I lie licked

[bennie]

there's a pinprick reality like the back of a train disappearing into a tunnel
a gorgeous melody lies garbled in the heather
and sins hang from trees in the small breeze
the long grass heaves in the post train wind arching into the tunnel arch
I lie licked, ulcerated
inebriated
never felt so self-hated

a remnant of a relic
rusted on an unvisited seabed
as clouds like Nick Drake songs in the uneventful northern sky
just wander by
past the wreckage, past the cluttered cliff edges
I lie licked, ulcerated
inebriated
never felt so self-hated

organised rain drops regimented fall
refreshing then irritating
the sheet of plastic flapping rattles in the grass
flowers bow their pretty heads
one winks at the dirt and a tear drops onto the tracks
stainless steel razor blade petals hang around
making barbed wire jangles in the wind
I lie licked, ulcerated
inebriated
never felt so self-hated

I use my rolled up train ticket to scoop a stone out from the dirt
I throw it at a can across the track and it misses

[judih]

mother earth knows her dirt
she dishes it out in spades
but as for me, i cry instead
mud masks crack my days

(helpme, i'm caught in a dylan voice - circa memphis blues)

[mousey1]

I like this very much.
A very good write.
I wonder about "arching into the tunnel arch", mebbe lose an arch? eh, what do I know.

"organised raindrops regimented fall" NICE!

Good stuff all! Liked the repetition.

Thanks.

[stilltrucking]

never felt so self-hated

bennies got the beat

all tangled up in blue

(helpme, i'm caught in a dylan voice - circa memphis blues)

a simple twist of fate

but for that I would kiss the salt from your mud streaked face

I could have made a moment

instead I sit here with bad conscience and motor cycle dreams
of returning to the Temple to touch her aching back


_______________________________
(because I can't figure out how to punctuate I am using carriage returns)

[bennie]

mousey1: haha, well, I added that "arch" as an afterthought just because I felt it scanned better. I wasn't sure about it at the time (very late last night) and I'm still not sure about it so thanks for your input. Mebbe I will lose and arch. Glad you liked it.

judih: there's nowt wrong with a dylan voice, especially from Blonde on Blonde era (my favourite dylan album) visions of johanna is a song lyric equivelent of standing in a vast empty space and feeling insignificant. I hear those words and feel insignificance as a writer, which, I think, is good. I liked that verse you posted, judih.

stilltrucking: you crazy ol' truckdriver, you. carriage returns and the muble "em dash" hide a multitude of puntuatilatory sins. I'm pretty sure that's a word.

[stilltrucking]

never felt so self-hated

stilltrucking: you crazy ol' truckdriver

You want crazy? Ill give you crazy.

Nietzsche’s comment about self loathing.



“Certified.” I used to have a trashy rock and roll tape that I bought in a truck stop in Virginia. Racking my brain trying to remember the band’s name. A group of veterans got together to heal themselves by music. All I could remember about it was the title of two songs. One was “Certified” as in certified crazy by the DOD. The other one was called “Angel In Green” about combat medics and sister morphine.

So I googled and came up with a greenday song and one about girl scouts.
Because I was thinging about Nietzsche and his comments about men who choose not to reproduce themselves, what a crock of shit, he was fucking howling at the moon under Lou Salome’s bed room window. I think philosophers make good clowns.

http://www.press.uillinois.edu/f01/salome.html

Nietzsche’s comment about self loathing




“Girl Scouting was my choice of roads to follow in my quest
For among the girls I found a love deeper than the rest."


http://www.scoutingweb.com/scoutingweb/ ... nAngel.htm

hey bennie dont mean nothing. I just going crazy in this text boxes. trading pixels
I wish I had a beat to give you the only one I can give you that sort of fits is:

"...like coming into New York City in the early morning light" littlefeat

[jimboloco]

standing in a vast empty space and feeling insignificant.

nice one, man. You had me worried you was so blue.
thanks!

[stilltrucking]

stilltrucking: you crazy ol' truckdriver, you. carriage returns and the muble "em dash" hide a multitude of puntuatilatory sins. I'm pretty sure that's a word.

bennIE I could have deleted my crazy post in good conscience if jimboloco had not posted his after mine. so now i got to live with it. Thanks for coming back to me, it was a good piece, I hope i have not defaced it with my screwball sense of humor.

Jimbo did you throw a brick?

Are you pissed at me because with the medicare Rx program your grand kids are going to have to pay for my viagra?

[jimboloco]

It's the Yohimbe root that needs to be paid for by Medicaire.

What has this got to do with pink flowers in the rainn?

http://www.garlic.com/~artworks/marijuana_art/
this otta cheer 'im up, with a sip of scottish ale, mates!

organised rain drops regimented fall
refreshing then irritating
the sheet of plastic flapping rattles in the grass
flowers bow their pretty heads

[stilltrucking]

there's a pinprick reality

if this was wyoming a two lane road and it was feruary and there was blowing snow and ice on the road. Then far off in the distance there would be a pinprick of reality.

man I am still getting over that nurse practioner in va, she was straight and too the point, she wanted me. this one here she don't know what she wants, still wants to be a polyester bride I guess. But it couln't hurt to exercise more.

I don't jim it has been longer than bennie's life time since I even tried, nothing like a good hug to find out if it still works. But to tell you the truth I don't want a pickle as much as I want to ride my motorsickle and scribble

[jimboloco]

It's a BIG SKY!
http://www.cs.unc.edu/~sud/pics/trips/O ... to-sky.jpg

[stilltrucking]

pinprick of reality

The tedium of the terror, subsided. I knew if I wanted to keep that big bitch shinny side up~ "i got relax"~ a white knuckled grip on the wheel won't do at all. I take my staring eyes off the pinprick on the horizon and try and enjoy the scenery. A barren desert of white fading into the gray sky. I so return my attention to the far horizon and now I think I see a smudge of gray. It seems as if I am getting closer to it. After another half hour of tejious terror it is larger and now seems to be an outline against the sky. Later and closer; I see it is a truck, the dark rectangle of a truck. I break for him on the radio. It is Thunder Chicken on my front door. Who else but another Zero Hero would be trucking on a day like this. We keep changing bardo's around here so fast I get confused who has whose back door, talk at you leader .
Doctor say I live five years if I take my time,

jim this ain't so much about jack and rose, she is always easy on my mind, I never wake from a dream of her with despair. She is the great white chicken fairy god mother of panta's daughter.


If I have a mission here it is rose's daughter and her son.

I am good to go,
i heard the sun today from a curly headed girl

[WIREMAN]

Bennie.....you are missed..........

[mousey1]

Ya, Bennie, he be cool. He could make a girl laugh in her beer.

Shall he ever return? *she sighed wistfully*

Well, I wish him well, a true delight he were and is.

[stilltrucking]

Bennie:
Did I tell you how much I enjoyed the poem?

it was poetry bennie
it was very beautiful
I wish I could do it
but I am happy that I can read yours
thanks

bennie wrote

stilltrucking: you crazy ol' truckdriver, you. carriage returns and the muble "em dash" hide a multitude of puntuatilatory sins. I'm pretty sure that's a word.

Never felt so selt hated before
some say I drive people away
with my craziness

bennie drop us a line will ya mate.
I am not licked yet bennie
but any day now