadows and you see me
your eyes sparkle in the dark from the torches they carry,
and the temple priest hands me a purse of silver, and i try to kiss you, in a trance,
yet i know my bitterness at this fate,
beyond the cross and the grave and the reserrection, my god have mercy,
there would be nothing but lies and mirrors of a new shape.
and i walk away holding the weighy silver
it feels good for a moment
then i run to get awayy, and run til i am out of breath, and come to a field of paupers' graves, yes i am here,
not knowing where to go or what to do
i despair in uncertainty and almost vengeful anger for jesus turned into grief
i know i could flee, run away and have silver forever to sustain me
yet i have nowere to go, i would face shame in my home synagguue even tho thheyy would understand his despair later
he hanged himself in honest sacrifice of self
without knowing this
and now in heaven judas is jesus' closest disciple and confidant
as we wake up to the anti-christ indeed,
the curse of the anti-christ was upon them at once, it preyed upon their assemblies, where thhey prayed and recited the holy teachings, as the sacred fish of jesus' pure love became the resurrected cross of the roman church
and the annti-christ became dominant in christianity and is here now
waiting to be done away with, knowing this tiime it will pass away, as we recover the true unstained gospel of jesus of nazareth, as he taught us, as he really was and is now to us....
the four horsemen of the apocalypse are moses, elijah, jesus, and muhammad
better get ready
2010 the end is near
the destruction of the pathos of the anti-christ is immanent
the illustion of power and seperation christians have plagued the world with for two thousand years of terror unmatched in human history for slaughter and blood, be done away with, it's so easy, anti-christ, we do away with you now
be gone
humankind needs to go forward now and this is how and where we are going
the four horsemen are coming again, together